I have been my dads live in caregiver for several years. If he should die before me would I be able to keep the home? - AgingCare.com

I have been my dads live in caregiver for several years. If he should die before me would I be able to keep the home?

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antoniette
Maybe you could check with local churches about help getting repairs or modifications to house. OR, check with social workers--they usually have resource lists for all kinds of helps--I got lists like that from our local Welfare Office.
Some of the welfare offices might list those resource people and agencies online.
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my father lives in caregiver asstist home. i need to find out what forms i need to get the house repair so he can come home
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BTW...my Gma was NOT competant--but the crooked lawyer and the brother in law managed to fake it good enough to get by. Dad could have contested it, but, he stated he "didn't want to appear greedy". He figured, he never had it, so wouldn't miss it. Never mind that he could surely have used it to help him stay healthier--his health failed prematurely, and he could not afford good enough medical care.
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Siblingrivalry--if you want a recording to count AT ALL, it has to be a videotape, and witnessed by others who are present while it is being done.
It will not stand alone, as far as I have been told.
It has to be documented what meds she is on at the time, whether [as you know as an RN] those meds are usually taken but she's off them temporarily so her mind can clear, and some kind of statement by a Doc about her ability to think cohesively at least while off the meds that affect her mind.
OR, you can find an unscrupulous lawyer like my Gma's brother in law did, who assisted him to make a new will that was so tight, none could change a thing. He wrote in clauses that said if anyone contested it in the slightest, the entire thing would go to the Boy Scouts of America, for instance. So family got token bits, her home was liquidated even though she wanted Dad to have it [her only "child"], the brother in law got a lion's share, and the rest, ultimately, went to the Boy Scouts.
Sucks. But that is what happens sometimes.
Make a tight paper trail! You must have witnesses who can attest to your having to quit a good job to care for your Mom, and, who will sign statements [in ADVANCE!] that you do all the caregiving.
Your State should have some laws that protect your interests, too...might try checking into those.
Surprisingly, if income levels are right, the welfare department might be helpful guidance.
Or, if you have some kind s Area Agency on Aging.
Prayers for you!
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I wonder if a voice recording of the parent would be admissable? I have a similar situation when my Mom was taken to a lawyer and she had just had a nervous breakdown and was admitted to a mental facility. She has since then become better becauase I took her off of all of the psych meds. My demon sister removed all of the gold from the house put her name on the house (and mine) but I do ALL OF THE WORK. I have taken care of her for 6 years and tolerated a lot of abuse. I am a RN and gaave up a good job. My Father asked me to take care of her and my sister wanted her thrown in a home. My sister is very controlling and greedy and needs to be put in her place. In this case, I think a new will needs to be made up. My Mother clearly does NOT want my sister to have all of her possessions and I do NOT want my sister in this house once my Mother passes away. It is truly ashame that people lie, cheat and steal to get what they want against their parents wishes! I have sacrificed a good portion of my life to care for my Mom and I will not sit by while the vulture flies in!
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Already talked to a couple of lawyers on this. NO ONE, not even the Executor or POA, can change the will as long as it was done when the person was competent. His POA is tight with his lawyer, but I have one who will fight her to the death if necessary! I also have a lot of friends who know his lawyer and will testify against her for me because they just do not like her. And I ALWAYS keep my paperwork, letters, etc. as I've learned the hard way on that one!!
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Beware: even when a "tight" will or Trust ahs been done, all it takes is ONE attitudinal relative to undo that...EVEN when the elder is more than a little incompetent...all it takes is finding an unscrupulous lawyer to help form remake a will to that relative;s bidding, and get teh elder to sign it...I have seen some really really poor signatures, and known clearly that the elder was not competant, yet, the court honored it. My step-parent was stuck having to untangle one of those--the best she could do, was get executorship taken away from teh rotten lawyer's rotten son--the lawyer who helped that bad relative had died, leaving a bunch of "plum" estates like that, to his son, also a lawyer.
The State was not able to restore the original estate, because by then, even that brother in law had died, so there were none of the original people who put that newer will together, alive to talk about it. The State Bar Assoc could only go by what was in writing in the newer will. A HUGE travesty.
But at least, my step parent got the little Executor's stipend, which was better than nothing. Everything else was lost.
Take care of your paper trails!
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Depends on what his will says. If the will was done before he was incompetent, the lawyers will use that. Otherwise, if there's no will, then get your own lawyer and find out as I have this same problem.
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In Ohio if you are living and caring for them full time in your parents home for 3 years prior to Medicaid and there is no valid will or trusts the house deed will go into your name when their assets are gone.The state set it up this way because too often one sibling took on the full financial,personal care burden while the other siblings walked away free yet still were entitled to a cut.It was also set up this way so a nursing home could not make claim for admission and the caregiver sibling who cared for them received nothing in return.There are still some very good people working for the government who are trying to right many wrongs that have taken place over the years.In my case the home value dropped like a rock and never put a dent in my time or personal money spent but that was never the intent in the first place (material things).Love your parents and protect them but watch your back ! Know your rights so you can protect your parents and yourself.Many times the home is the only remaining asset the caregiver has because they gave up everything they had to care for their parents.Some even sell the home to care for their parents and end up with nothing.I would have a talk with a experienced elder law attorney in the state you are currently living in asap.
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Does your Dad have a Trust, does he have his mind, does he have a will, does he need a fulltime caretaker, do you have siblings? Just living with him helping out is different than giving care that he cannot live without. A lawyer is free first time, I would definately check it out. You should be compensated now if not, there is so much to this a lot of "if" "ands" and "buts". Good Luck!
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