How do you keep from *actually* screaming?

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I have to live with my Mother now. She does not have dementia, incontinence, etc. I know she appreciates the company, and I have tried every weapon in my arsenal to be sweet and patient. I don't get any time whatsoever to myself, and I only 24 minutes out of the day, to watch one cooking show. That never happens; she never shuts up. She will not respect my boundaries : I am with you every second of the day, please pleeeease just five me that 24 minutes. It seems the instant I sit down, I spend most of the time running back and forth for her. When I sit down, she babbles about everything from the obituaries, to how much she hates the chefs hair, to one of the ancient stories. If I never hear another word about 1941, it will be too soon. And in every story she tells, she's the heroine, the most beautiful, sought after, cleverest, and most driven. And God forbid I should pick up the ipad to deal with something ... As far as she is concerned, anything that happens on a computer is pure "playing", and no good can come of it. I am also sick of hearing what a FABULOUS brave heroine she was at both her husbands death AND my husband. Yup, I lost my husband through suicide, yet she is somehow a BIG heroine in that story. She was 400 miles away at the time.

Her hearing is starting to go. And I have to shout the most inane things five or six times ... There's just no way to so that without sounding like a maniac after the fifth time. The other day I was sick sick sick with the flu, just trying to get a little rest, and even with my head covered with a blanket, she stood there and just talked and talked and talked.

Gang, how do I shut her up and get her to leave me alone for just a COUPLE of minutes before I scream, and my brains fall out? Thank you for listening :)

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You need reinforcements. If you don't want her to bore the a*se off you and drive you to drink, then you need someone *else* to help take the heat off. Friends, neighbours, befriending services, paid caregivers, relatives, prisoners on day release - who cares? But bring other people in to keep her company, or get her out to a day centre.

As for changing the subject away from her - good luck with that!
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Put a lock on your bedroom door. Tell her you need to rest for 30 minutes and don't want to be disturbed. You can do this several times a day. Lock the door and that is it. If you get a chance to take a drive alone, turn up the radio and scream your heart out.

Not to be rude, caring for babies and small children is totally different from difficult elderly.
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I know. How about this? "Yes, we know you did - but we're talking about something else, now."?
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Exactly what I was thinking, Sodone. NomdeV., excuse my being nosey but why do you have to live with her? And is that forever, or just for the time being?
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You mean, do we correct MIL when she makes herself the star of one of our stories, when she wasn't even there? No, because it would only upset her. Plus, she'd just forget we ever corrected her and keep on doing it.

It still annoys the h*ll out of me though.
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Dear Sodone, I have a question : I get that sort of thing too, though not quite as loopy. What do,you say? "Yeah yeah sure", "You are so full of it ..", or "Is that so? How interesting,", and then take a deep breath while she elaborates, and you grit your teeth?
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She sounds narcissistic if she's the hero of every story, the smartest, the most beautiful, etc. MIL has always done this, only now she's the hero of OTHER people's stories. I'd find it funny if it wasn't so annoying. Here's my husband talking about a case he argued before the US Supreme Court and MIL chimes in with, "That was me and MY case."

She's not even a lawyer.

For NomdeVoyage, maybe you can listen to music on your iPod and turn the volume up when she starts yakking away. Have you considered setting aside some time each day for her to hold forth with your undivided attention? After "talk time" is over, you could ask her to hold that thought until next time because you have pressing business to attend to.

You say she doesn't have dementia, so I assume she's been checked out by a neurologist. Has she always been a non-stop talker? There's such a thing as pressured speech, which is one of the symptoms of bipolar mania, as well as anxiety disorders and schizophrenia. I've met a couple of these people and they wear you out with their chatter.
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Bless your heart, Shaking, I know that will just drive you bonkers, and I am so sorry. I get you, too ... Mums is not all that far gone either ... Just kind of infeeble. I apologise for just *quizzing* you this way but I am still looking for answers. Do you have any idea WHY she wants to bug you that way? What do,you think ... A control thing, she's just plain mean, she's expressing rebellion in some way, she just enjoys screwing with you, she's trying to get you to lose your cool, just for kicks? Because right now I am just furious for you. You might have to do something mean about your fridge, Luv ... Like put a lock on it.
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Oo, y'all are just super!! Mums is pretty blind, after a failed cornea transplant ... But she does enjoy Reminisce with a magnifying glass :) But JessieBelle, I hunk we are kindred spirits! I don't have a long attention span ... Once she had be kind of trapped in a corner, wouldn't stop babbling, and I wanted to escape so much that I actually had a panic attack, and really freaked bad. She keeps jabbering when I go to the kitchen, where I can't hear her, so I do just have to ignore whatever is said after I walk out of the room.
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I've often wondered how our parents deal with us when we were children. One of my mother's friends told me Mom told her I was climbing around breaking her cherished knick knacks, purchased with little money while my father was in service.

Then one day my brother found some letters Mom wrote to Dad shortly after I was born. He was stationed in the South until they could reunite on base. She wrote that I kept her busy and was very active but that she didn't mind it because she loved me so and was so glad to have me as her first daughter. That was a real eye opener and very sobering.

I still get irritated sometimes but I try to think how much my parents had to do to raise me, keep me from destroying things within my little person reach, answer my probably stupid questions, etc.

You're in a role reversal situation now. Have you tried just sitting down and talking to her about these issues?
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