Isolation in memory care facilities?

I would not move her now. Tell the unhappy family members to grow up and deal with it. In my state, 25% of Covid deaths have been nursing home patients which is understandable. I have 2 family members in 2 different facilities that cannot be visited. I would not say that it is a death sentence but it could be a high risk environment as new cases are still being found. As to whether she could die alone, I think that could happen at any time anyway.

My mother is living in Memory Care now and being pretty much isolated from the other residents, or at least 'socially distanced', and having to wear a mask when coming out of her room. She's been complaining non-stop, and hasn't seen us in about 5 weeks, which is not helpful at ALL. The regular Assisted Living section of the home has all the residents in their rooms at all times.

Now is NOT the time to move your mother anywhere, for obvious reasons. She will likely have a horrible time adjusting to such a situation, and who wouldn't??

If you're able to keep her home for now, do so, that's my suggestion. Most of us who have loved ones in residential care homes are feeling like we'll never get to see them again before they die. And if the virus does hit their facility, they can die without loved ones nearby to hold their hands or any of the usual end-of-life things that happen under normal circumstances. Everyone posting here is feeling guilty for having their loved ones in such a home to begin with. Don't add yourself to those statistics!

My Mother is in a memory care facility ,and all of the residents are confined to their rooms, and have been there about a month. There is very minimal contact with aids when she is brought meals. She doesn’t have a smart phone or computer by choice so the only way to contact her is to call her which we do everyday. Without any activities I can see mom going down hill. I would not move your Mom in until things are back to normal.

There are families who do not have a choice. Sometimes a placement needs to be made right now- even under these difficult circumstances.

But if you have any control over the timing of the placement, now is not the time to enter any kind of care facility. If you just can't care for the person any longer then you must place them. If you can safely delay the entry until we have reached the new normal, that's what you should do.

There is going to be no perfect answer for the difficult circumstances we all are dealing with now. I got the opportunity finally after digging for a new place for sis for 6 months. I had to grab the spot when it was offered to get her out of the awful place she was in. Yes, it was in the beginning of Corona. I had no idea we would still be dealing with it now and for how much longer.... Sis has had a hard time-Yes. She would have a hard time with transition anywhere and at anytime. I can go do a window visit-with sis on one side of the lobby vestibule and me on the other-thick glass in between. First time I took a white board and wrote simple notes. She cried most of the time. The allowed me to come watch PT from the same vestibule. I clapped, thumbs up and big smiles. I did enjoy seeing the PT. I talked about it on the next phone call-how proud I was she is working so hard to stay active and healthy. She seems to know I am there except when she is paying attention to PT lady. I am glad I at least get to see her period with PT instead of at the window crying-is way to hard. I call on the phone but she gets upset-crying-i tried calling mid morning and early afternoon still gets upset. Staff have been good at keeping me in the loop about crying, mood and appetite-she had lost 30 pounds at the last place in 6 months- they are saying her weight is stable and we are trying a couple changes in meds to help with crying.

I have explained there is a bad flu going around-i don't want to make her sick. All staff are wearing masks so by now she understands flu is a real thing not something I made up. I had to get her out of the awful place she was in. New community does not have any cases thus far. My state is now posting the facilities that do get positive cases-there have been several facilities positive and several deaths. My son is still working and could bring home the virus at any time-i think sis chances are better where she is to stay healthy and get care if she should get sick. Hopefully we will get thru this and we can catch up on hugs and going out for pancakes in a few months.

I am an RN in a LTC. Currently in our facility, it is completely lock down, as per state directives. No visitors allowed at all. However, Activity coordinators are still doing their best to make their lives are as normal as possible. They do hallway bingos, coloring and puzzles and we have PC, iPad or wireless phones for those who wanted to communicate with their family. Is your mother is cognitively intact? If she is, she should be fine.

Never in a million years. I often think how it would be if my father was alive during this pandemic and left alone to die in a big giant room to where he looked like the smallest kid in bed with dementia wondering where he was, and what he was doing there, waiting for us to visit...No way...No how.

Your instincts are right: NO! Do not move your mother. My sister is in one and if I could care for her at home I'd have her out of there. They are keeping people virus-free at the cost of their overall well-being. Residents are not thriving, they are bored and lonely and there's only so much we can do with phone calls and visits to windows. And we can't check on quality of care this way. Keep your mom at home, if possible, until this is over.

Please keep in mind that facilities must allow family to visit (with protection) in compassionate care situations, according to the CDC, such as hospice or end of life. As a long-term care ombudsman, I would urge people to advocate for such visitations so that the loved one is not alone.

I would wait. I’m in NJ. It’s bad here. My mom actually caught the virus in her memory care. She’s fine now. Didn’t even know she was sick. But being isolated is horrible and has made her very angry. They are off their routine. Hopefully things will get better in a couple months and you can admit her. In NJ almost 40 percent of the corona deaths come from long term care.