How do you know that you are really listed as the joint beneficiary on life insurance and retirement accounts as told without documentation?

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My father-in-law has named my husband and one sister as the sole beneficiaries to multiple life insurance plans, retirements accounts and bank accounts. He has also arranged for his home to go into both their names to be sold after his death and to split the money. I was not at the meeting with the attorney however my husband does not have any paperwork explaining the details and his sister has been updating the insurance plans removing two siblings he has essentially written off. The sister has told one sibling and has been setting items from the home aside for the father. She also stepped in during to help her parents while there brother was terminally ill and against his wished she became the sole beneficiary to 12,000. after his death. He did not get along with her and would have never done this on his own. I have since found a letter he wrote giving his assets to his nephews and nieces.(not going to go there). I recently noticed she is listed on her fathers checking and savings account as POA and my husbands name is not. Is there a way to be sure she did not remove everyone but herself as beneficiary? When her mother passed she was given 40,000 cash as well. There are 4 children - my husband and her take care of their father however she is very manipulative. She has cleared out anything worth value from the inside of the home however we are not to take anything without her present or she complains to her father.......who then threatens to write off my husband. Mentally he is not all there and I am worried she will do something to hurt us in the long run. This seems sad to ask however we have three children and spend all out time helping him and she only shows up occasionally and has recently talked her dad into allowing her medical power of attorney (telling him there can only be one) that said the nursing home confides in us because she makes decisions that are harmful for him like buying him hit fat sugary foods and not allowing them to check his blood sugar level now that he is diabetic with congestive heart failure. Can we call the attorney to ask for copies? Do we know that all plans are being shared between them?? She has given herself a lot of funds and been in control of the conflict with the two written off children. She has no children to support and no need to be greedy but is. Is there anything we can do?

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Probate litigation is costly and ugly and it tears families apart. It is best to work it out without getting lawyers involved.
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sparkle50, the siblings who were cut out of the Will can challenge it in court and win back some portion of the money. In your case, as an in-law, you have no legal standing to ask for any information.
Nobody should take anything from that house-this is a very sensitive subject- any removed object can be assigned a high value and deducted from your husband's portion of the estate. Keep that in mind.
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Thank you but I know all about qualified income trusts since I worked as a paralegal. My daughter cannot get paid to take care of me because she is disabled and cannot work or earn income, especially while the SSDI lawyer is waiting for a hearing. I did not apply for Medicaid because I don't need it now and I'm sure it will be denied until the 5 year look back period has passed (3 more years). My daughter was not completely disabled when I gave her the money but was having trouble keeping a part time job and eventually had to resign. Even the best attorney cannot solve the problem and get Medicaid to pay for anything so I am not bothering to apply at all. Nursing home care is horrible compared to having a private nurse at home.
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Bev - so did you actually apply for medicaid and were ruled ineligible and have an actual transfer penalty issued OR are you thinking & been told so are assuming this is what would happen as you gifted $ to your daughter???

They are kinda very different situations. But either way, you really need a NAELA certified or disability specialist atty to sort out this mess. Your caregiver daughter may be paid by you for caregiving without a penalty happening if done correctly (personal services contract); also a parent can establish a special needs trust for disabled child even if the child is an adult and on SSDI or Medicaid. But it has to be done just right to not be an issue for Medicaid, SSDI, etc. It's not a DIY project ever, IMHO. You need legal to set this up.

I'm a trustee on special needs trust for a 1950's era polio cousin established by his parents in the 1980's. It does not effect his Medicaid or Medicare benefits at all or his SSDI when he was younger. He's totally competent too, his issues are physical limitations due to post polio sequelae. The trust pays for his adaptations for his car & home & other things that Medicare or Meducaud will never pay for.

About the too much income @ 3k.......well that is often dealt with by establishing a Miller Trust. Miller is totally legit but it too is NOT a DIY project. In a nutshell, this is how it can work......you get $800 SS & 1k deceased spouse retirement & 1k your own retirement. All income is from guaranteed income source. So every month, you have $ 2,800 income. Now your state has as its maximum income for Medicaid for an individual at $ 2,062. (this was the income ceiling when I applied for my mom). So $ 738 over the limit set by Medicaid. What miller does is that it becomes the payee so your income is $ 2,062. Viola! You now qualify! Now how the excess $ 738 gets dealt with depends on just how your state needs it to flow. Some states have the excess get paid to NH; other states have it go into an trust account that goes to the state upon your death. The atty will know what's what & how to set up the trust to be flexible for any changes in income later on. Comprende? Really a good atty is ging to be priceless for you both to get things done properly. Good luck.
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I gifted all my assets to my daughter who cannot work 2 years ago so that she could live during the 3 years it takes to fight for SSDI. She takes care of me. I have made myself ineligible for Medicaid. What if my daughter cannot handle my care during late stage Alzheimers all by herself and she cannot put me in a home due to ineligibility for Medicaid. My income of approx $3K a month also makes me ineligible for Medicaid. Is hiring a private nurse and being taken care of at home my only option? I am not sure how long my disabled daughter will be able to care for me but she is doing a great job now.
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Sparkle - so FIL is in a NH & also has his home which sits unoccupied?
It sounds like dad has assets (insurance & brokerage accounts, savings) so he would be private paying for his NH stay... right??
Is dads move into NH recent, like just happened past couple of months?
How much $ really does FIL have..100k?..200K?....400k? Most elderly find themselves with under 100K in savings at the time of gong into a NH.
What realistically could his house sell for in a timely manner?
How old is FIL?

All the answers to this are important imho because if dad is still on the younger side (under 90) and he has maybe 200k & a 200k house, all this energy & concern about 12K here & 40k there ain't gonna matter as all FILs funds & resources are going to be needed to pay for his NH & pay for upkeep on the house till its sold. If SIL is under the impression that somehow the government will eventually pay for dad, that is not likely going to happen anytime soon. Your SIL will find that all that gifting done under her DPOA will be a total cluster that she as his DPOA will be saddled to deal with and have to out of her own pocket private pay for dad to stay in the NH once his funds are spent & he outlives his $. To me, I'd make it central to let her know that all costs of anything dad or dads house, she as his DPOA is responsible to arrange for & pay for. I mention this because you say that you, your hubs & your kids spend time doing things for dad.

The costs of LTC are staggering. 100k to 200K a year is not uncommon. Often family is gobsmacked as to the reality of the costs of care & how difficult it can be to qualify for Medicaid. All that gifting will cause ineligiblilty either till 2021 or till a transfer penalty is worked though and it should be her problem to deal with.
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