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How has caregiving made you aware of making your personal last wishes known?


How many of you have asked your spouse what they would like?

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I have a will, while I can't say it is a living will, while caregiving was not the reason for me to set this up, it was inbred in me growing up to always have a plan and then a back up plan, always be prepared.
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Reply to thingsarecrazy8
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As a nurse I have had an advanced directive and Trust and Will done for many many years. I have witnessed firsthand how quickly life can change.
Again, because of being a nurse the advanced directive is very complete, refusing such things as Renal Dialysis and artificially administer nutrition. I have discussed all my wishes with all of my family members.
Interesting topic for discussion, this. I think many on Forum will be up to date, but that is perhaps because we have experience of all of this. More and more hopsitals and doctors are asking patients to have Advanced Directives. As to Wills and Trusts, I do wonder what proportion of population over 50 have this in place.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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We did ours 2 years ago and need to re-visit them now that retirement is looming. It's nice to have everything in one place.

No plan IS a plan. I have been pretty straightforward about what I want, Dh doesn't care and assumes he will go first and I can handle it.

We used a lawyer we really trusted and it was worth every cent. He had ideas and ways of planning that will give the kids the most inheritance, if we don't require the principal of our investments to live on (LTC). Our kids are all far better off than we are, financially, and expect nothing.

I have filled out my Advanced Directive, DH refuses to do so (again, putting this all on me) and so rather than argue with him, I just figure I'll deal with that when the time comes.

I need to pay for the niches for our cremains and the cremation itself. I've planned my 'service' and again, DH is leaving his all up to me.

This is a great gift you can give your kids. I remember my FIL's dying and the mess it was to sort through his half done paperwork---what a nightmare.
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Reply to Midkid58
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NeedHelpWithMom Sep 21, 2020
Thanks, Mid.

I was wondering if an attorney is the way to go. I did not have an attorney for mom’s.

Geeeez, what would your hubby do without YOU? He is blessed to have you!

Yes, I do want this in place for us and the children.
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We did the whole package -- trust, wills, advance medical directives, POAs when our kids were small. Long before caregiving.
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Reply to MJ1929
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Absolutely and with copies on file at my local hospital, my doc's office, and my primary contact (my best friend).

Early on in the military they push for everyone to have a will. After seeing so many young people dying from various reasons, having all end of life items complete and current is a laser focus of mine.
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Reply to MountainMoose
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Made a mistake, thought NHWM posted about a will, I certainly do have a living will and so does the rest of my family that live with me.
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Reply to earlybird
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I updated my Will, my Financial POA, my Health Care Representative and my Advanced Directive 5 years ago.

My Mum updated her documents about 4 years ago, but plans to update them again as my step dad died 2 years ago.

I am POA and Executrix for Mum and I am very aware of what level of medical intervention she would want. I also know that she has prepaid for her cremation and a Memorial service would be held at her Church.

Me, I also plan to be cremated, but I have not prepaid for it yet. I am not religious, so a memorial service in a church is not important to me. I would rather a catered picnic for friends and family.

My brother is POA and Executor for Dad. I have no idea what Dad's final wishes are. Luckily we had a huge 90th birthday party for him in 2019. People got to share their memories and stories and it was a lovely event.
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Reply to Tothill
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I have a living will with a specific request....no transplant unless I personally give consent. I choose not to switch one chronic disease for another, nor do I have an interest in the imunosupressing drugs. My HPOA will follow my orders, but it is an extra guarantee that I do not want extraextradonary means to prolong my suffering.
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Reply to MACinCT
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NeedHelpWithMom Sep 21, 2020
Nor do I. I don’t want my life prolonged either.
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I found a wonderful Elder Law Attorney who created all the legal documents that I had needed, and she will call any time there is a change in the Federal or State law so we can tweak any of the documents.

When I noticed my parents legal documents were older than dirt, I convinced them to see my Attorney and get their paperwork all current. With a stoke of luck, everything got signed as a few months later my parents had medical issues where they would no longer have been able to make any legal changes.
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Reply to freqflyer
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All of this is so important for all of us to have set in place, for parents and ourselves.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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