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We managed to find a handicapped bathroom. I had a wash cloth, soap, and another pair of Depends tucked into his back wheelchair . But it was awful. It was all over, even on his back. I had to throw out his outer shorts, t shirt, and socks. It took so long to clean him up, including the bathroom. I gagged several times. This happened last time at the airport just as we were about to enter the plane. (had to miss our flight.) Our son tells me to not leave the house until he has a bowel movement. But he never knows when this is going to happen. This has happened so many times and I just cannot deal with it anymore. Now I have decided to not leave the house with him anymore. He will be homebound. But I have to go shopping so many times, when I come back, he lost it and oh what a mess. He cannot walk to the bathroom. I really do not think anyone is in the terrible situation I am. I know I am sorry for him but at this point, I am more sorry for me. Am I selfish and self absorbed at this point?

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Hi Happy, yes this is terrible and I’m sorry. Do you know why he has these episodes of loose bowels? My thought is that if this looseness is caused by diet or meds maybe it could be remedied, maybe the occurrences of bowel incontinence won’t be so horrific to deal with/clean up. My Mom had her first occurrence 2 weeks ago in the car so I hear you clearly.
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You are a better woman than I am, I could not do it. I would leave him home, and hire someone who is clinically trained to assist you or consider placing him in AL. You can only do so much, you are entitled to a life too. I wish you the best!
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againx100 Aug 2019
This is too much for AL to deal with.
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I am so sorry you are going through this. It is hard on you and difficult in so many ways - physical, mental and emotional - on your dear husband. Has your husband recently had an ultrasound on his abdomen to make sure something else is not going on? I am hoping that you are able to resolve this issue so that you and your husband can go out in public in comfort and confidence. Please keep us updated.
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This is so horrible! I do not think you are selfish at all. Why would you want to risk a repeat performance? Especially since it is not the first time.

When did this start? How often does it happen?

Have you talked to his doc? Is there a medication change? Diet change?

I like someone's idea about it perhaps being a food problem. There is such a thing as an elimination diet where you get down to real basics for a month and then carefully and slowly add foods back in, with time between to see if there is any reaction to the food.

A supplement we use to help keep you regular is organic psyllium husk.

Also second the idea of a probiotic.
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I have nothing to add here except I am so sorry you are going through this. I can totally imagine the nightmare of trying to deal with this with what you happened to have on hand, all alone, in the public bathroom, trying to stay strong for your husband I'm sure but being so upset. . .

I hope you find some solutions. God Bless.
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If outings are still important to both of you ask the doctor about using an anal plug, like this:

https://www.coloplast.ca/peristeen-anal-plug-en-ca.aspx#section=product-description_3
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Wow, a plug?

My mom had explosive diarrhea from her mid-30's on.

This was my line in the sand, I was not going to change diapers, I would not have been able to handle that.

I did discover something that helped, nearly eliminated the explosions. I added a probiotic, Walgreens Super Probiotic, to mom medication regimen with approval from her doctor. It worked wonders! Sometimes it worked too well.

Mom had chronic diarrhea for much of her life, did not need to push, it was literally a faucet with no off when she had to go. I had to take her to the ER a few times because she would become "constipated", I think she did not understand or brain received the signal to push. Consistency certainly was not constipation causing.

Check with doc on trying a probiotic.
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happy2stitch, does hubby drink milk, eat cheese, cottage cheese, ice cream, etc? If yes, then he could be lactose intolerant to dairy products. I Dad was having an issue with what he called "the trots" [meaning rushing to the bathroom]. Had him tried Lacaid products for milk and ice cream, even comes in a pill form, and that helped big time :)
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I am so sorry. I am the Queen of Roughage here. Did you know that metamucil and citrucel are good not only for constipation, but for bulking up stools so that if taken at night there of often one good formed BM in a.m. and that's it? Give one of the other a try. DO KNOW that metamucil will actually ferment in the bowel in a different way than Citrucel. I like the latter. For me the Metamucil causes more gas, making stools harder to hold onto for any amount of time. So try Metamucil. The less water used in it the more formed the stool. So play around with it. It may help. I am assuming he has been on no antibiotics and that he has been checked to be sure there is no C-Difficile in the stool, because if there is that is completely impossible to hold on to.
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