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Okay, I'm breaking out here a bit because what I've found is that the old adage "misery loves company" is true, because anytime I get a chance to gripe about things I get worked up, so....

I want to start this thread looking for the funny stories in the midst of all this stress and chaos. As caretakers when we step out of a situation, can you imagine how sill we look bribing an 80 yr old person with a piece of candy to "come on, I'll take you out" to getting ready for a wrestling match just to bathe? I mean my parents would fight to the death over that right not to shower, and we've all seen that message board.

So let me start with a couple.... my grandfather and grandmother from my mom's side, both had health issues, but grandma had beginning dementia and was seeing imaginary things. One of the funniest stories I remember is that my grandma thought my grandpa was tunneling floosies (these tramps) through a wall in the basement and just having all these sex parties etc.

My mom was frazzled in what to do. She started to tell my grandma that we had friends from the church who were FBI and, "Ma, its okay, we have cameras in the tv to watch what goes on. The FBI are arresting these women as soon as they come through the tunnel." My grandmother being relentless kept saying, "I can't believe your father... WHAT would he want with all those women..." (as a young kid, seeing my mother now.... oh I know what he was thinking.... roll a few fatties, pour a few drinks and unwind under the nose of his favorite control freak and the more the merrier!

Another story...Grandma at one point saw a horse in her house and started yelling for her husband to get it out. My mother was so stressed by this time, and I'm a teenager and I said, "Grandma, I'll take it out for a ride. I love horses, and it probably just came in for some lunch. Do you want me to bring her back for a nap?" She'd say no and I'd take this "horse" outside. My mom thought I was crazy but she was stressed to the hilt. Grandma couldn't help it. She kept screaming what a mess it left in her house and look at the hoof prints in her house. I just told grandma that it was okay, I think its something I can get out. I don't know if she bought that one or not.

Now turning that humor on to my parents.... I'll think of a story soon I'm sure... I just need to distance myself.... and I'm thinking West Coast this time (permanent vacation? :)

Hope to hear your stories!

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Neon posted a very funny day brightener on "So Stressed Out." For anyone who needs a laugh, it's worth the look...
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LOL, now that is funny!! See, join in and our loved one's don't remain upset for long! Great example! LOL, ah creativity.
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I am so glad that you started this thread. I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one again........
I was sitting with my mom at the hospital the other day and she was looking out the window. The hospital is in the middle of the city. She told me that I needed to call the fire department. I asked her why and she started screaming at me that there was a hugh bonfire in the middle of the street. People were going to drive into it and get killed. Their cars were going to blow up. The other people in the waiting room were just looking at her and me and wondering what was going on.

I told her that it was okay. The fire department knew the fire was there that they had set it and they were going to have a party once it got dark, and they had beer waiting on ice so that everyone could have a great time. She looked at me and said, "Well I guess you better go along and make sure that everyone stays away fromn the fire and doesn't get hurt." I told her no, I was going to go and get totally drunk and pass out next to the fire and hope that it got me.

I thought the lady in the next group of chairs was going to fall out in the floor laughing.
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Unfortunately no video, but I have it in my mind, and will never forget how cute he looked, and I wanted to cry, but that is another thread. Good Night All, pleasant dreams!
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That's so sweet! What a wonderful video that would make for memories.
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Hi All! I know this is not a joke, but I thought it was cute. Today, I sent my dad outside to enjoy what little sunshine we had. I told him he could go out and sit on the swing. I have a two person swing on my deck. When I looked out the window one minute later he was sitting on my daughters swing on her playset swinging like he was a child again. I was speechless, because the man can barely keep his balance when he walks, and here he was swinging like there was no tomorrow LOL.
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squirrel on phsychiatrist couch " when I learned that you are what you eat" I realized I was NUTS!
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Yes, I know looney as they come but its better than being bitter I like a funny joke once in awhile and I love when my friends email me and I LOL till the tears run down my face such good therapy
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Anne, yes sometimes when you try to explain stuff to people and they just don't get it and they want to tell you how to handle things when they don't even listen to what the situation is Isn't that what paul did? I have tried for 7 years to accomodate all her needs and she has had a tough row to hoe in certain areas but the door swings both ways, I do not know everything about the bible but I know enough about what God expects of me and sometimes just like this little site here we need to talk about what is going on in our lives. When someone doesn't want to listen and I must add God plays a huge part in this (in our conversations) it seems that it is just a one way road, so I can lend a ear but as far as sharing anything else yes I will shake the dust from my feet, It doesn't mean I will give up on the person. I hope that makes sense sometimes caregivers need a ear or a shoulder to lean on to.
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Neon, you are a kook! LOL :) O yeah, funny, too.
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrentic
and so am I
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Try #2

