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He stopped dialysis on Wednesday. Hospice came in the same day. We discussed this with my dad and this is what he's wanted for a long time. He said he's ready for the next stage of his life and he can't wait to see my mom. So after the intake nurse finished we had a good night. Yesterday morning his nurse came and he was hallucinating a lot. So the nurse explained the meds hes going to be given and she gave him a small dose of lorazepam to settle him down. Well it knocked him for a loop. He slept all day and was restless all night. Does not communicate at all. Except grunting. I called his nurse and she told me to give him morphine. Wait 15 minutes and if he was still agitated to give him haloperidol. I'm afraid of that medicine. Only hearing bad things. Is there anyone who has used this medicine and can explain it to me? The things I've read say may cause sudden and immediate death. Thanks everyone for your help.

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It sounds to me as though your father is actively dying, the morphine and the haloperidol are given to relieve physical and mental pain that are common at the end of life. My mom was given haloperidol at the end of her life along with dilaudid, I was glad to have her zonked out of her mind and not suffering during those 3 days.
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I can't advise on the Meds but I am familiar with end stage kidney failure. They will hallucinate. The toxins are entering the blood stream because the kidneys can no longer clean them out. Your father will become septic. Sleeping is probably the best thing for him. Thats what Hospice is for, keeping them comfortable. With my GF she passed in two weeks. My husbands cousin, just about 2 weeks.
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I'm so glad your dad was ready to go. It sounds like it's his time. The drugs won't cause death, the toxins from the kidneys do. Its a horrible death unmedicated and the drugs will give him peace and allow him to let go. Hugs and prayers for gentle passage of your dad!
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Here i am thinking its going to be the drugs that kill him. And they might but at least he will be at ease. But most likely it will be because of the poison in his body because his kidneys arent working. Which they arent. So making him comfortable is best. Here i am fighting this medicine when i shouldnt be. And so far the hospice people have been very good. They just want me to adminster the meds and my brothers are looking at me like im a murderer. Thats what im fighting with too. 2 grown men, one over 60 and one way in his 50s saying i cant do it. I dont want to kill him.
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cherokeegrrl54 Feb 2020
You are NOT killing your dad, his disease is. However, what you can do is make his transition much easier by giving him the meds that hospice provides. This is never easy, even though we know this is what our loved one wants. Just know that soon he will be with your mom again and they will be smiling down on you....healing blessings coming your way...
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Please god give me the strength. Please.
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Please know that you are not killing him. You are easing the transition to his passing. If your brothers are having difficulty, please contact your hospice team so the chaplain, social worker or nurse can counsel them and help all of you through this. My heart goes out to each of you. Wishing you the courage you need. Hugs.
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During the last week when my mom was dying, I asked the Hospice nurse to make sure she didn't wake up anymore. She was in too much pain and agitation. The nurse upped her morphine and ativan to every hour. You are doing right by your dad. Don't entertain any other thoughts.
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Well done for your courage in coping. The next stage can be hard too, lots to do with funeral and relatives and business things. I hope that adrenaline keeps you going. In a couple of weeks' time, things will settle down, though you may feel very flat. Very best wishes, and be tolerant of your brothers. They didn't understand.
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Wishing you and your family peace in your hearts as you help him along this final earthly journey ((hugs))
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My dad died this morning. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I really appreciate it.
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cherokeegrrl54 Mar 2020
Im so sorry for your loss. Just know in your heart you did the best for him and he is in a better place. Healing blessings to you. Liz
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