Your question has pushed one of my buttons, it seems to be the current thing to put a label on everything.
If he is acting out of fear, need, confusion - not abuse. Not pleasant and you don't have to continue to put yourself in a position to put up with it, but it's par for the course for front line healthcare workers, paid or otherwise.
If he's knowingly acting in a way to demean, belittle and cause physical or mental pain - it's abuse. If he truly does need you in the middle of the night for a real or imagined need and you refuse to go to him or assist that could be abuse on your part.
Whether he's AWARE of it or not is not the point. You are being bullied and abused, verbally.
Maybe he hasn't been dxed as having dementia, but he doesn't sound like he's running on all cylinders.
Was he like this when you were all younger?
People tend to look at verbal abuse as being kind of benign--but a nasty word or being belittled and yelled at leaves emotional bruises which can be just as bad, or worse than physical abuse.
You say in your profile you are caring for your father. How old is he? What condition does he have that requires your care, as you say he is mentally competent? Does he drink or do drugs? How old are you? I think it may be time to get out on your own. If your Dad isn't able to survive physically without your help he may need to go into care. More information might help us have more ideas for you.
Was he "abusive" before he lived with you? If not this very well could be signs of dementia. You say that he's had a stroke. Once someone has had a stroke their chances of developing dementia, increases significantly. I would take him to his neurologist to be checked for that, and then if it gets to just be too much for you to handle, you can then start looking for the appropriate facility to place him in, or you can hire some full time help to come in and assist, with his money of course. You always have options, so make sure you're taking advantage of them. Best wishes.
More information please. Why are you living with him, and who owns or rents the home? Why are you putting up with this? Is his behavior an extension of how he as always been, or is it new? And yes, please explain exactly what help he genuinely needs!
Your profile says you're caring for your father Malcolm, who is 79 years old, living at home with anxiety, incontinence, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and stroke. You say he "has no dementia" yet he's had a stroke, which can certainly bring dementia with it as an after effect. Has he been tested specifically for dementia and/or Alzheimer's?
That said, the behavior you're being subjected to of course can be considered abusive. Any time a loved one is screaming and cursing at you, that constitutes emotional abuse. What is it he wants from you all night long? Are you not supposed to sleep yourself?? 😮
What exactly is your dad's diagnosis that's causing such disruptive and agitated behavior? This is certainly no way for either one of you to live, so it sounds like a chat with his doctor is in order. A referral to a neurologist may also be in order along with a brain MRI so you can try to get to the root of whats going on post stroke. My mother had a stroke and her dementia took quite a nosedive afterward, which is common.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation
If he is acting out of fear, need, confusion - not abuse. Not pleasant and you don't have to continue to put yourself in a position to put up with it, but it's par for the course for front line healthcare workers, paid or otherwise.
If he's knowingly acting in a way to demean, belittle and cause physical or mental pain - it's abuse.
If he truly does need you in the middle of the night for a real or imagined need and you refuse to go to him or assist that could be abuse on your part.
It's time to look at other options for his care.
Whether he's AWARE of it or not is not the point. You are being bullied and abused, verbally.
Maybe he hasn't been dxed as having dementia, but he doesn't sound like he's running on all cylinders.
Was he like this when you were all younger?
People tend to look at verbal abuse as being kind of benign--but a nasty word or being belittled and yelled at leaves emotional bruises which can be just as bad, or worse than physical abuse.
I think it may be time to get out on your own. If your Dad isn't able to survive physically without your help he may need to go into care.
More information might help us have more ideas for you.
That said, the behavior you're being subjected to of course can be considered abusive. Any time a loved one is screaming and cursing at you, that constitutes emotional abuse. What is it he wants from you all night long? Are you not supposed to sleep yourself?? 😮
What exactly is your dad's diagnosis that's causing such disruptive and agitated behavior? This is certainly no way for either one of you to live, so it sounds like a chat with his doctor is in order. A referral to a neurologist may also be in order along with a brain MRI so you can try to get to the root of whats going on post stroke. My mother had a stroke and her dementia took quite a nosedive afterward, which is common.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation