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Mom over spends, overdraws her checking and allows others to use her debit card. I'd like to help her manage her spending without having to take over or "take away" her ability to be in charge of her finances. It is after all her money. I saw a product online that seemed like it would meet our needs but now can't find the links for it.

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I have a similar situation. I got Suze Orman's The Approved Card in my name with a secondary card in my daughter's name. It allows me to keep funds on my card/or savings and then put those funds immediately onto the secondary card as needed to monitor her spending. There are no overdraft fees because she can only spend what is on the card. Every time she make a purchase I get an immediate alert on my phone or email telling me how much she spent and what her balance is. The only cost to me is $3 per month for my card. I have had it for 2 years and both of us love it.
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PS - The card can be used to pay bills and for the same purpose as a checking account
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I kept saying the same thing, about it being 'her money'. But she needs that money for her care once she can no longer care for herself. I finally woke up when $75k was 'borrowed'. The conservatorship hearing should be within the month. I waited too long because I was trying to protect her independence. But that money would have paid for her care for a couple of years. I don't know if the judge will appoint me conservator. I kind of wish he wouldn't but it will be much cheaper for Mom if I do it instead of a lawyer.
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American Express has a reloadable card, with NO fees at all. I think it is called the PASS card. My 20-yr old uses it to control his spending and it is fantastic. We set it up so that money gets loaded onto it every Friday, he spends as he wishes, and when no more on it, then he has to wait until the next week. Low balance alerts can be received text or email, as can anything purchased over a specific dollar amount. This might be another option. I especially liked it because there are no fees at all ... no setup fee, no reload fees, no monthly fees. Granted, not all places accept AmEx; however, that to me is a minor inconvenience.
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I opened a separate checking account (linked to joint account so no fees) and gave husband debit card on this account (set up account for no overdrafts - when $300 per month was gone - there was no more until next month).
He didn't want to spend more than $300 per month - so this satisfied him as he realized he had spent money and would have to wait until next month for more.
Also, stopped "friend" who was hitting him up for money from getting anything.
Seems $300 was "chump change" for this "friend" so disappeared when that's all there was.
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Get a card you pre-load with a reasonable amount, and tell her not to give it to anyone. I don't think you are being overly cautious with her assets by trying to keep her from over-spending. I have had to self-police and just closed three credit cards for 2014. That's my best solution for not having any extra bank charges. They are wealthy enough!
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We had the same issue with our son, who lives in a 'recovery house' for young men with substance abuse problems. We don't want him to have too much cash, but he does need money for essentials and such. My husband found a local bank where he opened up a checking account and declined the 'bounce protection' they offered. This way, when our son runs out of money he can't incur those 'bounce protection' fees the banks love to hit you with. Also, it has the added benefit of being able to go online and see where he is spending his money. It is working out well for us and him.
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I have used a US Bank, VISABUXX card. It states it is for teenagers, but have used it for several elderly. You can add funds immediately if you have a US Bank Account or Credit card. I don't think there are any costs. You load it with so much and they can't spend more - it will be declined. It can be used anywhere a VISA card is accepted.
Shay
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Thanks to everyone for your suggestions. She has always had trouble saying "no" to the people she loves, and I don't think this is is a crime, it's just that she has less money now and more forgetfulness. I want to help her make the money she has get to where it really has to go (bills and groceries) first, while still leaving her some dignity about the process. While she is really struggling with this money business, she's a long way from senile, and I have learned the hard way that I cannot "make" her do anything, "stop" her from doing anything, or "trick" her into doing something, even if it would be in her best interest.
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You may want to look into True Link Card. It's a prepaid Visa card with some extra features, designed with vulnerable seniors in mind. It's fairly new so I don't know anyone who's tried it, but I saw the company present at an event and it seemed like it might be useful for your situation. Good luck!
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