How do you know when enough is enough?

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Could you give us some more information which might help us in replying to your concern.

How long have you been your mom's 24/7 caregiver? SINCE OCT 2014

How old is your mother? SHE WILL BE 82 IN MARCH

How advanced is her Alzhiemer's? ADVANCED SHORT TERM MEMORY

Has she seen her doctor lately and has the doctor said anything about her needing 24/7 care somewhere other than at home? YES, I HAVE A LETTER STATING SHE WOULD BE UNSAFE UNATTENDED IN HER OWN HOME

Has her doctor evaluated her for being competent or not? HE STATES IN LETTER SHE HAS ADVANCED DEMENTIA

When taking her to see her doctor have you asked to speak with the doctor in private to tell the doctor your observations of your mother? This is important because parents will try their best to come across as normal when seeing the doctor.- DOCTOR IS AWARE OF MOM'S CONDITION, I ATTEND ALL APPOINTMENTS

Are you her durable and medical POA? YES TO BOTH

Are you in her house or is she in yiours? MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE MOVED INTO HER HOME

Has she said why she is resisting having help come to assist her when you obviously need a break from doing this 24/7? SHE SAID SHE WOULD PAY ME, (I ALREADY TAKE AN ALLOWANCE FOR MY SERVICES) SHE IS GETTING MORE EMOTIONAL ATTACHED TO ME

Is she making you feel guilty or obligate to be her solo 24/7 caregiver? I FEEL I AM THE ONE FEELING GUILTY, I AM HER OLDEST DAUGHTER AND HAD HOPED I COULD CARE FOR HER , DAD DIED IN AUGUST, HE HAD BEEN HER CAREGIVER FOR YEARS

Do you have any siblings that are concerned about this enough to help? I HAVE 4 OTHER SIBILINGS, 2 SISTERS , 2 BROTHERS ALL YOUNGER, ALL LOCAL. THEY ARE ALL STILL WORKING AND ARE MINIMINALY INVOLVED AT BEST WITH HER

If you have siblings, has their been a family meeting to discuss a plan for your mother's present and future care? WE HAD DECIDED AS FAMILY MOM NEEDED ASSITED CARE, SO MOM WAS IN ASSISTED LIVING FOR 6 WEEKS - SHE DID NOT HANDLED THE CHANGE WELL, THREATENED SUCIDED, ETC. SHE WAS BITTERLY ANGRY. I FELT I WANTED TO TRY TO TAKE HER HOME, I THOUGHT THIS ARRANGEMENT COULD WORK, PROVIDED I COULD HAVE SUPPORT FROM MY SIBLINGS TO HELP OUT. BUT THE LITTLE SUPPORT I HAVE RECEIVED HAS NOT BEEN ENOUGH TO GIVE ME A BREAK --- I FEEL THEY 3 OUT OF 4 SIBLINGS FELT SHE SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN THE ASSISTED LIVING... AND I AM NOW THINKING MAYBE THEY COULD BE RIGHT .

If she needs to go to a nursing home, would she qualify or need to qualify for Medicaid? SHE WOULD NOT QUALIFY FOR MEDICAID,, SHE HAS A NURSING HOME POLICY, FOR ABOUT 22 MONTHS, WHICH WOULD HELP SOME.

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I answered this under the original post. It might be less confusing to have all the responses there.
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