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We, my husband and I, help care for a dementia person while her husband goes to doctor's appointments. Yesterday while my husband tried to put a seatbelt on her, she kissed him on the cheek. She has tried to do this to me twice. We are not that friendly with the couple and just don't want that sort of attention from her. To prevent this in the future, how would we handle this current situation?

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I was brought up in a ‘no kissing’ household. I had to adjust with my in-laws who were much more into hugs etc. I have two sisters, one of whom took a swing at me when I touched her – clearly she didn’t have the same transition as I did, but then her in-laws died young.

If it’s just a ‘peck on the cheek’, I’d just ignore it. It’s a habit, not assault!
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Thankfully she is not trying to hit you. As others have said, try to not get too close and remember that her brain is broken. One patient in memory care came up to my mom, introduced her to me as the patient's elderly relative and kissed her on the head, lol. Mom was not amused, but it was better than the woman that comes at you swinging.
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Reply to JustAnon
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Honestly, count your lucky stars that she's not taking a swing at you, like many people with dementia do. So many develop nasty behaviors that make caring for them hellish. As others have suggested: avoid getting too close to her, and if she lands a kiss, don't react in any way. You 2 are the ones who are able to adjust, not her.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Don't get that close.
Or just get used to it and let it go. You won't be able to reason with her or ask her to refrain.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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You are best off to just ignore it. This sign of affection from a patient with dementia is likely just that....a sign of affection and gratitude for the help you give her. You don't have to return the feelings to accept them in the spirit they were given.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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The woman you're caring for has dementia so she's not aware that she's doing something that you and your husband are not comfortable with, so it's probably best just not to get close enough to her for to even be able to kiss you anywhere.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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