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Mom is refusing to take evening meds which consist of her diabetes and blood pressure meds. She has been not eating like she should this past week. The senior ctr is not equipped to monitor her. So I'm concerned that I shouldn't let her go unless the caregiver stays all day with her. I don't want her to think that she can refuse meds and still go to the ctr and do what she wants or not eat like she should and still get to do whatever. I want her safe and as healthy as possible. How do you get them to take meds?

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Your profile says your mom has dementia. She may be beyond reasoning about her meds. Why does she say she wants to refuse them? And why is she eating differently?

I would think the senior center activities help her stay oriented and happy - I'm not sure that withholding that is a good strategy. If it was me, I'd alert the senior center to the fact that she's not taking her meds as prescribed and to notify you if anything happens with her behavior that is out of the ordinary. And if her caregiver can go with her, great. I'd also talk to her doctor to see if there's another way you can get her meds in her - liquids that you put in a drink or something else. How old is your mom? Sometimes you have to pick your battles as our parents start to go downhill and weigh the benefits and negatives of each situation. To me, the senior center is a benefit to her (and you) that you need to preserve if you can.
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This is hard to say without knowing what effect not taking the medications has on her numbers. Do you know what her blood sugar and bp is when she doesn't take her medication? Maybe if you could check them and show her, she would be alarmed enough to take her medicine.

It is a difficult situation, I know. Please let us know how this goes. You may find something that works in convincing her to take her evening medication.
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Yes, you guys are awesome. My mom is 67. I can't get her to do her readings, she is very stubborn.The senior ctr was told of her having dementia and they said in the beginning that they are not equipped to handle her so they recommended that she go to the Senior Plus program, but mom is not at that stage. She can walk and talk and do things so I didn't want her to go there. It would depress her. Yes, she is having fun at the center and it keeps her stimulated so I don't want to deprive her of that. I just don't know what to do. The doctor told her that she needed to take her meds, but with her condition, her thinking is not always on point. She will think she already took it, or that I am trying to "dope her up." I'm hoping to talk with the doctor later today, I left a message because mom took some lab work last week and it came back abnormal. I just pray it is not something serious, but at the rate she's been going lately, I need to be prepared for anything. She needs to see a nephrologist and I'm having a hard time finding one with an appointment within this year! Her meds can not be crushed or liquefied so I am at a stomp at the moment.
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My mom with dementia has been able to take her own meds in one of those multiple pill boxes with compartments labeled with day of the week and time of day. She even fills them up herself -- it takes her a long time, but she does it. As this is one of the few things she can truly do for her self-care, I believe it helps her self-esteem. I do secretly spot check them a bit, but she basically does OK. I'm passing this along since you mentioned your mom is well enough to interact at the sr center.

Also, when my mom moved in with me, I was able to get her off some of her medications, including the blood pressure one. Do you know how high her blood pressure was when they put her on it? My mom's was so slightly elevated I thought it was ridiculous to put her on ANOTHER pill, yet it seems like the docs are so set on putting people on certain pills no matter what. It took me a few visits to convince the doc to take her off, but she eventually did.

I found that having fewer pills helps my mom take them easier. When she had more, she moaned and groaned all the time -- I think they made her feel sick and feeble to take so many and she was always talking about not taking them so she could just die anyway, etc.

I also recently got her off the statins for cholesterol, another drug that I find is prescribed with perhaps over-enthusiasm. Both of these conditions will be monitored regularly at the doctors, of course, and if they are truly needed I have no objection. I am just very, very skeptical about "true need."

Another one was a pill for dizziness, or vertigo as the docs call it. When I researched her meds, I found that most of them had a side effect of dizziness, yet instead of taking her off any of them, they just prescribed her ANOTHER pill for the dizziness. (This kind of thing makes me nuts.) When I also found out that these dizziness pills are only meant to be taken occasionally, and will lose all effectiveness after a few weeks of taking them daily (although they are sometimes prescribed for daily), I just told the doc I was taking her off and did so. I found some great PT exersizes on You Tube that eliminate her occasional dizziness in one session by resetting the inner ear!
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WIth dementia patients, I wouldn't see any benefit in depriving her of one thing due to something she refuses to do. She's not thinking clearly, so punishment isn't really beneficial. She isn't likely to recall the lesson you wish to teach her

. I would not leave her unsupervised at all at the center. If they recommend a certain type of care there, then I would consider their recommendation, since they deal with a lot of dementia patients and they may feel she needs more care than the current program offers.

I would encourage as much enjoyment from the program as possible. Deal with getting her meds into her separately with the advice of her doctor.

Sometimes, it works to just administer the meds. Don't ask her if she wants to take them, just say, "it's time for meds and then it's your desert" or "time for meds and then you favorite snack." I wouldn't open the door to rejection. Plus, there is the incentive of her favorite treats.
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