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After being in skilled nursing / rehab center for about 2 months, the Dr. and the NP both talked to me about taking Dad home because of expense. He is on private pay and it is very expensive. I also have a brother who has MS and is in the same facility on insurance for a recent infection and kidney stones. My brother will be coming home in the next week or so. NP said of course I could not handle both by myself(which I have been doing until my father fell in Sept.). The idea was to have private pay caregiver come everyday for both of them and it would be cheaper in the long run. I am all for my brother coming home because he is only 61, has a woman who comes and helps him in the morning and he is pretty agreeable to everything that concerns him. My Dad on the other hand has lost about 45 lbs since the fall, is pretty much in bed and does not care to eat much at all. He has been deemed as "not ready for Hospice" but I am not sure that decision would stand today. I know failure to thrive has been mentioned but he has no cancer, heart, lung, or kidney disease but he has very poor eyesight, low hearing, and of course seems very thin and frail. Part of me would like him to spend time in his home of 40yrs but I am really not sure whether that is the right thing to do right now. We would have 4 adults in the house-father, myself, brother with MS and a younger sister (52) who is getting less and less capable of helping out. The guys have been together so long, that sometimes I feel bad that they are apart now but maybe for everybody's mental health it is best?? I am really struggling as to what the next step might be. Everything changed very drastically on Sept 20, 2014 when he fell outside. My brother is having kidney stone removal this week so my focus is to get him thru that and then get him home. I am 65, retired and in pretty good health but the pressure of all of this can be quite exhausting and draining! Please forgive my rambling and I would appreciate any words of wisdom from anyone! Thanks!

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Was your father a wartime Vet? If so, call the VA or up to the Money and Legal tab and click on Veterans Assistance.
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Even in a group home with 3-4 residents they have staff - multiple staff - on duty 24/7. Think about what would happen if you got sick or hurt.

Taking care of one mother in my house was too much. I couldn't do 2-3 more. No way.
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You have got your hands full! I agree with Babalou - talk to the social worker. And also be sure to calculate YOUR needs into the equation when you're figuring out what to do. It sounds like you're the captain of this ship that is going through very difficult waters - you need to be sure YOUR needs are met in all of this. That's physical, mental and spiritual needs. Don't take care of everyone else to your own detriment.

Hugs and please keep us posted on what is going on.
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Does Dad have the funds for his care? Is the facility willing to take him as Medicaid after a certain period of private pay? Talk to the social worker at the facility about this.
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