Mom calling out to her deceased Mother and speaking of other deceased family as if they were alive. Is this the beginning of the end? - AgingCare.com

Mom calling out to her deceased Mother and speaking of other deceased family as if they were alive. Is this the beginning of the end?

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Mom at home (hospice) cancer. Dementia started in the last few months but got really bad quickly. She knows who I am and the paid caregivers. But really detached from reality. Was talking yesterday about my father and grandmother as if they were still living in the house with us. Did not sleep for 3 straight nights. Did not eat at all yesterday, but slept straight through the night last night. Still not eating yet today. So between talking nonstop all day yesterday about people who are gone and the not eating, I am wondering if the end may be coming sooner than I thought.

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Careisgiving is very right one. I went through the same with my mom and I NEVER once discouraged her from talking about her sisters who had passed. I agreed with her 100% and never let on. Also my mom used to say she heard music like angels were singing. I NEVER heard any music nor did her caregiver at the time but I went along and said oh the music is nice mom even though there was NO music for me to hear. Let them feel safe and do not take away a pleasure they might enjoy even if you know It is not real. When you get to their age just remember as I do I hope no one takes that away from me.
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I forgot to mention in my statement what I don't actively go along with my mother's talk of deceased family and friends because it's too painful for me to hear. I actually well up with tears and quickly walk out of the room to give myself a minute to regain my composture so my mother doesn't see my tears. My mother looks so genuinely happy and feels safe when she talks about my deceased father that I don't want to take that away from her, so I just say "Oh that's great...Wow, sounds like you had a fantastic time...Okay, sounds good..." Many times I'll just nod in agreement. I don't go into any specifics like asking what he was wearing, etc. Again, it's not to scare you into thinking your mother's time is coming now but I think whatever keeps her comfortable to her end is good for her and for you. I can tell you my mother is no where near her end. God no. She's the Energizer Bunny! :-)
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I remember reading an article in AARP years ago that when the elderly are approaching death, they often talk of deceased family and friends as a sign of comfort and coping because they know the end is coming but don't know to acknowledge it in the present. This article also stated that hospice workers often dismiss this talk as dementia but really, what everyone should be doing is going along with this talk because it brings peace to the elderly that they're not alone. I don't want to scare you into thinking the end is coming for your mother. But I also think that unless you're mother is demanding to see the deceased family, maybe just going along with it is something you want to consider as you don't want to upset her by telling her that those family members are gone. My mother doesn't have dementia but I have heard her only recently, like in the last few months, mention seeing my father (who expired in 2007) or talking about going to a party with him. It's not constant talk, it's just out of the blue she'll mention this but not speak of it regularly, like once every three or four weeks. Or she'll randomly talk about her deceased siblings as if they were alive. It's hard for me to hear this (because it's so emotionally painful for me) but I do go along with it because I can clearly see in her eyes she's scared of me telling her that they're deceased; she doesn't want to know.
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Emily: Is she on some heavy medication that would make her hallucinagenic?
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I agree 100% that when a person is about ready to transition as with my dad 2 months ago they do see spirits they knew on the earth plane that have come to take them over. Before my dad passed he kept starring at the ceiling and out his window and I saw nothing but I am sure he saw my mom, his mother or sister or whomever he saw that he saw ONLY to take him to the otherside. I have seen it over and over and over and still continue to see it 45 years later.
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I think they know when the end is near, and they wonder what awaits them on the other side. If the hallucinations are friendly, let her run with them. Time gets all mixed up at the end, past and present memories seem to merge. If she is not eating, she may not need so much morphine. Ask the nurse.
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I dont know if i woul say its near the end, at least not in my case. Mom has been dreaming and talking to dad, (he died 10 plus years ago), in her sleep since dad died. Lately though I have been getting very concerned. She cant stay awake during the day at all and up until last night she has been sleeping at night. Yesterday was terrible for both of us. Everytime she woke up during the day she was very confused, not realizing that she had been dreaming. She was talking to members beside dad that have long since past. Last night I couldnt keep her in bed, she was living in her dream but talking to me. She has had vivid dreams for years but this was the worst ever. I had to check doors and make sure nothing was underfoot all night. Today is a bit better, she is still sleeping a lot but so far the confusion hasnt been as extreme. Im not looking forward to bed time, because its the worst time. As this is rather new for mom I am calling her doctor hoping to get an appointment quickly.
Anyway as this has gone on for over ten years I have to say I disagree with those saying it maybe nearing the end for her.I pray you find answers as we do, very soon. God Bless
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My 74 year old mom experienced an episode after a hospital discharge for a uti that made her stay awake for four days straight having conversations with imaginary and deceased family members. Her speech was slurred and she had erratic behavior. After the hospital gave her a strong sedative she slept and woke up normal again. She had all the symptoms of nonstop hand movements. Fidgety, silliness, taking off clothes and pulling at IV lines. When she came too she remembered many of the conversations I'd witnessed but she had been dreaming. I told her she was dreaming wide awake for four days Human brain is incredible. Good luck and stay strong during this difficult time.
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I'm not religious, more a spiritualist, and I believe the spirits of those who have gone before return to help those here on earth cross over.
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I was with my MIL on her last night, and she was talking to her mother and sister, both of whom were deceased.
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