I'm close to losing my mind..I'm doing this solo but have home hospice to help but that doesn't take care of the constant diaper changes and all the other things that need attending to....all family is abroad so that's a situation...how do I manage?
Apart from simply removing her from your home and placing her in FT care, you could hire some CG's 2-4 days a week. Yes, it's pricey, but it might give you the break you need.
DO NOT spend your own money. Use mom's. That's why it's there.
Decide what is most important for you to have when mom is in others' care. Is it shopping? Sleeping? Cleaning? Whatever YOU need to be refreshed is what you should do.
My husband too was a stroke survivor and was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life. Because my husband had such bad incontinence, he ended up getting a supra pubic catheter which was a life saver for me, and I originally had my grandson living with me, and he would put my husband on the bedside commode for me. so he could poop in it. Eventually when he moved back home, I had to hire an aide to come in the morning to put him on the bedside commode. That worked out great as she would hold him up, while I cleaned him up. Much easier than having to clean someone up lying in the bed. Other than the aide coming in the morning I did everything else myself too. The hospice nurse coming once a week, and their aides twice a week to bathe him, really didn't count as much help in the big picture of things. You will probably need to hire some outside help(with moms money) so you can get some much needed help, or you may have to look into placing her in a facility. Also keep in mind that as mom is closer to dying(within the week) you can have her brought to a hospice home, where she will be cared for 24/7 until she dies, and it will be covered 100% under moms Medicare. You can also place her in a hospice home for a longer period, but that has to be paid for out of pocket and it costs more than most nursing facilities to do that. It's hard, I know, but please make sure that you're taking time to do some simple things that you enjoy. Hiring some outside help will allow you to do more of that as well. I wish you the best.
part of Hospice is that they can provide a Volunteer that can give you a break, they can sit with mom or do light housework. What they can not do is direct “hands on care”. Talk to the Hospice Nurse or Social Worker about arranging the service. You can hire caregivers to help out, ideally mom would pay for caregivers with any funds she has. You can also contact your local Area Agency on Aging and see if she would be eligible for any programs that will provide some help.
DO NOT spend your own money. Use mom's. That's why it's there.
Decide what is most important for you to have when mom is in others' care. Is it shopping? Sleeping? Cleaning? Whatever YOU need to be refreshed is what you should do.
Other than the aide coming in the morning I did everything else myself too. The hospice nurse coming once a week, and their aides twice a week to bathe him, really didn't count as much help in the big picture of things.
You will probably need to hire some outside help(with moms money) so you can get some much needed help, or you may have to look into placing her in a facility.
Also keep in mind that as mom is closer to dying(within the week) you can have her brought to a hospice home, where she will be cared for 24/7 until she dies, and it will be covered 100% under moms Medicare. You can also place her in a hospice home for a longer period, but that has to be paid for out of pocket and it costs more than most nursing facilities to do that.
It's hard, I know, but please make sure that you're taking time to do some simple things that you enjoy. Hiring some outside help will allow you to do more of that as well. I wish you the best.
You can hire caregivers to help out, ideally mom would pay for caregivers with any funds she has.
You can also contact your local Area Agency on Aging and see if she would be eligible for any programs that will provide some help.