It may be good to see an estate attorney to determine if anything else should or can be done to make the transition easier and to avoid any legal complications. It never hurts to check. Carol
The will should name its executor which I have seen written up joint, but to cover yourselves you really need to have your mother grant you durable and medical POA if she is competent to. If not, then one of you will need to file for guardianship.
My mom has been taking Aricept and anti depressant for several months and has been doing fairly well. My brother and sister in law are trying to have meds stopped all together. I have done research on this and have found out this is the worse thing you could for dementia patients. Do I need to get POA for medical issues even if my brother already has one?
First of all POA is only to handle affairs and all issues in need of POA's power clearly stated in papers specifcally. Wills are needed for granting wishes to be granted after death. To answer the question POA can be jointly written. I would think very carefully about this, it makes things more difficult. For example, you will need both partys to sign for accounts, checks etc. but I think you can word the papers daughter1 and/or daughter2 in that case both can take action or either. This also could be a complication, if both parties don't agree or one does something other than "in the benefit of " you are both held responsable. I am not an expert but from my experience with joint POA , I don't suggest it.
virginiajnorto, If your brother already has medical POA, then you can't get one unless your mother takes him off and gives it to you or takes him off and gives it to both of you. I would not suggest a joint POA anymore than I would suggest a joint executor of a will.
My husbands mother is incapacitated and unable to make any decisions. She has no POA, although she has a living will. Does he need to get a lawyer to set up a guardianship for her?
My mother has cirrhosis along with other health issues, for the past year her health has drastically went down hill. I dont think she will live for any extended amount of time, it is myself and 2 siblings, we all look after and help with whatever is needed although my older sister has spent more time at or with mom because she isnt employed. Actually I feel strongly its because she takes moms van to drive and lets her husband& kids, none are insured and pretty certain sister and hubby's lisence are suspended from unimsured accidents in the past. Also sister is helping herself to some of moms meds if you know what I mean.. although she gives me "good reasons" for this and only takes "a few" but past 3-4 months entire bottle just filled turns up "missing" I already know what your going to have to say to me, because im sayin g this in my head daily and its driving me nuts.. Sister says to me that she needs to get moms bills paid (mom has been in & out of hospital for months now never home more then a few days, some of this time mom is in coma due to cirrhosis ammonia levels) then sister says she had to create an online account through moms bank to "see whats what" but fails to mention to mom she did this, and my mother is old school she has no knowledge of PC use or online anything for that matter, Now this will be hard to believe, but take these above issues away for a moment and let me say my family has always been close and with my dad passing away over a yr ago my sister and I have become incredibly closer, Id say my bestfriend even then add back in the issues and here I am. I know without a shadow of doubt if I were to approach sister like I should it would blow up in seconds and divide our family, this has happened before over a different and smaller issue, since she remarried 2nd hubby who only knows how to be a crook it has honestly rubbed off on her, but she still has some of herself in there, Id have to own up to saying I, we, overlook things we know are shady from her and this is where im at, have talked some with younger sibling about this and he to had to admit he knows shes up to no good on some level, sister feels strongly that since she is the eldest child if there is any conservator or guardianship it should be her for that matter, moms health is getting to a state that we need to do something because she could go back into a coma anytime and sister is helping herself to what little mom does have and thats not much. She keeps saying homehealth will only get involved if mom no longer is able to drive, and at this point that is correct, but she could improve enough to get back to driving again she has before and only last drove 1 month ago although it was only for a few days..Ive written a chapter here and apologize for that but I guess Ive wanted to get sthis out one way or another. Bottom line here is we say nothing and it will get worse or say anything at all and it will be horrible as I can see why it would because her sibling(s) accused her of this. she will tell everyone what we did to her eith all she has done and given to mother and she has just started saying how she has given up her life for the past year as well, i;ll assure you there was a benfit to her in there somewhere. Is there some advice other then to call her right out? just hate to have the family divide and feud all we have are each other and our kids who believe it or not are all pretty close..Thanks for listening, much appreciated.
