It has been a slow progression over the past 10 years, but I have discovered that she not only has been mean and demanding but she actually has been bad mouthing me to individual family members as well. It is very disheartening, because she has been doing this with, not only my Dad and brother, but with my two children as well. I have said nothing, but I would like to be able to feel better about the damage she has done in an empathetic manner and not feel so bad. Any advice?
And as always come on here to rant or vent this is a good place to just get your feelings out and get information!
Don't forget to take time for yourself!
Hugs!!!
It is painful for certain. Here you are trying to make all these things better as time goes on and THIS is the thanks? Unfortunately, yes. Try your best not to react until you are out of earshot (then shriek, scream and rend your hair). If you react TO her you will just feel guilty afterward, because inside yourself you KNOW this is the disease talking. It is just it sounds like Mom; it LOOKS like Mom, and as kids we have learned quickly to have that sinking feeling in our guts when Mom is unhappy.
So sorry you are experiencing this. But you DO know the reality. Try not to dwell on it when it is over. And honestly, try to spend a little bit less time listening to it. If others are bringing this to you, about what Mom is saying about you, hubby, the kids? Time to STOP THEM AT ONCE. This is very wrong. Kindly tell them gently that these things are very painful; that they are a part of her dementia, and that you don't wish to hear it any more from anyone, as that makes it so much worse. They will feel RIGHTLY ashamed of themselves. There is no reason to burden you more.