My husband fell and broke his elbow and ulna. He is in the rehabilitation center now after surgery. I always thought he would just "die" of a heart attack. I did not anticipate this situation.
He can't move at all, he is on a 2 person assist, with a hoyer lift. He wears diapers now.
I am still working, and this is just too much. I am filling out paperwork for LTC now, and it is just sad. Just us. I know I can't manage him at home. He weighs 250.
Your husband is likely suffering from hospital delirium after breaking his elbow, ulna and having general anesthesia. He may improve quite a bit after rehab once he regains his equilibrium. Give him time. He's 85 and cannot bounce back like he once did. None of us can. If he gets back to his old self again, you can always move him back home. Think of it like that.
Good luck to you.
I visit him every day. And it just depresses me more everyday. His sister, who lives 1800 miles away says he should come home. Thanks. I may take tomorrow off.
sad
ironic
gut wrenching
yes, even laughable
sometimes all at the same time
Sometimes something happens that forces us to do something that we have put off or neglected.
Getting POA documents is something that many put off sometimes until it is to late.
I am glad that he is in agreement with the LTC.
I am glad that you know your limits. This will help you manage what you can and understand what you can not manage for his safety and yours.
See what happens. but it is up to you as to what you can and can not do, and what you will and will not do.
There is no "right or wrong"
You'll be able to laugh about that huge cast after it's gone.
If it helps, try not to focus on the equipment: diapers or lifting machine.
Poo & pee are just natural body systems & incontinence-wear, pads etc are just practical ways to manage it, A Hoyer lift is easier on your husband that being pulled & pushed by staff.
I can feel sad with you. No-one would choose to need that stuff.
Try, when ready, to look for tiny moments you can be graceful for.
I was thankful the nursing staff washed my Dad in bed. He was embarrassed at the start, but then grateful & accepting.
Stick here, everyone will help answer any of your questions, doing what you need to do, and try to help you through this horrible adjustment.
🫂🙏💕
I am so sorry this has happened to you and your husband.
Not to be able to move at all sounds like more than a broken elbow and ulnar. I know this is a huge shock. I hope he is not in pain.
How old is your DH? Even a very small person would be difficult to manage as he is now. Please be careful and take care of yourself and let us know how you both are doing.