How to keep my grandmother (100) safe from herself without fussing at her?

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My grandmother is coming off of a broken hip and it has been 10 months since her accident. She has dementia and she can barley walk, however she still thinks she can cook, clean and wash dishes. She is supposed to only walk with a walker and of course its not safe for her to cook and clean. She is also leagally blind and pretty much deaf by the way.

When i leave the room she feels like that is her chance to escape and do what she wants in the kitchen. When i come back i get scared because she will be in the kitchen not holding on to her walker. I then fuss at her and tell her i will handle all of those things. Of course, then she gets angry with me and tells me to stop telling her what to do.

I know she is bored and if i could find something for her to do it may help. I am lost as to what activities a blind, deaf person can do. I guess she is in the mid stages of dementia she thinks I am 4 differnt people, talks about children that are somewhere in the house, and thinks people are in the closet. Any ideas appreciated. thanks

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How about giving her things to do like folding laundry, helping put together meals while sitting at the table. She could do the mixing and stirring and you could do the actual cooking.
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Thank you so much for the comments. My grandmother raised me since I was 4 years old and I feel like it is my duty to return the favor. She was on hospice twice this year and the first hospice seemed like they wanted to drug her non stop with psychotics or whatever they are called. She had a UTI which was causing most of the problems.

I took her off that hospice and put her on another. She got better after they gave her the correct antibiotic and then they discharged her after she gained weight. Now I have no help with bathing, or nursing. My emotions are shot. She goes on hospice so should i expect her to die. Now she goes off of hospice should i try to keep her alive. I am so confused. sorry drinking much alcohol tonight.
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Yes, you need to relax. Try to shed some of the stress and try to spend more time enjoying Grandma.

If you find her in the kitchen, don't scold her. Perhaps divert her from doing something you think is dangerous. "Gram, come sit and have a cup of coffee with me at the kitchen table. I want to hear about how you learned to cook!" If she still remembers her early days it might give her pleasure to talk about them. How did she meet her husband? Which of her children was the hardest to raise?

Your grandmother is going to die within the next few years. Nothing you can do is going to prevent that. Focus on trying to not interfere with her pleasure in the meantime.
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God love her, let her do it!. Remove trip hazards. If she falls, do NOT rush to pick her up. Take your time, make sure nothing is broken, check every bone before having her sit up on the floor. Encourage her to get up on her own, just steady her. If she can't get up, call 911, take no chances.
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thank you for the feedback. I guess i need to relax and stop stressing so much. I am the sole caregiver and i feel like i am losing my marbles sometimes.
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Brucew:

Wow! She's 100 and she still wants to be fiercely independent! She must be quite a gal!

To a certain extent, there isn't much you can do to keep her from wandering around the house trying to do for herself. I know you're worried about her falling, but if she insists on doing it, she's going to do it. My dad is a fall risk and we have found it virtually impossible to keep him from wandering around doing things he shouldn't. In fact, we find that the more someone fusses at him, the more likely he is to defy them by trying to do even more.

So from time to time he leaves his walker and falls. Or he falls out of his chair. Or he falls out of bed. when he does, we remind him that this is why we don't want him doing this, that or the other thing. Then we have to call lift assist to have the nice firemen come and pick him up. That costs about $125 every time we have to do it, but we cannot lift a 230 pound man. It embarrasses him enough that we don't have to worry about him roaming for a while.

Bottom line, nobody wants her to get hurt, but if she insists on wandering around the house, she is going to do it. It's not your fault if she falls and hurts herself. Next time maybe a stint in a nursing home will wake her up. That's what we keep telling Dad.
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I can understand your concern. If she was my grandmother let her do what she is use to doing for the past 80 some years.... cooking and cleaning.... for some women that gives them pride and makes them feel they are contributing to the household.

My Mom is 97 years old, and whenever I bring her groceries she gets a huge smile on her face... good heavens, I never got that excited over groceries in my life, but I am from a different generation. I wish my Mom would use her cane more inside the house but she *furniture walks* thus balancing herself on the furniture and hugging the wall. My Dad does the same thing.

As for finding something brand new to do in a form of activities, you aren't going to find anything that will interest her. Her activities has been caring for her family, that is what will keep her going. Yes, it might take another fall for her to realize she can't do everything she use to do.

As for her thinking you are 4 different people, well that is part of having dementia. Just humor her. Don't try to correct her. If she asks for someone who had passed on years ago, just tell her he/she isn't home right now... eventually your grandmother will forget she asked. As for the people in the closet, ask what are the people doing in the closet... anyway, it's her form of conversation.
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