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Zachary, my MIL is in a very reputable and well-managed NH. They locked down immediately in March keeping everyone out except the most essential people. They had been virus free, until last week. Here in MN 80% of all virus deaths are occurring in NHs. I would keep her out until the number of deaths in your state declines (and I expect a spike in deaths as states come out of lockdown). Unfortunately, people are the weak link in spreading the virus. That means anyone who comes in contact with your spouse is a possible carrier. I understand this may not be what you want to hear right now. But you need to know the "odds" of her/his getting C19 if you change any of her current caregiving arrangement. Also know that if your LO does go into a NH now, you may not be permitted to enter the NH for quite a while. So, no physical contact at all. That's how it's been with my MIL. We've not been in the facility to be with her since March, and don't know when we will be now that the virus is present in there. I wish you peace in your heart and help for your situation!
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Before you put your spouse in a nursing home find out what their response to the pandemic is and has been. believe it or not this may be a great time for you to discover how well a facility is run. A good facility will have protocols in place and few if any cases among their residents. If they do have a case, they should have a good plan to have them isolated from the rest of the nursing home population, and that includes the healthcare workers. For example- none of the healthcare workers working with the covid-19 pts should be caring for the pts who are not diagnosed with covid-19. Also at this time they should not be allowing any visitors from the community inside nursing homes ( including family members) . There are many other precautions they should be taking; these are just a few. There are nursing facilities doing it right, find out who they are. Also the CDC has guidelines for such places, find out what they are . It is likely nursing homes won't be taking new admissions at this time, however you can be doing research and finding out what sort of records they have in planning for situations such as this and what they are doing now. You can probably even find out if a facility had covid deaths. You want a place with a plan for pandemics. That will mean your loved one is being well cared for in the future when he does go in. Good luck!
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Around me (Massachusetts) almost none of the nursing homes are taking new admissions at this time. The ones that are, are only taking patients who have COVID-19 virus. So you might want to check, if you have a social worker or from your primary care office, to see if this is even an option at this time. If not, maybe you could get some help from the visiting nurses.
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