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It’s getting worse. She’s been having this delusion for months. I know you’re supposed to go along to not upset them but since this is my husband I don’t want to do that to him. Makes this extra tough to deal with. She’s angry at me now for not believing her. What should be my next step?

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She needs to see her doctor for medications to help her. She is suffering just like you
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Reply to MACinCT
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My FIL accuses my kids of stealing his TV, which is firmly attached to the wall directly across from his couch. There’s no convincing him that IT’S RIGHT THERE, so I just say, “I’m sorry. Those kids are crazy! I’ll have them bring it back tomorrow. In the meantime, let’s watch TV.” Yes, it’s absurd, but go along to get along. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Also, call her Dr and discuss meds for this. FIL’s Dr prescribed Seroquel (later Risperidone) before bed, and the bad dreams have all but completely stopped. Have your husband apologize and take his flashlight away! 🤪
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Reply to FarmJelly
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Could you suggest that it was someone else shining the lights? And that you have reported it to the police so that they can follow it up? And tomorrow, that it will take some time for them to track down the offender?
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Maybe a cool damp washcloth to lay across her eyes with a kiss on her forehead

she could be having vision issues - flashers
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Reply to MsMadge
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Two in the morning is no time to be trying to figure out what's behind the delusion! But something is. Yes, she's "imagining" them - but why? Let's have that conversation when you've had some sleep :)

I hope your husband and you both understand that this is not a real accusation, and neither of you should respond to her or feel in yourselves as though it is. If I said "your husband just beheaded all my chrysanthemums" it would be so totally absurd that you couldn't be offended or hurt by it, could you? And this fear of your mother's, because that's what it is, is just as absurd. Look on it as a puzzle, not a criticism.

For now, reassure her; tomorrow, talk to her about what she thinks is happening. Does she otherwise get on well with your husband?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Is your mother still wide awake? I should go into her room and lie down next to her. Apart from soothing her, this may reveal to you what is triggering the delusion - a streetlight, a passing car, shadows from trees outdoors, a light on some piece of electronic equipment. And if there's nothing, you can still reassure her that you're keeping watch.

Are you okay? Hope you do get to sleep, and your mother is soon feeling better.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Ladybug518 May 31, 2019
Hi - thanks for your kind response. She is imagining the lights, I know. I am struggling with the fact that she is accusing my husband. Should he be apologizing to her for something he didn't do? That makes me so sad.
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