It's a huge adjustment but I'll figure it out. But my son gets very frustrated and angry whenever I forget something or make an error. I feel humiliated and hopeless. My memory isn't likely to get better so am I just supposed to accept his harsh judgment -- a constant reminder that I am less than I used to be and very unworthy. It hurts like hell.
You are not the problem: your son now needs to educate himself about cognitive decline and memory loss. There are strategies to use so that your interactions are more peaceful and productive. I understand him totally, as I was him not long ago. It takes a while to change how we relate to our LOs with this issue... I've built up 66 years of a pattern with my Mom, seeing her one way only and expecting her to be a certain way. It will take him time to practice thinking before he reacts or responds to you. He will get there eventually, but he needs to be intentional about it.
Teepa Snow has some very good videos on YouTube you can refer him to. May you both gain peace in yours on this journey.
I finally had to remove my father from that toxic living environment, and he was so much happier. He lived in Florida for 8 years with me, enjoying life.
I'm sorry. (Memories are still fresh.) My point is, the constant reminder is not suitable for your decline. You need support to live your best life during these upcoming years. My father lived with dementia for 16 years, and he did not pass from side effects of the illness.
You can live a happy and healthy life surrounded by positive people who reinforce you. Do you have options, and if not, would your son be open to counseling to understand the illness?
And if he can't/won't do that, then perhaps you may have to tell him not to contact you until he can be more understanding, as you deserve so much better.
May God bless you and keep you.
My dad started out with MCI 16 yrs ago. He is now in a nursing home with Alzheimers. Over the 16 yrs he has lost the ability to do a lot of things. But he is still my dad. I love him as much now as I ever have. When I’m having a bad day, I can visit him & may only get a smile, but it goes straight through me & makes everything better in that moment. He still has that power.
So please remember you are valuable. Your son hopefully will learn more about mci & dementia & be able to handle it better going forward.
Best wishes to you both as you deal with this new reality.
What we may lose in memory as we get older is often balanced by increased patience and kindness, You have a lot to offer. Find a place that recognizes that, if your son cannot accept your changes. I am sure he loves you, but he is afraid. I am sorry you have to go through this. You deserve happiness.
Men in general, at least some of them, tend to think they know everything and have serious frustration levels with us mere mortals who suffer from any kind of deficit. Be it a hearing loss, cognitive decline, or a set of rules we've asked them to adhere to. Snicker. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
We ALL have issues to deal with, and we ALL deserve kindness from our loved ones. Unless we are dishing out vitriol ourselves, then all bets are off.
Take care of YOURSELF, my friend, and stand UP for yourself as well.
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