How do I keep my grandmother from calling 911 and the fire dept? They are getting angry with her. - AgingCare.com

How do I keep my grandmother from calling 911 and the fire dept? They are getting angry with her.

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My 91 year old Grandmother has recently started having delusions that her neighbors are after her and are starting fires in the middle of the night on her roof. She is under doctors' care, who haven't been able to diagnose her yet (this is all still very new). She calls 911 and the fire dept at least 2x a week... I've tried to tell them not to come, but they come and they are angry! This has been going on for 5 months. They keep telling us to put her in a home WELL, IT'S NOT THEIR G'MA AND THEY ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS SO THEIR OPINION is based on them being "put out". She has nighttime care so she's not scared. She still pays her bills, baths, laundry, cleans house, emails me, etc. and does not want a "baby sitter" during the day, which I understand AND respect. But.... I don't know how to keep her from calling 911... Any advise is appreciated!

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Cinders . First of all it's none of the EMTs business where your Gma should be living. A solution suggested previously is to contact the fire dept and tell them about the problem and request you be notified whenever she calls them.

Huge Mom calling twice in a year for legitimate reasons is not a reason to institutionalize your hubby. If you are calling for something like help getting hubby off the floor and he does not need transporting then naturally you will be charged for that call as you probably will when he does need transporting depending on your insurance.
As a hospice nurse I had called them many times when a patient fell or got stuck on the toilet or even just to move them to a hospital bed in another part of the house. i even called the police once to see if they had a key to an apartment building because the patient was too sick to ring me in. They did not have a key but the fire dept across the street did and an officer got the key and let me in. He offered to come in with me to help. Many of our emergency services in this rural area have lots of volunteers who monitor their radios even if they are not called. It was therefor not unusual to find volunteers living close by to be already at the house long before the ambulance turned up. if i got a young crew who www arrogent and it did happen, Ijust put on my best Gma face and said in a strong British accent that would have done her majesty proud. "Young man I am old enough to be your grandma now just get on and do what you are told " For some reason EMTs seem to think they know more than RNs.

Huge Mom as far as getting hubby into care, I am sure you have thought of everything you can think of. Does he already have medicaid? Next time you can get him to an emergency room tell them you can no longer care for him. Now I know you are a big lady so be prepared to stand firm while young girls in seasonally themed scrubs yell and scream and tell you you can't do that. It will be likely to get quite nasty and you will be upset but stand your ground. If hubby actually has something that requires admission for at least three days he may be able to go for rehab and you can take it from there. Make sure he is actually admitted and not just kept under "observation" which is another trick they have up their sleeves. It won't be easy but it can be done without standing on a street corner holding a red flashlight and wearing a mini skirt.
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Cinders, I understand how you feel about the emergency services telling you to put your grandma in a home. This past January, after months and months of dealing with my husband’s issues, I finally called 9-1~1 when he couldn’t get out of a chair. This was the second time I had called in a year. The first time he actually collapsed. The first crew was really nice and one firemedic told me to call any time I needed them. This last time, the crew was younger and they brought their captain with them. The young guys were definitely put out and the captain was abrupt and curt with me. He, like with your grandma, also told me hubby needed to be in a home. That’s easy for him to say. I know hubby should be in a home. And what do I pay for it with, my looks? He was about as compassionate as a desert cactus.

I know you feel you have to, on some level, defend Grandma. It’s hard to see someone you love acting like this. But also, Grandma cannot continue taking the emergency services away when someone might truly need them. What does the aide do when she calls? Is the aide trained to deal with her delusions? Maybe talk to Grandma when she’s having a good day and tell her to call a family member. You can’t take her phone away. My mom called 9-1-1 three times in a week. That’s when I knew something was wrong and I kept after the doctors until they got it together and she was diagnosed with dementia and placed in a home. I know this is very hard to accept. Part of you is saying something is wrong and part of you is saying no way, she’s my grandma. I hope it all works out for you and your grandma soon.
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It's ok, Cinders, this is all very exhausting for all of us...this site is wonderful and I get alot of comfort from hearing all sorts of answers to questions I've had; or situations. We are all here for one another; dealing with someone whether it be family or friends with Alzheimers, dementia, etc has made me go thru all of the emotions of which we all have; you are not alone. I've had good/bad days and we just have to make the best of them...even if you have to deal with the cops/fire dept. I understand where they are coming from, but on the other side of the coin they should see what we are dealing with knowing it's not what is intended...it's an awful side effect and everyone handles it as best they can. If it happens too often, perhaps it is time to put your loved one into a facility then...I know, it's a hard decision but then it's the best for all...hang in there, come back onto this site for encouragement and experienced advice...take it or leave it, do with it what you want but we are all here for one another....peace :)
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Hi CRXPanda
Sorry I said G'ma when you were speaking of your mom. How is she? Have you heard anything since she was taken for evaluation?
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Let EMS get mad at her and report of APS that she is an adult without enough supervision. that will get you help!
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CRXPanda, having your Gma Baker acted was probably the best thing that could have happened,
disturbing as it probably has been for her.
Often the closest people to a loved one are the last to see that something is actually wrong.
Clearly gma needs to be in a more supervised living arrangement and you made it clear that it could not be with you.
You said she had a night time care giver. If she sleeps all night she is a total waste of money.
She should have a comfortable chair with good lighting close to Mom's door so she can hear when the phone is used.
I know many caregivers have daytime jobs and expect to be able to sleep most of the night. if they need to sleep at night they should find a different type of 2nd job.
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Hi CRXPanda
Sorry about your g'ma. Some will suggest that you start a new thread but it's good that you did a search and have seen some of the responses you were likely to get had you started a new one. Also good for others reading this site to know what might happen.
If your g'ma agrees to take the medication she will be offered, it might help and it might not. How old is she? Does she have other issues? Was she checked for a UTI? She probably will be now. Were you or one of the family able to speak with her the facility where she was taken? Some of her background info might be helpful to them. Let them know about her sight. I hope she gets some help. Come back and let us know how it goes.
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My mom just got Baker Act'ed by the local police for calling 911 on neighbors for doing this and that (in her opinion but not reality). I found this thread searching for what to do. Hopefully they can give her some meds after an evaluation. She has had undiagnosed personality issues all her life. She refuses psych evals. Totally independent, reclusive, and intelligent, just now with her sight deteriorating, she is having more outbursts with people outside our small family than before. We don't/can't live with her, so when she can't get ahold of any of the three of us, she starts calling 911, and 411.
Hope I can find answers here.
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If she is having delusions despite being on 3 medications, she isn't fine no matter what you think. If she keeps calling, eventually she either will be charged and evaluated or the police and fire departments won't come and there will be an actual emergency. They do have the right to be pissed because guess what, time and resources are being wasted. The phone needs to be taken away shortly before supper at the very latest and she needs a geriatric psych evaluation at a minimum.
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Contact the head of the 911 communications center and enter into a discussion about protocol and possible solutions. Make sure that they know that you are working on a permanent solution but in the mean time, see what they can do to ensure her safety while reducing the waste of public safety resources.

My mother recently called 911 when she thought she was alone at home and became confused and scared. I have contemplated taking her phone but in the mean time, I had the 911 Center put a note on our address that they are to call my cell phone if they receive a call from her (she lives in an attached apartment to our house and has her own phone line but same address).

Of course it helped that I am affiliated with the 911 Center so all I had to do was walk in and discuss it with them but you may experience similar success if you have the right approach.
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