Does anyone just need to go somewhere and be alone? - AgingCare.com

Does anyone just need to go somewhere and be alone?

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I am a live-in caregiver for my mom 30 hours a week and when other caregivers come in there is constant chatter upstairs and i can't take it anymore...

Today I am taking a day trip to be by myself and get some peace and quiet...I was going to go with a meetup group of strangers but that would be another form of 'noise' i can't handle right now.

Does anyone just want to run away if only for a few hours?

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Absolutely! The only way I can say even somewhat sane is to have "alone time." I absolutely must have quiet for a time each day to do my own form of meditation and just get in touch with myself.

I know how hard that is in a situation such as yours. It's not easy in mine, either. Some days I don't get "my time" but I get up extra early each morning in the unfailing attempt to do so.

Please consider your time alone a priority. Even if only for a few hours. Longer would be better but if that's not possible make some arrangement so that you can have a reasonable amount of quiet to spend the way you choose.

Your are not alone. We may not all choose to do the same thing with the time, but most of us desperately need it. If we don't take care of ourselves no one else will and we may not be able to take care of them, either.

Blessings, my friend. Do what is good for you to the best of your ability.
Carol
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I have found that by taking a week or two of vacation away from here - like Hawaii or Colorado - makes me realize what real life is like without a care of worrying about bedridden mom or dad. About 3 days before I have to fly back home, I get major depression because I don't want to come back home. That is the ONLY drawback about taking a Real Vacation from Caregiving.

When I have a few hours of free time, I usually go to the Mall for window shopping, or reading my book in the food court. Sometimes, the Mall has some kind of program happening (Zumba dancing, navy band, high school skits, etc...) I just go there and watch, laugh with strangers. I find myself striking up conversations with complete strangers while watching these programs. Have a normal conversation with people that have nothing to do with aches/pains and just marveling on the performers.

But most times, I prefer to find a corner table and read my book.
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Gladimhere,

we hired an agency for the rest of the time so I work mornings and evenings...i am SO GRATEFUL to have time for myself...i hope you can carve out me time while she's at the day care?

mindingourelders,

thank you for your feedback😊 i haven't been here in months and appreciate knowing others struggle with this. As we all know, we can't take care of them if we don't recharge!

I was planning to go on a day trip with a group of 15 strangers but quickly realized I need the time alone with nature.

I hope both of you take the time you need today doing what you love😊

blessings
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mice may not get alz but humans dont get a speeding steel bar slammed across their skull at 400 mph either . everything seems to be some sort of a
tradeoff ..
my caregiving days have ended, and parenting , and all my time is time for myself . i dont care for it at all . i somehow always enjoyed doing nice things for other people . i think sowing good things comes back around so ill bet a new challenge and passion will cross paths with me someday . the mouse with his head splattered in a mouse trap says all there is to say about being sneaky and devious ..mice have plenty to forage its just easier living in someone elses home and stealing . i saw my ceiling snake yesterday . he doesnt view me as a threat and hes right . i keep wood in the stove all winter , he makes mice disappear .. see , ive already found someone who needs a trade arrangement with me .
vilhelm grimm 2014
still a pretty uneventful century aside from putin's posturing in the bathroom mirror ..
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Im sitting in my car right now just so I can get some quiet and be alone. I spend a lot of time sitting in here. Sometimes I wish I could just drive far away and not come back.
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smitty, pure heaven would be a long weekend by myself! No Noise, No Chatter.... If you are live-in for your Mom how do you manage just 30 hours a week? IMHO this is a 24/7/365 job, I cannot leave at night because of the chance of wandering. I take Mom to a day program, but that is less than 30 hours a week, and have a caregiver come in all day Saturday, 8 hours, so I can regroup, even if just a bit.
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Smitty, even on off hours today I am going to a seminar, yup you guessed about dementia.
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Carol,
It was a very good presentation on dementia. One of the presenters was Huntington Potter. He has led the Down Syndrome and Alzheimer's research being conducted at the University of Colorado. Learned something about mice. They do not develop Alzheimer's Disease. Rather they have to inject them so they can perform their research. ;)
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Yes. I would dearly love to have a six-week vacation. From my parents, and my own family too. But I couldn't afford to hire my replacement. So on and on I trudge. Some day I might just outlive them. Then I can rest (and eat ice cream for breakfast).
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I have always been an early riser, thank goodness because that is my alone time and I treasure it. When it gets near time for them to get up I begin feeling anxious. When one of them gets up earlier than usual I feel cheated! Once in a while I take a weekend & go to Georgia to visit my sons but then get depressed on Sunday knowing what is waiting for me. Communing with nature is good. I know of some waterfalls I would like to see but have not made it yet. Just getting out to run errands is somewhat liberating. I am a compassionate person & used to feel guilty about my thoughts & feelings about them when they are being especially nasty. Since I found this forum I no longer feel that way. After all, we caregivers are human beings, too.
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