The man asked his wife to bring him some ice cream. She said, "I can do that." He said, "...with chocolate on top." "OK." "Put some nuts on top." "OK" So she goes into the kitchen. She comes back with a plate of bacon and eggs. He said, "I thought I asked for toast with that!" Ha Ha, hope you all have a wonderful evening! Don't forget to take your laughter medicine.
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Neon, Or are you talking about shaking the dust off your feet regarding that person who rebuked you?

Hey, what happened to the laughter??? If I wasn't so tired right now, I'd try and think up something funny. OK Heard this one today at an Dementia support group:

The man asked his wife to bring him some ice cream
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Dear NEON -I hope you do not mean that you are planning to leave us your insight and friendship and comfort mean so much to me and to lots of others we all have it very difficult and need to vent and laught and cry with each other and to provide guidence and support to others.
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Dear sweet Anne, you did not vex me I asked for your input because you are so well versed in the bible. I was looking for some of your guidance I was not putting you down, the person I was talking about goes to church with me and seems so righteous but on the outside has more money than sense and thats my observation as we are to rightly divide the word. I think God has a sense of humor he made us in his image spiritually as well as in the image of Jesus the man. I am studying to become approved I want to hear well done my servant. I think after all this today I know who to show my sense of humor to and who not to some people are just too serious all the time and If I was so serious all the time I would have a headache the size of Mount rushmore. Thank you NAUS I appreciate your input yes we are human beings You have all been a God send to me to be able to vent, respond, laugh, cry, find out information and love. I am one of those that is too sensitive and do not want to hurt anyone or be a stumbling block to anyone and like I said earlier some people just do not have a sense of humor, the sad thing is I've tried so hard with this person and she is cool and warm just don't know which one to expect until it hits you in the face, I suppose it's time to shake the dust from my feet and move on. Thank you both so much for your friendship on this site and just be who God made you to be. That is what is important. much love neon and I wish this site would keep me logged in so there!
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Dear Anne, I know this is not to me, but I was just curious what you meant by "ill attitude and humor"? You have not vexed any of us. I think maybe your knowledge of the Bible, may intimidate others, but that is okay. The wonderful thing about this site is that we can voice our opinions, and not be judged. We are all from different walks of life, and that's what makes this world so fun. By the way, if anyone here becomes vexed by you, they have the choice to respond or not. This site makes it okay to be ourselves. And I think God sees our humor as a way to get through difficult things in life. Don't you think he has a sense of humor? I mean look at the dung beetle! You just know he has to have a sense of humor also, he created us didn't he? LOL

Neon, you are a wonderful person too. I love your sense of humor! I think it is therapeutic to all here. If not they also have the choice to respond or not. Keep the humor coming girlfriends! LOL

Love and Hugs to you all! God bless you!
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Dear Neon, I am sorry. And I ask forgiveness for those who may have been offended or confused by anything I have written. I got convicted as soon as I posted something. I think I grieved the heart of God with my ill attitude and humor, and perhaps vexed some of you. Please forgive me. Neon, I am praying for you. Anne
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Please look at my post on myprofile I need some answers Everyone in mylife has it worse has all the answers I know nothing don't like my humor its really getting to me Well she wanted to go to ER today but I think she really does have bronchitis or something or a really bad allergy so called her doc will take off two hours from work and than still have to have mine monday, I had made them together so as not to miss too much work, I have to miss some tomorrow for blood work up but you do what has to be done, pretty soon I won't be making a paycheck and someone can come in and evict us all and they can all wonder why didn't she keep us all going, I still have to have my doc make my cardiologist appointment I am only 5 months overdue. But please help answer my question on the post I thought perhaps that's how you make a new thread some of these get soooooooo long. later
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My mom was telling my brother that she was on the toilet (taking a crap) and those two kids kept walking right past me. I can't get any privacy. Mom has dementia and is constantly looking for her two young kids, who are 41 and 45. She goes back in time and remembers them as preteens. She blames them for anything that is out of place or missing. Her favorite comment is "I didn't do it. It must have been those little rascals again". As hard as it is taking care of her full time, you have to have a good laugh at least once a day, otherwise you go crazy. I have 6 siblings and am having shoulder surgery in less than 2 weeks. I'm having a hard time getting them to commit to helping while I'm laid up. The sister that helps the most is on vacation that week, so the ones that don't visit are going to have to pitch in, like it or not. I feel for all of you in this situation.
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Hey Neon... say if he isn't feeling well you'll have to bring him to the cow doctor to have his temperature taken from under the tail. Perhaps you should suggest that due to overcrowding in the hospital the local vet is covering the hospital calls and they are boarding people in the stable.

