My mom likes to go out, so every Monday I tell her, if you want to go out today, you need to take a shower. She then agrees but always tells me "I already took one yesterday." Yeah, sure!
My 88 year old mother would suddenly get extreme body aches and exhaustion when the subject of a shower was mentioned. It wasn't until a friend asked if she had had some sort of trauma associated with the shower that I remembered she had fallen a few years back into the shower, broke the door and punctured a rib.
Well, I installed a new height adjustable shower head that can also be hand held. I also installed a couple of suction cup handles to help her balance while inside and stepping out. Once I managed to get her in, she did great. Very little complaining now, although we still have our days...but maybe she did have a feeling of insecurity.
I also purchased a nice long terry cloth robe which I put on her before she gets out of the shower. This seems much easier than trying to have her stepping out soaking wet to towel dry her and she doesn't have to get dressed right away if she prefers to rest a bit first.
Another thing that I mention and we talk about during each shower is what would she do if she didn't have me to help her. I let her know that showering is not an option and that if I couldn't or she wouldn't let me, then we would have to hire someone (she didn't know) to come in and do it. That seems to help her realize she's got the best thing going for her and it's in her best interest to just cooperate.
This is not to say that every bath experience is perfect...but she is pretty much resigned to the fact that the sooner we do it, the sooner she can sit back down and be done for another week! I also realize my Mother is pretty easy going and I'm very lucky that she does cooperate with me when I'm insistent on something. My thoughts and prayers are with each and every one of our fellow caregivers out there.
My mom is immobile and refuses to bathe as well. I have been using handy wipes to keep her clean. They work wonderful! I do it in stages, one day I will do her top half, and then I'll do her bottom half a different day. She seems to handle it better that way.
I have noticed for myself that taking a shower is like going to the gym for a work out. It can be very exhausting for many seniors. Especially if one has memory issues, mobility issues, etc.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. I almost slipped the other day.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
Phew !!
If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.
Have you seen the YouTube videos of Teepa Snow? I first learned about her here on this website. I binge watched her mini video series (all numbered) and learned lots of things.
1. Teepa Snow but not the one I wanted (which is about 10 years ago). https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IxwJgDg3bYU
2. Dementia Sherpa. Close to what I was looking for Teepa’s older video - explains why they’re resistant to bathing. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bhale-uqY40
My mom hasn't bathed in years. She does a quick once over with a wash cloth. Its not pretty. Do you have safety bars, a seat in the shower? I did all of that and she still wouldn't bathe/shower. She is in NH now for 3 weeks. Hoping they can get her to. She thinks everyone wants to see her naked. Uh noooooo. I think this is a common problem and I truly feel your pain.
My mom won't shower/bathe either; I get her shower wipes from Amazon; also shampoo wipes. Run $6.00-$10.00 for a dozen; she sits on the commode and uses them.
Well, I installed a new height adjustable shower head that can also be hand held. I also installed a couple of suction cup handles to help her balance while inside and stepping out. Once I managed to get her in, she did great. Very little complaining now, although we still have our days...but maybe she did have a feeling of insecurity.
I also purchased a nice long terry cloth robe which I put on her before she gets out of the shower. This seems much easier than trying to have her stepping out soaking wet to towel dry her and she doesn't have to get dressed right away if she prefers to rest a bit first.
Another thing that I mention and we talk about during each shower is what would she do if she didn't have me to help her. I let her know that showering is not an option and that if I couldn't or she wouldn't let me, then we would have to hire someone (she didn't know) to come in and do it. That seems to help her realize she's got the best thing going for her and it's in her best interest to just cooperate.
This is not to say that every bath experience is perfect...but she is pretty much resigned to the fact that the sooner we do it, the sooner she can sit back down and be done for another week! I also realize my Mother is pretty easy going and I'm very lucky that she does cooperate with me when I'm insistent on something. My thoughts and prayers are with each and every one of our fellow caregivers out there.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. I almost slipped the other day.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
Phew !!
If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the wipes.
Also, some grab handles.
Thank you. CM.
1. Teepa Snow but not the one I wanted (which is about 10 years ago).
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IxwJgDg3bYU
2. Dementia Sherpa. Close to what I was looking for Teepa’s older video - explains why they’re resistant to bathing.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bhale-uqY40
I should stop trying to get her to bathe, then, if I were you. What will happen if you drop the subject completely?
Do you have safety bars, a seat in the shower? I did all of that and she still wouldn't bathe/shower. She is in NH now for 3 weeks. Hoping they can get her to. She thinks everyone wants to see her naked. Uh noooooo. I think this is a common problem and I truly feel your pain.