My Mom is 84 and has severe copd. She had heart surgery 6 years ago and was not able to go home after a 4 month rehab so I found an assisted living facility (researched tons, moved her in, managed the clean out and sell of her house etc). That first year I was visiting her in the hospital 4-5 times a week and then in the assisted living facility 2-3 times a week. I was afraid she was going to die and I wanted that time with her... well here we are 5 years later I am just tired.
She has gotten progressively worse and while she does not live with me, I am really the only family she has locally so everything is on me. I run her errands weekly for things she needs , manager her bills, orders from amazon, take her out to lunch every so often etc.
I work full time and have 3 kids - 2 in competitive club sports and I am feeling so resentful these days.
She was in the hospital in March and then again last month and now she is in rehab and we are deciding if and when she can go back to assisted living but I’m back to visiting her or dropping things buy 4-5 times a week and I’m exhausted.
I have one brother who lives 2.5 hours away who visits occasionally but that is it.
I'm sad and tired and work out and feel so guilty.
Her lung doctor told me last week that she is very very severe but at the same time can hang on like this for a long time and to see her decline is killing me - both emotionally and physically.
and if I have one more person tell me I should just be glad to have my mother still on this earth - I’m going to lose my mind.