(I think my evil twin needs to leave on vacation again)
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Senior bus. Geezer mobile. Wrinkle transporter to wrinkle city. Oops, there's that evil twin again...
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Well I'm sure all of us can come up with a creative version of the paddy wagon. Any ideas anyone?? LOL
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Wow! I thought I lived in the boonies LOL!
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I don't even know if this little town has a paddy wagon hmm something else to hunt down LOL
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Neon, if she refuses to go to the hospital, just call the paddy wagon, they will take her, and keep her for 72hrs, then you can have a little vacation LOL. I tell my dad, if he puts up too much fuss, and doesn't do as I ask to help me help him, I will call the paddy wagon, and he can go to the hospital for a nice comfortable stay. He usually changes his tune by the end of the day.
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mitzi I could say some things I have an awful (funny) sarcastic humor but usually I keep silent its a wonder my tongue isn't bleeding by now. This site helps immensely. Yes, I have a evil twin to and I keep her at bay as much as possible. If she is that sick she will go to the hospital like it or not. She has a doctors appointment monday and if she makes it till then, which I am sure she will, he can address it. I know her so well and yes she planted lots of seeds and they are all coming back on her she just has to keep something going all the time, its either to get out of doing small chores or attention or to push my buttons, but I have distanced myself from her since last week when i jumped through all the hoops because she wanted an apartment and when I brought her the application and boxes she changed her mind and thought it would be better if she stayed with me of course unless I didn't want her there, see dump it in my court. so I made new accomodations for her to unpack her stuff so she could put them out around the house and feel like a part of things, but I recognize now she isn't ever going to do that so those shelves will stay empty and when someone asks why they are empty I will say those are the places Imade for mother to put her knick knacks she wants to put out. Than the ball will be in her court She thinks she is so smart and saturday I did ask her if she would make a salad she said okay where is the stuff well I don't know about anyone else but the bowls are where the bowls always are and the veggies are in the fridge unless someone moved them to the microwave or oven or someplace, I wanted to say are you really that dumb or just make the damn salad and stop asking stupid questions but I didn't I just said I think they are in the fridge. and left the room . Its a laugh a minute. So less contact is best I can stay in another room because I can't even stand to be in the same room with her and that is really a sad thing for a daughter to say about her mother.
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Neon... Lesson I learned from the scriptures is simple, return on investment. She planted the seed its going to come back either from you or someone else.

The wicked side of me would say to her "I'm sure you are fine OR we can rush to the hospital. Which would YOU prefer?"

Then I would bring a book to read at the hospital (or whatever gets her goat).

Sorry its my evil twin speaking.
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You're really pushing it aren't you NAUS LOL I just went home to check on her, her eyes are red and she has this pitiful cough I cough like a sailor when I'm sick and I'm a tiny old thing. ?? anyway she pretended to be asleep I asked her if she felt any better and she said yeah and closed her eyes that dismisses me. so came back to work to eat my lunch. I am wondering if I have to take her to the hospital which I will at some point in time, and she doesn't want to go here because she thinks this hospital killed dad than I will have to take her to the one where he did contract the MRSA and than what. Any suggestions anyone I moved here because the hospital was close and Dad would have died anyway with all that he had going on so I guess if it gets so bad she will just have to do what I say whether she likes it or not. If she thinks I'm trying to kill her she will just have to think it. I don't know what else to do I've been in there a couple times myself I'm still ALIVE IT's ALIVE!!!! lol
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He doesn't eat anyway, unless it's put in front of him. So if it's not, he won't notice anyway LOL. He will wear the same clothes day after day, and not know if they are dirty or clean, so laundry won't be an issue either LOL.
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Well perhaps they would work together LOl although I know for a fact she won't do his laundry, she won't cook for him and she ain't doing nothing else if you know what I mean so it might just be pointless to introduce them she would piss him off in a heartbeat!
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