Kids didn't care until Mom died, not legal trouble. Any advice?

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Kids didn't help care for mom, now they are coming after Daughter in Law

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I agree.. I was a bit taken aback when the lawyer told me that, But she said it in the context as if we were to disregard the inquiry and just take the money. She said that we could be taken to court and in the end a judge could rule the money was part of the estate, not that it would so to speak but that it could.
My hope here is that she is going to get the packet with all her questions answered and be done, realizing that this small farm girl who she has always thought a bit slow actually had her ducks in a row and was prepared for her, that's my hope. But then part of me knowing how this sister is wonders if she might switch gears and try and get something else, which if she does will only cost the estate more money. I don't care either way, my job is done, everything has been left with the lawyer and I have to have no dealings with any of them. I can now focus on my small farm, raising this years flock and getting my garden mapped out and what I want to put in and planting a tulip bed to remember my husbands parents by :)
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The information about the account does not sound exactly right because jointly owned means jointly owned regardless of who puts the money into an account.

My step-dad didn't threaten to come after me and my lawyer didn't say that I needed to worry about anything with being co-owner with my mother of her accounts and every dime in them was put there by her. The bank didn't blink an eye when I brought the death certificate in to change the account into my name alone. We are talking about over $150,000 just in checking and savings alone that became mine overnight with her death. I guess if your SIL had been my step-sister, then she probably would have motivated my step-dad to try and get some of that money, but he'd not have a leg to stand on. The same is true of the investments that we were co-owners of. She invested all of that money not me. Its value was about $360,000 when she died in 2013 and now it is worth close to $400,000.

Anyway, I'm glad that you got some peace of mind from the lawyer.
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Thank you, for the update and most especially for telling your story. You have helped to reinforce to us the importance of document, document, document. I'm really lacking on this - with a daily journal of the home front. Receipts - I'm still working on it. And that's new info about the bank account - and how they can still take you to court and possibly win. I thought it was cut-and-dry but I guess not.
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I"m glad that your visit to the lawyer brought you peace of mind. I hope things will settle down now and that the sister will stand down.
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How much does peace of mind cost... $500.00... Worth every penny!!!

Met with the estate lawyer today, At first hubby and I were kinda freaked out because she was going over the letter and asking me for this document to prove this and that document to prove that... Let me insert a warning in here for all you caregiver of parents...SAVE EVERYTHING! every receipt, every scrap of communication with family, everything! I was able to reach into my file box and go to the corresponding folder and pull out each and everything to refute what was asked in the letter, no matter how petty or insignifigent I thought the question I had the proof to refute it. The Lawyer told us that even tho she might be blowing smoke her questions were valid and had we taken the older brothers advice and tossed her letter and paid out the family we could have found ourselves in court. So long story short, every claim she made is wrong and there is a paper trail and proof to back it up, lawyer is going to send a copy of sisters letter to all the kids plus the copy of documents to show what she asked, along with that letter will be a letter from the lawyer (from us) stating that the family has two weeks to look at any other papers they choose at the lawyers office and of course by appointment only. If they choose not to they must have Notarized and signed a document stating that they accept their share of what is left in the account and that they will seek no further action against us. Come to find out, The money in the account although is technically ours they could take us to court and possibly win because the only money that was deposited was from Mom and the only money spent was for her...

Feel much better, we have to have no dealing nor communications again...oh, and I asked the lawyer to include in the letter what she has charged and will charge every hour, what court cost will be and what the breakdown as of today their share of the inheritance is...

A lot of drama for under 10,000. each lol
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Yes, good news except for one brother lol, he tells us last night that the rest of the children shouldn't suffer because of this one sister, that we should just give him his portion so he can move on with his life... My husband told him that no money will be distributed until this is settled and that it is in everyone interest to work together to let her know to stop harassing us.
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Good news to hear that your husband has alerted his siblings! I hope the other three will stand up to their sister as a united front and convince her to stand down. Have a good appointment with the estate lawyer. That will give you more peace of mind.

Keep us posted.
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Thanks everyone, Yes, I was a bit ticked off when I wrote this morning, much calmer now. The appointment with the estate lawyer is more for our peace of mind that we did everything right and there is nothing she can come after us for. Although I know we don't have to split the money by golly my husband and I know it was not moms intention to disinherit the rest of her children and we will split the money equally to the last penny, My husband has alerted the rest of the kids the ball is in her court tho, no money will leave that account for anyone (us included) until this is settled. That got some heads raised and hopefully if the other three (two of which share executorship with her) stand up to her together she will stand down.
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I would make sure that you give all three executors the same information.

And I would take an official copy of the death certificate that the funeral home usually gives to the bank and have her name removed from the account because you are now the legal owner of those accounts.

From what I know, an executor of a will cannot touch joint ownership accounts with right of survivorship. The joint accounts automatically go to the survivors listed on the accounts.
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The Executor has to report to the courts exactly what MIL had the day she died. I would give her that information, with the account numbers and the proof of joint accounts, because she has to report that for probate.
Anything else she wants, tell her to get a court order and contact your attorney.
Then tell her to go pound salt.
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