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After being with Momma for a couple of days - we have noticed that she is having trouble with walking. She shuffles her feet. Has fallen a couple of times and cannot walk for a distance. She will always have to have your arm for support and puts all of her weight on you. I have posted this before about her venting and $%#@$%#! about family and friends. If you try to explain why that person is that way or to just let it go - look on the bright side of things. She does not want to hear it. She will get agitated and then lash out at you (something negative) that she has heard from other family members. She repeats things she shouldn't say. She does this to me - not my husband. Acts different in front of her friends and family and then talks bad about them behind there backs. She argues with you, but I have learned on this part it is not just me - she argues with my brother, sister and housekeeper. I used to let all of this go, but with everything that my husband and I have done for her for the past 5 years - I speak up to her and confront her. When I do - she doesn't have anything to say. I know that this is just "her" and that now she is getting older and probably dementia it is getting and will get worse, but I am going to protect myself and husband.

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I would consider coming to visit for a few days in order to get her taken care of. I would make a list of her conditions and provide to her doctor.

You may have to get creative in getting her to the doctor. Some suggests that they have to see the doctor to continue getting their social security or some new rule that you have to get immunizations for new health laws.....whatever it takes. You can provide the letter to the doctor in advance describing her symptoms. He may be able to test her for some things in his office or figure out what is causing her mobility issues. He may also adjust her meds.

The most important thing is to have her treated properly. Mental anguish is just as painful as physical pain. I'd try to address that. And if your brother and the housekeeper can care for her at home, then, I would keep check to see that they do that.
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Yes she has to go to the doctor to get her Paxil refilled, but she want tell the doctor it is not working. I felt like she had a UTI last summer and I couldn't get her to go to the doctor. She got mad at me. Even told brother and he thought since she was not in pain - she was ok. I am out of state, but do have POA and trustee of her estate. That is why I have hired the housekeeper to take on some caregiver chores. Brother does some help, but sister just gives her grief.
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walking with an unsteady shuffle is definately to be expected with later stage dementia . thats why docs are hesitant to prescribe too much pain or sedation meds . my mothers last 90 days of life i had to pretty much shadow her everywhere she walked . a couple of times i even had to grab her to prevent a fall .
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sounds a lot like my mom who was recently diagnosed with lewy body dementia after a couple years of numerous falls, broken bones etc. What brought it to a head was a major psychotic episode, with accusations of being beat with her cane, etc. Doc put her on serequel and it seems to help some, at least till last night when she heard voices in the attic - she doesn't have an attic! Anyway you might want to read up on that and see if anything fits your situation...
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She has to see the Dr to get a refill for the Paxil?
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It sounds like she would do better in Assisted Living. They would be much better equipped to deal with her Dementia and moods. I know, you'll say she'd never go but there are ways and people that can help get her settled into a new place. At least she'd be safe and your family could have nice visits with her. It would take the pressure off all involved, including her.

Good luck and I hope this helps a little...
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I take that your brother and sister live there with her with help of a housekeeper. Outside of the early stages of dementia, it's quite risky to leave them unattended, especially if she is taking medication and unsteady on her feet.

If brother is in charge, then I would I give him my input and let him and sister handle it. I would keep in mind that if he is the family member who is responsible for her, then he needs to ensure that she is getting proper medical attention. There are ways to get her to a doctor, even if you have to call 911.

I would try to get past feeling hurt by what a senior with dementia says. They have brain damage. Don't take it personally. She likely has no memory of what she may have said. People with this conditions may say all kinds of things. They may suffer from delusions and believe things that are true. I would try to read a lot about the condition so you don't hold on to the comments.
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Getting her to the doctor would be like pulling teeth. She will fight you. Also, in the past she does not even remember what she would have said, but it still hurts because I remember. She lives at home with help from brother, sister and housekeeper. She is taking Paxil, but has mentioned that she does not notice a difference. I would love to take her to the doctor and see if she could prescribe something different, but like I said - getting her to go to the doctor is a job in itself. I live out of state and I have turned that over to my brother's responsibility.
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Sunnygirl1, you have the correct perception.
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I would discuss it with her doctor. With the dementia, she may not even recall what she has said to you. Did you recently move in with her or the other way around?

I'd be careful of her walking. Often balance is poor due to a number of possibilities. She may have some other condition or a stroke. I would watch her mobility since a fall can result in a fracture and that is bad news. Rough recovery for seniors and they don't fare well with anesthesia and hospitals. My cousin suffered a series of falls and then was not able to walk. Her legs move okay in some directions, but the signals to walk don't work right. I think that at least 80% of the residents in her Memory Care unit are wheelchair or bed bound.

I have found that it's not uncommon for a dementia patient to not be pleasant, kind or rational. The damage to the brain seems to impair that ability in some people. There seems to be many who are troubled. Have you discussed medication with her doctor? Maybe she's depressed? An improvement in her mood, might make her be more content.
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Have the housekeeper come more often. It will be to check on mom, but don't tell her that. Ok so it costs another $40 a day, that is cheaper than a nursing home which costs $400 a day and up.
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