my birthday was August 1I have not seen or heard from my mother in seven months in two weeks( since Dec 20,2024)I received a random text message from my brother-in-law who I do not speak to you at allHe states, we have been trying to reach you for a week and a half"Mom" ( he refers to my mother as his mom) has been wanting to wish you a happy birthdayMy response : I call your wife 4 to 6 times a day on her cell phone and text her twice a day asking how My Mom is doing and I never receive a response. It has been seven months in two weeks.Please tell my sister I would very much like to speak to my mom and she can call me and put the phone up to my mother's ear and we can talkI never heard backI have pretty much been swept under the rugMy mother and I have always had a great relationship very much centered around MusicI am a music director/ organist in a church. I send my sister the live stream information so my mom can watch the service.I send my sister recordings of my playingMy mother never gets any of them.My mother's birthday will be August 21. My mom will be 90 years old. I texted the husband once again and told him that I was coming up to visit my mom for her birthday and that I cannot be stopped....No reply on that eitherSo you see, my sister has been mad at me most of our adult livesShe is using her anger at me by not allowing me to see or communicate with my mom. She is POA.My sister has deep seated emotional issues, stemming from childhood and narcissistic personality disorderChristmas Day, I texted her and told her to please put mom on her phone so I could say merry ChristmasMy sister's replyNo, I don't feel like having my Christmas ruined....I can't make this stuff upClearly, my sister does not care about my mom's happinessI do think my mom is staying alive just to see me againI have received a number of text back in 2024 from my sister stating that my mom would not make it to Christmas day of 2024And here it is August 6 of 2025And my mom is asking to say happy birthday to meBreaks my heart
At the very least you should call APS and tell them all you told us here; ask they make a wellness visit and ask how a visit can be arranged for you to see mom, whether accompanied or not accompanied.
Your mom is currently living with and being cared for by a sister who very much dislikes you and doesn't want you in her home, nor to communicate with you. You will need now to explore the laws pertaining to your rights to see your mother in her last days. I would forget all this nonsense about church services and music. Take along a small tape of your music if you like when you visit. This isn't about a deep relationship now as you won't be having that with your mother in the care of someone who loathes you.
The concern here is the miscommunication going on within that household. You have a sister who is ignoring your reaching out and a brother-in-law who is asking where you are. Something is amiss here, clearly, and perhaps APS can iron it out.