Follow
Share

I am 57 years old. In Sept 2020 I was terminated from my job in a Corporate Company as a Sales Operations Administrator. My job was outsourced to Manila. I have been and continue to be on Unemployment, which is going to expire soon. This has caused me great guilt to stay on unemployment, but it has made my life a lot easier right now.


Since I have been out of work, I have become a care taker for my Mother Rose, who is 90, and my Mother In-law Cheryl who is 76, and my Father in-law Rusty, who is 86. In March Rusty fell and broke his hip, he is not healing as well as the doctors would like to see. Rusty also has cancer in the kidney, colon, and the onset of Dementia, doctors have medically kept this in remission for a couple of years. Rusty and Cheryl live in their own home. I do their grocery shopping, pick up medications, and deliver to them, I take them to their doctor appts, and other appts as needed. Rusty's two sons have both passed away and my husband's brother and sister live out of state, and offer no assistance.


I also am the Medical Power of attorney for my mother Rose. She lives an hour away. She wants to stay independent, and stay in her home. I take her to all her doctor appts and other appts as needed. My sister helps to pick her up and take her to the grocery and errands etc. Since mom let her Insurance lapse in January 2021, I am organizing her medical insurance now with Retire Med IQ, which has been quite an undertaking, but there is light at the end of the tunnel now. As soon as I am able to get mom's insurance straightened up, I will need to set her up with a dentist (her teeth are falling out) she needs new dentures, and I will need to set her up to get her hearing tested and hearing aid fitted.


How do I juggle all this, and pursue a job? Two incomes is a must to make ends meet now a days!


How will my husband and I manage when I am not bringing in an income or unemployment, but I still have the role of making sure our loved ones are being taken care of?


Any advise would be most appreciated!

Find Care & Housing
https://info4seniors.org/

This is the link for your local Area Agency on Aging based on your city and state.
Contact them for a needs assessment for each of your elders and see what resources can be helpful for you as well as each parent.

You have really been fortunate to be off work with some income through unemployment while you have helped your elders with their various problems.

The pandemic has made us more comfortable with Telemed appointments and grocery and pharmacy delivery.
Dental appointments can be scheduled on weekends and off hours.

Home Health and/or Hospice provide helpful services for those who need it.

Many caregivers are long distance so out of state is difficult but not impossible.

Good luck on finding an even better position than you had before and give yourself a promotion in elder care.
Time to put your management hat on and stop doing hands on. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to 97yroldmom
Report

I've got news for you, my friend. You already have a job. In fact you have THREE jobs.

So, why are you working for free? Your mother, MIL, and FIL need to start paying for all the caregiving services they're getting.
This will help you out financially. If they had to pay a care agency to send help, or go into a facility it would probably clean them out financially.
Talk to your three 'clients' and set up a weekly or monthly payment plan for all you do for them.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to BurntCaregiver
Report

I am very sorry that you have been laid off from your job. I know that unemployment isn’t ideal. Of course, you would rather be working again. This is a temporary safety net for you. That’s all. You have not taken advantage of the system, so let go of your guilt.

Oh boy, you have your hands full!

I don’t see how you can meet all of the challenges that have and return to work. You will have to be available for interviews. Please speak to Council on Aging, doctors and a social worker to help plan for your family members to set up other arrangements for care. They may have to hire someone or enter a facility.

Best wishes to you and your family.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report

Sounds familiar - I was severanced in 2014 and it seems I'm not hireable by modern standards because I don't have a degree to show I can do what I've done (medical librarian/research associate) these past 30 years.
So I'm self-employed and serving as an unpaid personal assistant, scribe, chauffeur, house manager and cook for my mom.
I look for remote work that can be done on a flexible schedule. A RN friend who's also a caregiver suggested looking for staffing agencies that work with consultants. And increasingly there are virtual assistant opps.
It is possible to get benefits while working part-time and being self-employed means you're still building your SS.
Definitely look into assistance with your caregiving; some states pay family members but it's not a salary salary. Or use the Find Care section here to turn over the care to others. If nothing else, look into respite care and maybe a care manager.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to ravensdottir
Report

I agree with what others have suggested, for the most part. However, I would look for a part-time job only if you have either reduced benefits or you can buy into the employer's benefits package. Otherwise, you need full-time employment so you a continue to earn Social Security credits, health insurance, and preferably, vacation time. You will need these benefits for yourself either now or later!
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to caroli1
Report

Your mom and in laws need to find others to assist them. It was nice for them while it lasted but you need to go back to work. Start planning for that now.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to lkdrymom
Report

There's not enough of you to go around! You're going to have to make some choices and set some boundaries. Only so much one person can do. Taking care of your financial needs has to be a priority. They'll need to handle some of this themselves if they are able or help will have to be hired, with them paying for their own helpers.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to againx100
Report

Your family members would have to pay anyone else for the multiple jobs you’re doing for them. You can draw up a caregiver contract and be paid by them for your time. Also, consider a part time job to go with your caregiving. Looking out for your own financial future is wise
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter