About my Aunt I'm taking care of, She's 88 yrs old with dementia. She hasn't been prescribe any medication for dementia by her doctor. With that said, this means she is legally compatent at this time. My Aunt lives alone in her own home as she wishes/demands to do. I gave her options to either move in with us in our home or we move in with her to help care for her. She refused both options. She demands to keep living in her home alone.
Six months ago, one of my cousin's was her live-in caregiver. During that time many strange issues came about. I became concerned of how the cousin was doing things for our Aunt. To make a long story short. I learned that my cousin was beating our Aunt. Police and adult social services was called. The cousin was arrested for battery towards the Aunt. The family members had doubts that our cousin would do such a thing. I talked with the police detective in charge of the case and adult social services. They both tell me there is no doubt your cousin did these things to your Aunt. Photos of fresh bruises was tookin. And as I spoke with my Aunt's doctor this has happened before that I didn't know. So, I learned there is no doubt. After the cousin went to jail. Knowone was looking after our Aunt. The family refused to help the Aunt as afraid to be the next to go to jail if they try to attempt to help her as I was told by all family members I spoke with. I became concern of my Aunt. So, I decided to walk into this line of fire to help her. I am now caregiver for my Aunt. And her durable POA.
The reason why I became my Aunt's POA is because of two reasons.
(1)Know other family or friend was willing to stepup to this plate to help her.
(2)I was told by her attorney that he felt that my Aunt will need a POA.
So, in a way. I had no choice but to be her POA. If I didn't she would have knowone to help her. Was I forced in this? May sound harsh, Ya, in a way I feel I was. I took on this POA job without a step by step manual or instructions. I'm not brain smart or a attorney to know this POA job I learned.
Compatent or not?
As I am my Aunt's Caregiver & Durable POA. I'm running into many problems with this POA I feel. I was told since I'm my Aunt's POA I can't be hired/paid for my Caregiver services is this true? Is it because, this isn't my Mother it's a Aunt? I don't understand? If my Aunt is legally compatent? She should be able to hire me and pay me or am I wrong? Everyone I talk to about this question tells me to ask the attorney of this POA. I did ask. Without any help in return. The attorney's thinking is for me to go for Guardenship of my Aunt. This seems to be too extream I feel. Just so I can be paid for caregiver services. I think the attorney just wants to make more money.
My Aunt refuses to spend any of her money. I'm losing money out of my own pocket by helping her as her caregiver. Just in gas alone is costing me over $160 a month to drive to her home not including runnings I do for my Aunt. My Aunt's desire is to live alone. In order for her to keep doing this requires her to spend money that she refuses to do. Example, she needs a stair ramp installed to her home. She needs life alert. She fell 3 times within a week while alone. She refuses to spend a dime. I don't have the money to pay for this stuff she needs, She has the money but, refuses to do so. By her refusing makes me look like a bad caregiver. I'm her durable POA but, I'm not allowed to spend any of her money without her permission for her needs? Sounds to me that this POA paper work is worthless. As I am her DPOA. I feel I should be able to use her funds to buy these things she needs in order for her to keep living alone in her home. As long as I keep copies of every dime spent as her POA. I shouldn't have a problem spending her money for her needs. What am I not seeing? I'm Durable POA at her bank. But, I can't touch her money? Is this POA worthless to me? Sounds like I should of just been Joint on her bank account instead. Should I stop being her POA? I feel my Aunt is incompatent by her refusing to spend and her memory loss and many other things she does.
Incompatent, Who makes that decision? She had the same doctor for yrs. The doctor I'm sure see's that she's incompatent. He told her the other day no more nite driving. To me, I feel the doctor is waiting for me to say she's incompatent. Making me look like the bad person taking away her rights. As if he refuses to say the word waiting for me to say it.
I need advice please?