My Father (95 years old) is moving to my house next week and to make a long story short, has been "on board" with this plan for about a year now. After two hospitalizations for sepsis and both involving mental confusion and a big decline in short term memory (some returned but still a concern), he agreed with his physician, that he should no longer be living alone and independently in his home (of 59 years). He has been widowed for 6 years, and until recently openly grieved my mother.
My concern today is that now that he is looking at this move which is only 10 days away, he has begun to express to us that he is not sure he can do it, he is very worried about leaving his home and wonders what he will do all day.
Since Christmas, my sister's and brother's in law and my husband and I have been staying with him as his long term care insurance does not cover much because he is still highly functioning and can dress, bather, fix simple meals etc. independently. He has considered living in a "home" or facility but after touring several made the decision that moving to live with my husband and I (now that our 4 children are grown and no longer living in our home). We live about 45 minutes away from his home town, so we can still bring him to church services, keep his current doctors, etc.
His day to day activities now don't involve much other than his ADL's and reading, or watching TV or just wandering around his house looking at things and occasionally he writes short stories on his computer. We also do a lot of jigsaw puzzels together. (in my mind, he can do almost all of these things in my home, except just he won't be in his familiar environment to browse through things we may not have brought with him)
I have assured him that we will bring his computer, books, movies, TV and anything else he wants to have. He gardens, and I told him that we will be able to start a garden soon as well and I was looking for his help or at least supervision with that.
He expresses deep gratitude for the "sacrifice" my husband and I are making to bring him to our home, but states he will just miss his home so much and that it will really be hard.
At this point, we have transferred all his mail, ADT health alarm services, newspapers, etc. to come to our house, his TV, internet, phone services have been transferred to ours to start next week.
My sisters and in -laws and husband and I agree that we cannot keep taking turns living with him as that has been the sacrifice. I am feeling guilty though because his dream would be to stay in his house until he dies. He is healthy and as that is not imminent (thankfully), we all believe that we need to go ahead with this plan, and hoping that the anticipation of the move is worse than it will be once he gets there. .
We have assured him that if he is miserable, we will look into other options but for now we all want him to "try' this arrangement.
He is having some surgery next week (removal of a skin cancer spot on his ear) and is to come home with me following that procedure. ( I am a nurse and will be helping him with the bandage changes etc. that will be needed afterwards.)
SO! I am looking for reassuring word, or words of advice for what I can do or say to help him with this transition. Thank you.