How do I keep my distance from Mom from emotionally?

Her memory is failing, she does not remember the calls. My MIL will tell me she hasn't heard from her daughter, when in fact they went to lunch the day before. She probably only needs to see her primary. The rest are just having fun with insurance. Get her to the Senior Center once a week.

How do you keep your distance emotionally? That's tough, isn't it? For one thing, it should help to keep your distance physically. It sounds like you are doing that, for example by calling every other day. Perhaps even that is too much.

It sounds like a word is missing from your post. Who is your mother providing food and financial help to? Does that person live with her? Does he normally take her to appointments?

Does she expect you to take her to her appointment?

Provide us a little more information for more specific suggestions.

My mother is 88 years old. Walks with a walker. She had stage 3 kidney disease, COPD, High blood pressure, and anemia. She lives alone in her house. Once a week a woman comes to do laundry and light housework. She used to take mom to doctor appointments but she charges $75 to do it. Recently mom has gotten my brother to take her to some of her doctor appointments to save the money. My mother is constantly going to her various doctors trying to stay has healthy as possible for my brother. He is middle aged. And has a personality disorder. I think they are co-dependent. Mom sure is. This is complicated. Mom has commercial property that was dad's business (he died six years ago). She is finally trying to sell, but there was fire and things done wrong to fix up place and not worth sueing people that fixed place. So had to sell plus not in good neighborhood. It is a half house attached to slipcover business building. She is also paying for car insurance, gas, extra food, clothes, etc. for brother. She has lots more expences than income. Her income is small social security check. She is using savings to pay stuff a lot. Brother can't hold job is getting SSI, food stamps and rent voucher. He lives 20 minutes away from mom. He comes to stay at house Thursday afternoon and goes home Sunday night each week. Mom has the desk top computer (years old but still works). He won't help her except for emergencies, or taking to doctor or sometime getting something from drugstore or grosery. I order her groseries online and have them delivered to her. I also mail her stuff when she requests. I live 1 and 1/2 hours away. And take back roads to get to her house. Haven't driven beltway in years. We both have anxiety disorder and OCD. Both on medication. Mine helps more than mom's. She is negative, rigid, won't take advice from anyone. And treats my brother like he is a kid and she has to take care of him. She is scared he will be kicked out of apartment and be homeless. (Possible but not probable). So she wrote something to let brother live in house when she is dead. She is always anxious about having enough money for brother to pay house expences and to live when she is gone.