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My mother had her second severe stroke and is living with us. She keeps talking about wanting to go home but she can't take care of herself. I have mixed feelings about taking her to her house where she can see it's okay. My son checks on it daily and takes care of the plants, etc.

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Thanks for the hug. I have power of attorney. She stopped paying her bills so I've taken care of it for a year now. I have her coffee cup and end table that sits by her chair. I picked those up a week after she got out of the hospital. I will take the advice and get some plants from her house. She is in diapers and doesn't change them when needed. Her breathing is worse but she walks better. She has no idea if she should eat or what time to eat. She is a diabetic so I make sure she eats the right food and takes her meds on time. I will work on securing the property. Thank you.
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She tells me she wants to go home. I asked her this morning if I take her to visit will she come back to our house. She said no. She smokes and I make her smoke outside. I won't change where she can smoke inside because I can't be around it. To answer your question, someone would need to be with her 24 hrs a day in order for her to live at home which is expensive and at this point she doesn't qualify for medicaid aid because of her owning the property and she has a small retirement that she's living on. She has blue cross blue shield. She may recover some strengths. She won't grind her food or thicken her drinks if she was home. The thickening agents aren't the best tasting but she has severe paralyises to her tongue and throat. A lot of aspirating.
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I think that the answer might depend on whether or not your mother has some dementia following her stroke. If she is "in her right mind" and wants to go back to her home to select items to move into her new home, and say "goodbye" to the place, that might be comforting. But I'd be very sure to make it clear that she has a new home now.

If she has cognitive problems, that complicates things, I think. Can she distinguish between visiting the house and moving back home?

You say she cannot take care of herself. Could she live in her house if she has sufficient support services? Would she prefer that? Is she likely to recover at least some of her strength and abilities?
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Aw, that is sad and it sounds like you are making the right decisions. Although I don't blame you, it must be a touchy subject and you should be able to find plenty of help on this forum. Good luck to you and your family.
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I would ask her if there is something at the house that she is wanting to bring to your place to make her more comfortable. Maybe pictures or something. I know my mom just wanted a few things to make her feel at home. Mostly pictures from the past. Best Wishes.
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