Just for the record, my sister and I share Power of Attorney duties --- my sister takes care of the finances and lives in another state. I live nearby and take my parents to the Dr so I'm in charge of everything related to healthcare. We set this up according to my parents' wishes and with the help of an attorney 3 years ago and it works quite well.
The answer depends on the law of the state where your Mom resides. State law comes from the laws passed by the state legislature, the decisions made by the courts, and the regulations written by government agencies. In my home state of Massachusetts we can have Power of Attorney authority that is exercised jointly by two people, such as two sisters. You need to talk with an elder law attorney in the state where your Mom resides. You are best protected that way, because the elder law attorney must back up the advice that they provide to you. The purpose of a POA is to get 3rd parties (banks, insurance companies, government agencies) to transact business with you on behalf of your mother. Those 3rd parties often have their own rules. Having two people with the same authority may be cumbersome. Consider successor authority, i.e. one daughter holds the power, and the other daughter steps up and acts for Mom if the first daughter can no longer serve. Getting back to the facts of your question, and this factor is really the beginning of any discussion about your situation: having had the stroke, is your mother competent to understand and sign the Power of Attorney document? If the answer to this question is YES, the Power of Attorney is possible. If the answer is NO, you would need to get the authority from a court. Again, help from an elder law attorney near your mom is necessary.
While it is not uncommon to have different agents for a durable power of attorney for health care and for finances, it is not advisable to have joint agents under a durable power of attorney for either. It will only serve to complicate things if the co-agents don't agree or if one acts inappropriately without the knowledge of the other. If there is a problem of trust that exists, I would recommend that you explore using an independent private fiduciary to serve as agent and represent your mom's best interests.
I have joint POA with my sister and it has been a nightmare. Look at your sister objectively. Does she have problems holding a job? Does she yell and scream at people when she doesn't get her way? Is or has she been on drugs? Are there multiple people she has banned from her life because of differences? Do you have to watch what you say around her for fear of 'upsetting' her.
I you answered yes, do not be joint anything with her. Don't for one minute believe that she would never turn on you like she has everyone else. The first time you don't tiptoe around her, you will find out the truth.
Guardianship is an expensive and lengthy process. Don't do it unless you have to. Are people stealing from your mom? Do you need the extra protection of a judge to help enforce the proper disposal of your mom's assets?
I have joint general power of attorney from six sisters and tow brothers to manage the property of late father, two of them died what will be the position and validity of POA in respect of shares of others mentioned in the attorney?
May I suggest Hospice services? My mom, age 86 has a brain tumor in addition to a worsening case of Alzheimer's. This tumor gives her sometimes unbearable pain. When we obtained the services of Hospice, they provided us with everything, including meds for her pain. We finally had to give her morphine, which I'm sure you know is a very restricted type of medication with strict controls. This drug was (and still is) given to mom in pill form and an oral liquid. If any drop of it or pills were missing, or couldn't be accounted for, we would face criminal drug laws and possibly worse but I'm sure Hospice services would come to an end. But it was Hospice that kept careful track of mom's drugs and if any were found missing, we would be questioned relentlessly (I know because one of the bottles fell behind a cup in the cabinet where it was kept and ... well, it was not pleasant - and the looks I got until I found it were also uncomfortable). I mention this as having someone else monitor the pills instead of you or some other family member would perhaps instill a bit of fear in your drug-loving sister. Just an idea. You have quite a burden to handle and Hospice would lift some of that off your shoulders..
I am disabled and 59 years old. I have been divorced for 7yrs. My ex husband is court ordered to pay the home equity. His name remains on the title with mine. What will happen if I must go to a nursing home. My adult children want to keep the house. I do intend to do a will very soon.
This is why my sib thinks I'm evil. Since she is the oldest she feels she the right to be POA. As far as a joint POA (which is what she has suggested now) would be like being thrown a snake pit. She has disliked me forever, unless she "needs" something from me, which has been often. Now she is just mean and screams at me all the time. This is because my mother used to send her money every month, she is 66, and I have stopped the "gravy train". I am finally getting over being hurt each time she mistreats me, but I still love her and wish things were different. I have been with mom for about 3 years without compensation, she used to come for a couple weeks to give me a break @$350. per week. The last time she was here she helped herself to $3,000 so I told her not to come back. Unless you have NEVER had any problem with the other sib, DON'T DO IT!! Money changes families and it is common, but so sad.
