He became violent and now believes he is on a ship and they are loading ammunition.

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Aw, sweet lady. I understand how you feel. We’re from the era where when you got married, you became an extension of your husband. He is your life and now you don’t even understand who he is. You’re alone and like I am, a “pseudo-widow”. Life for us sure isn’t like the one those Senior Citizens on the television ads lead, is it? My husband is bedridden and I do all for him but feed him. We go nowhere and do nothing. My last meal in a restaurant was at Mickey D’s with my grandsons in their playroom. That was last October.

Its ok if you want to ask your doc for some Xanax to help with the anxiety. It won’t make you an addict. And, might you consider a cat or dog (rescue of course) for companionship. Of course not to take your hubby’s place, but someone to talk to who will listen without judgement.

Good luck ❤️
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It sounds like you are still adjusting. It must be quite stressful. I hope that sharing and posting at places like this will help. Maybe, as you adjust, you'll sleep better, And, if you've been his caregiver for a long time, I might get a checkup to make sure you're okay.
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You are grieving this change in your life and the loss of your husband as he used to be along with all the hopes and plans you had for your golden years, it will take time. ((hugs))
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