What do I do to keep an adult diaper on my grandmother, who takes it off?

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My grandmother has Parkinson's. She is becoming bitter and doesn't want to cooperate with us, but also doesn't want to go into a nursing home. We don't want to put her in a nursing home while she is so adamantly against it, but we're at our wit's end and running out of options. The Parkinson's is not at a stage preventing mobility, she can get around with a walker perfectly well (and on and off the toilet, and so forth), when she wants to. She frequently refuses to change her Depend, even though it's wet and she's perfectly capable of changing it herself. At such times she simply refuses to get out of bed, peeing in the depend until it overflows. We then have to change her in her bed. Sometimes she permits us, sometimes she fights us. Literally fights -- hitting, scratching, biting. Other times she removes her Depend and the chuck, throwing them on the floor and refusing to let us put another one one her. Sometimes they're wet at this point, sometimes dry. Obviously, without the Depend on, she wets the bed. And without the chuck underneath her, this forces us to change not only her clothes and the chuck, but also the sheets and the mattress pad. Today when this happened, and we tried to get her out of bed to change the bed and put a new Depend on her, she fought us until she was able to lie down on the floor, and peed on the floor. Best I can tell, the peeing on the floor was on purpose. At least she claimed after the fact that it was.

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I used to do daycare for children in my house and when I had a child that would constantly take off his diaper I would put on the child over the diaper a onesie on backwards so the child couldn't reach the snaps to undo it . Look online for an adult onesie to put on backwards over the diaper. Good luck!
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It does seem that grammy def. has dementia issues as well. She also is showing signs of agitation and outbursting that needs to be controlled. I would talk to her doctor about appropriate medications. Sedatives can save the sanity of the elderly person as well as caretakers. When someone is becoming out of control and won't wear the depends - action has to be taken. I'm a strong advocate of appropriate medications and from experience it has been a God-send. As caregiver, you can monitor the effects of the meds. If she is not as agitated, she might just be more cooperative.
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Just a suggestion but you might try journaling your Grammy's behaviors. It's harder for doctors to ignore something that has been carefully documented.

A very dear friend of ours had a severe stroke 6 years ago and about 1 1l2 years ago, a dear mutual friend and I went with our friend and his wife to his appointment with the neurologist. The doctor seemed to be more reactive to the concerns of our friend's wife which she said he hadn't been before we went with them. I was also taking notes.

Also had a similar situation with our son. Doctor kept down playing our son's symptoms but when my husband and I went along with our (adult) son, the doctor seemed to be more "interested" in helping him.
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Yes, she does have the beginnings of dementia. How much of it is Parkinson's and how much is other dementia -- who knows? Her doctor doesn't seem to. From what her doctor says, I'm not sure there is "normal" Parkinson's behavior. Grammy's Parkinson's specialist says that in 5 people with Parkinson's, you'll have 5 different sets of symptoms. Perhaps Parkinson's affects different people differently, or perhaps they're not sure where the Parkinson's ends and the other issues begin. We are trying to get back in to her doctor, but that takes time. What has happened in the past is that she tells the doctor, "Oh yes, I'll get up to change my depend. Oh yes, I'll wear a depend. Oh yes, I'll get up to eat." Etc. Etc. Etc. And the doctor considers it solved, until we get in to see her the next time, and tell her that no, it's not happening. The problems with taking the depend off aren't new, but it used to be just occasionally. It has escalated since last we've seen the doctor. Grammy's refusal to get up and change her depend when wet was already a problem when last we saw the doctor, but having us change it for her seemed a doable solution at that point -- we weren't yet having problems with aggression when we did so.

In general, it's really difficult to cram a month's worth of experiences, problems, and requests for solutions into a single monthly doctor's visit with her GP. And it's even more difficult to cram 3 month's worth into a single, quarterly doctor's visit with her Parkinson's specialist.
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Does Gramdama have the beginnings of dementia? This does not sound like "normal" Parkinson's behavior. Have you discussed this with her doctor?
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