especially when it comes to taking her tablets and my heart goes out to her. Her family take her out when they can.but she feels so safe in her own home.and she has not long lost her can i make her feel more comfortable taking her medication

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Dementia comes with agitation and anger, as well as paranoia. That's just how it is. Sometimes you can make her feel better about her meds by changing how you present them. Or, if she doesn't want to take them, let her "win" and then try again in 20 minutes with another approach. Let her be in control. It's less bossy to say "Is it time for your meds yet?" than to tell here "It's time to take your meds." Also, explain what they do for her, rather than just telling her to take them.

You might bring her a glass of water (or whatever liquid she takes them with) and then show her the pills and ask, "Which of these is the one you take for your diabetes (or whatever)?" She might surprise you by identifying it and taking it then and there.

She also might wonder: Why am I taking these pills? What are they going to do to me? Are they what's making me so confused and frightened?

Identifying what the pills do for her might make her happier. If she sundowns, you could catch her at a good time and get her to write herself a note identifying which pills are which and reminding herself to take them. As long as she recognizes her own writing, that might make her feel comfortable about it.

She might be depressed about losing her husband, which can further cloud her thinking, and she sounds isolated, if she only goes out with her family "when they can." She probably lost her social circle when her husband died, in addition to losing the constant company of her husband. Isolation can increase depression and anxiety, which then turns into a nasty circle: isolation leads to more depression, which leads to less desire to be out and about, which makes you more isolated, which makes you more depressed.

Is it possible for you to take her places? Even going outside for a walk or to look at the garden can make her feel better. It would be something fun to do, plus my husband's paid caregiver swears by the healing power of sunlight and the vitamin D you make from it.

Thanks for looking out for her.
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