My two siblings and I have recently made the difficult decision to place my elderly mother with dementia in an assisted living home. I am her primary POA and the two siblings are the alternates. The fallout from the decision has been very unexpected and distrubing. Several grandchildren are expressing anger and intolerance of this decision. Keep in mind these same grandchildren were exploiting my mother financially by stealing money, abusing the use of her her debit card and begging for money on a regular basis. In addition, they were taking over her home and bringing in strangers who were not known to my mother. Items were being stolen from her home and street drugs have been found in the house. Adult Protective Services has been involved and threatened to relocate her if we didn't take steps to ensure her safety. One granddaughter with bad credit convinced my mother to sign for a brand new car with a high interest rate and then refused to pay the car note. The bank is still pursuing my mother for this loan. This same granddaughter ran up a $3000 toll bill in this new car that is titled in my mother name and refused to pay the bill. I could go on about the exploitation. Also, my mother was not able to adequately take care of herself or maintain her home and all of these factors lead to our decision. If that's not enough, I heard through the family grapevine that one granddaughter who has a history of violent behavior has threaten to confront me. I get it, they're mad because we've stopped them from continuing to use my mother. Has anyone else encountered these types of issues after moving a loved one to a senior care facility?
Hopefully, now that their gravy train has stopped, the bludgers will look elsewhere.. but as others mentioned, Financial POA is a must & consider Guardianship for full protection of your Mother.
If these evil folks get access to gma, APS will swoop in and assign state guardianship. Count on it.
I would consider an order of protection against them if gma is still deemed competent and will give them money. Secure her checkbook and credit card. Freeze her credit and put a fraud alert on all of her accounts.
Whose kids are these?
When did Mom cosign for the car. If she had a diagnois of Dementia at the time, she was incompetent to enter into a contract. U may need a lawyer to handle this. They need to go after the grandchild and garnish her pay check.
Hope also you are near this home and can sell it and secure the home for your Mom's care. I am only sorry it took any time at all to do this. I am certain you are not the only one to have evil-doers in your family, but have them you do. Please cut off contact with them, protect her, protect YOURSELVES by doing your paperwork now and making certain that the decent people in the family are the ones who will profit in the event of your own demise. You are going to need protection yourselves in future. These awful people are unlike to turn their coats and become suddenly reformed. PLEASE protect your Mom. Get guardianship and take control of her finances in her benefit. I am so dreadfully sorry. Wash them out of your lives because blood may be thicker than water, but whatever its density, these people don't belong in your life.