If my sister has set up a "joint account" with my Father what happens to it when he dies? I was told that she can keep the entire $400,000.00 because HER name is on the account.
This is a new question that is different from the OP, but I'll answer it.
Yes, your sister can keep a joint account. Are you sure it is a joint account with right of suvivorship or is her name on the account as someone who can sign for it? There is a difference.
Unsure if you can also obtain POA if your brother already has POA. An attorney would be able to advise you of this, but I do not think it would be possible since he already is. Try to speak to your brother along with your mom's doctor to educate your brother on how it might affect your mom.
I believe that it would be safer for all concerned if both children were p.o.a. unless one has had a criminal back round.The reason I say this is with both involved then there is no doubt that everything is being done correctly, when only one is p.o.a. and refuses to inform other siblings and even parents by showing bank statements, and any other important information it gives the impression they are hiding something. Even when the attorney has requested that the sole p o a shows these documents to the rest of the family and to always stay in communication about all matters and does not follow though on what was told. it is a tough enough situation to go though when parents get older the added problems of the person that is p o a leaves doubts in others minds makes it worse. including gifts that are to be given out before the parents death and a p o a has possession of these items and refuses to give them to whom they are meant to go to, being a p o a does not mean executor
cafeomp, there are no gifts before death. A POA is expected to conserve the assets for the parents' care, and keep all information confidential. Medicaid will NOT pay for a nursing home if there are gifts of any kind. Maybe you should read up on "Medicaid Penalties" and "POA responsibilities"
Pamstegma, I believe first you should have asked is Medicaid paying for their stay. And that answer is no , the gifts, which was instructed by their lawyer stated that any gifts are to be given while they are still alive and as soon as possible.Thank you for your input , however, you should include all possible situations that may apply
My brother was named execurot in the will. My dad passed away and my brother is using his bank account as his own. Is there any way for my sister and I to stop this?
This is an entirely new question and really needs to be on a new thread. However, I'll ask this. Was your bother's name on your dad's account as a joint owner with right of survivorship? If so, there is really nothing you can do. If he was not, then your dad's account should have been changed into an account called "the estate of your dad" and outstanding bills and debts paid from it before any money is disbursed by the executor.
Carol
If your brother already has medical POA, then you can't get one unless your mother takes him off and gives it to you or takes him off and gives it to both of you. I would not suggest a joint POA anymore than I would suggest a joint executor of a will.
She has no POA, although she has a living will. Does he need to get a lawyer
to set up a guardianship for her?
The purpose of a POA is to get 3rd parties (banks, insurance companies, government agencies) to transact business with you on behalf of your mother. Those 3rd parties often have their own rules. Having two people with the same authority may be cumbersome. Consider successor authority, i.e. one daughter holds the power, and the other daughter steps up and acts for Mom if the first daughter can no longer serve.
Getting back to the facts of your question, and this factor is really the beginning of any discussion about your situation: having had the stroke, is your mother competent to understand and sign the Power of Attorney document? If the answer to this question is YES, the Power of Attorney is possible. If the answer is NO, you would need to get the authority from a court. Again, help from an elder law attorney near your mom is necessary.
I you answered yes, do not be joint anything with her. Don't for one minute believe that she would never turn on you like she has everyone else. The first time you don't tiptoe around her, you will find out the truth.
Guardianship is an expensive and lengthy process. Don't do it unless you have to. Are people stealing from your mom? Do you need the extra protection of a judge to help enforce the proper disposal of your mom's assets?
I think that your question need to be a new question on its own thread. It will stand a better chance of being answered then.
This is a new question that is different from the OP, but I'll answer it.
Yes, your sister can keep a joint account. Are you sure it is a joint account with right of suvivorship or is her name on the account as someone who can sign for it? There is a difference.