Any advice on keeping so many family members away? -

Any advice on keeping so many family members away?


My wife and I live full time with my 95 yr. old dad. He is in great shape but always fears getting sick. My brother and his family like to visit twice a year. When I say family I mean 6-8 people come at a time, and this includes two small children. My father honestly hates all the noise and worries that someone will bring an illness off the plane, which is also a concern of ours.

However, my father feels bad telling them not to come, and we haven't said anything because its not our home. Trying to find the best way to navigate this mine field to make everyone happy and keep dad healthy. I know if I say something to my brother it will create issues. Anyone else out there experiencing a situation like this as well?



could your dad offer to pay for the hotel (**if money isn't an issue) and act like it was a gift from him - maybe they would like having their own space and they wouldn't be as insulted.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to wally003

Do these people stay with you? My cousin got around this when sister was bring 2 adults and 5 children with her. There was one guestroom. He informed his sister that the septic system would not handle all those people so they needed to find Hotel rooms.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29

Hand sanitizer and face masks all around
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Reply to jjariz

I had an uncle who as he grew older found the normal noise of childhood really "got on his nerves" - even the grandchildren he dearly loved. He loved their visits - but loved seeing them outside much more than in the house. So the house rules were the kids were only allowed in the general portion of the house for about an hour at a time during and just after meals. Other times they needed to play on the porch or in the yard or watch tv/movies in the bedroom set aside for their use. Kids were told when you get old sometimes its just harder to cope with a lot of people and noise and they needed to help Grandpa by being quieter and playing outside. I don't ever remember this being a problem (although my aunt probably explained this need to her sons) - I guess we just assumed that an old man had a right to ask for reasonable considerations in his own home.

Are there similar accommodations your family members could make during this visit? Would it be possible for the younger family (grands and great-grands?) to stay at a nearby hotel and visit 2-3 hours a day? Maybe visit in the morning and join for dinner each evening?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to TNtechie