I keep lashing out at my husband, who is a kind and sweet man even during his dementia, when he keeps asking the same questions?

Cheyenne, I find myself doing that with my Dad who is in the beginning stages of memory loss.... I have to keep telling myself it's not his fault, but it can be frustrating.

You're right that trying to change the subject doesn't always work until something major changes the course of his thinking. My Dad was in the hospital this weekend and he kept saying it's time for him to change clothes and head to the dining room [at his IL/AL complex]... no matter how many times I told him he was in the hospital, again he would say the same thing. It wasn't under the meal tray was delivered by the hospital that Dad was finally distracted. Whew.

I think walking out of the room is the best bet if he doesn't need to be watched continually..... unless he following you around the house. Sometimes I can re-direct Dad by turning on the Weather Channel as he is fascinated with the weather in different areas.

Loving someone and sometimes getting annoyed with their behavior isn't mutually exclusive. God knows I'd be divorced by now if it were! Personally, I think it's completely "normal" ( not a big fan of "normal" classifications ) to occasionally snap at someone you live with. The key is to not do it too often, apologize when you do, reassure the person that you love them and finally - not beat yourself up too much when it happens. We are human and we make mistakes. The best we can do is to learn from them and work to do better.

Since you've tried most of the diversion techniques and are still bombarded with the same questions from your husband over and over I think it's fine to just walk away for a brief spell to preserve your sanity.

I find with my dad I have to get very creative with diversion/distraction and fibbing. Old guys like to talk about the old days and their great adventures. Even though I've heard all these stories a hundred times I still divert him there. I'd much rather listen to the same deer hunting story for the umpteenth time as to keep answering a question over and over and over......... I will even look out the window and tell him I saw a deer or raccoon. That keeps him busy for awhile. I'm fibbing but hes happy and occupied.

Cheyenne, have you talked to your doctor recently? Caring for a dementia patient is wearing. You may need antidepressants, more tespote, or your husband may have passed to point where he can be cared for at home without YOU getting more help. Does he go to Daycare?

Cheyenne, I know how it is. My mother really wore me down when she would repeat herself over and over and I didn't live with her. I don't have any answers for you. Just know that others understand you and your situation.

When I think of the times my exasperation came out - it was because underneath was GRIEF. We are living with a person we have known as smart, and capable. And holding that image superimposed over the current reality of their confused mind repeating questions, or their inability to figure out how to put on a shirt, is grief, and profound loss -- we feel sadness for ourselves, as that person can no longer take care of US, or comfort US. And often, there IS no-one else to do that. We've lost the part of our best friend that could relate to us in an equal give-and-take, and now it seems, only part of them is left. The part that needs our care, effort and time. For me, just knowing that what I felt was grief, helped a bit.

Sometimes I would plug my MP3 player into large visible headphones. Whether I had the player actually ON or not -- I would smile and nod at any interruption, then dance a little and turn away and keep washing dishes. It was a big signpost saying..."I can't hear you" which gave me a needed respite.

Singingway, you say can no longer take care of US, or comfort US.
Yes, how true you are. He and I are a blended family. I'd bounce off my problems to him; and he'd give thoughts. Now ----- well, not very much any more because he doesn't remember families too much any more. And your right, sometimes, he can't figure out how to even put on a shirt. Hugs to you.

Other ideas: Go tactile. Hold him. Hand him some play-dough, silly putty or therapy putty. Hand him a popsicle. Or a soft fuzzy or furry item -- a toy, or a live dog. Play happy music. I had a pile of party blowers (the kind that unroll, but NOT the kind that squeak) which helps exercise the lungs as well as diverts that talking energy.