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My sister and her husband came to my home (I'm 69) where I'm the full-time caregiver for my father (89). She was demanding, since she is on the title with Dad, that he sign over the proceeds from the sale of his property to her to deposit in an account in her name only with him as beneficiary. I protested and the two of them became very verbally abusive and hostile. That was last week and I'm still feeling both the emotional and physical effects of that encounter. Their behavior was in front of my father, but I suspect he's lesser affected due to dementia (but I do have a counseling appointment for him tomorrow just to be sure). I believe they committed elder abuse, harassment, perhaps domestic violence -- would I be able to make a legal complaint?

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Well, that's it for me. I didn't share the turmoil that is my life today to be criticized by MACinCT who knows nothing of what s/he writes. I was writing regarding possible elder abuse, but what I received was a bunch of drivel having nothing to do with the question I posed. Thanks for making me feel worse! Canceling my account . . .
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If sister's name was on the title, then she would have had to be at the closing. Was the distribution of money done at that time? Legal counsel should have said something at that time. If the house was sold a year ago then a tax period has passed which could get complicated with redistribution which may need legal advice. Your sister was inappropriate but you failed to let people know the extra part of the story and if my assumptions are right, proceeds of the sale are in his name even though she was on the title. She should be angry. But if your sister adds your father as a beneficiary, Medicaid will seek out that part if your dad has to apply.

As far as caring for your father, if he gets to the point that someone has to be with him 24 hours, he is bedridden and incontinent, you and he have no funds to get a break, you being the only caregiver can have consequences on your job and your health. When funds are not properly accounted for in the five year lookback for Medicaid. If funds are improperly given as a gift, he would not be able to enter a nursing home if needed until a certain time period has passed.
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My father placed this sister on his property title decades ago when he was divorced from our mother. I had no knowledge of it until 10 or so years ago. She always said she upon Dad's death she would go along with his wishes regarding dispersal in three equal shares for his daughters. I moved back to Ohio in 2014 to care for my Dad and in 2016 bought my own home into which I moved my father. This necessitated the sale of his property, which brings us to all this emotional and legal turmoil.

And to MACinCT -- please know I do not feel stuck in caring for my father, it's my honor!
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Why is your sister on the title with your father? (Why not you, since you are doing the caregiving?)
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She is harassing. The next time she wants to visit then ban her at the door. If she tries to enter then call the police. That will then start a legal paper trail. Also write down any incidents to prove harassment and possible restraining order. It is his money but it can cause complications if she takes it if he needs Medicaid. You will find that you will be stuck with his care.
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