Is there temporary care available for my mom so we can go on vacation?

Check facilities in your area for respite care. Any search engine will give you a listing. Just call to arrange a visit. Good luck.

Try finding an adult resident care home. Houses instead of large facilities that have no more than 6 residents. This has been a wonderful thing to find, but many are not advertised or have websites. Many are full, but if you find a couple, they may have an opening. I take my mother to a lady who is a CNA. She has a beautiful home. Mom was neglected in the facility I took her to originally because of the low staff who needed more training, a much needed raise, or to just be fired for their inability to care for my mother properly. If your loved one doesn’t need a large amount of care and can get around on their own, the big places may work for you. You have to get orders from your loved one’s doctor to administer meds, and there is paperwork to fill out. It takes some time to get it all sorted out. And no, they won’t like it. No matter how nice the place is. Try overlooking their behavior and try focusing on if the facility can care for them properly. I hope you get your vacation. It really helps.

Yes, many places offer respite care. One word of warning, chances are your mother will hate it. It often takes months for people to accept a new living arrangement so placing her for a week, may not be enough time to enjoy the benefits (for all of you) of AL living.
I would go on the vacation and totally enjoy yourself. My mother has needed care for over two decades and had I never been willing to find alternatives (regardless of what she thought), I never would have married, had kids, and traveled. You deserve to enjoy your life and there are safe alternatives for her.

As below from other readers, I used respite care from an old Brookdale, as the least costly, and for respite care they visited my husband daily (had Alzheimers) to escort to meals, saw he bathed and took meds daily, and even helped him get to a few activities. This was the least expensive facility, but the place was clean and caregivers were nice. He had a land line to use (he didn't use cell), and I called him every day.
The only thing I was concerned about, as a large man with memory loss, when I called and daily for 2 weeks he was out of breath so bad. He said he was out shooting rifles with the guards (not-- didn't know how to use a gun except military 50 years earlier!); was playing baseball, etc. I just had my son visit him to check on him. To be sure he was NOT going off campus, particularly since the campus did not have gates. My husband did well, and family checked on him daily or at least several times a week. I was on cross country visit to my siblings on both sides for the last time, and first time I left him alone. He did well, didn't realize I was gone, except he was glad to hear from me every day by telephone. We don't do computers. Have a long discussion with the facility to check it out, write down concerns so you don't miss any, you will have to give exact medications, and some extra in case they fall and get scattered)., etc. Attendants were all nice. I hadn't seen family in years, and wanted one last visit before my hubby got too ill to leave. I checked and interviewed several facilities before choosing one. Hope this helps.

Many assisted living facilities have respite care. We tried to get my MIL to do this while we were on vacation and because of her dementia, she saw no reason to go....we fought continually on many things until she became so bad that she is now in LTC, which she seems to like. If your mother is in her right mind, you should be able to convince her to do respite care for your sake. She might not like it, but she will understand the reason. However, it sounds like she is either senile or has psychological issues and won't cooperate. This is a hard situation for family.

You can try the fib that she is going to a resort while you are on vacation and getting a vacation also.

Or you might be able to hire a short term caregiver. She will probably be nasty to them too.

There seems to be no way to do this well for some people. Dementia does awful things to elders.

Yeah, this has happened to me, even though my dad was living in his own house and me in my own house, but he would freak out at the thought that I was not in town. Often if I'm traveling, its for work, even on a weekend and I cant get blown up with 10 calls a day, but it has happened.

Consider seeing if an AL will do a 1 week respite short stay. That may be too short for some places, but they might (especially if they have a lot of vacancy and want to attract possible new residents).

It sounds like your Mom lives at home? the other option that should be do-able for a week is agency carers for at home care. How would she do with strangers coming to the house for a certain number of hours a week?

I just looked into this for my mother this week. I called some local AL/ MC facilities. Two of three offered respite care and still had availability this month, December. Rates were about 225. Per day. I thought reasonable. They provide furniture and meals and the regular care services. I think providing medication management was included in the daily rate for respite but I would confirm that if I was to proceed. Good luck.

We use a memory care facility for respite. We had to call several places to find the right fit. They have a 2 week minimum though for a variety of reasons. We use the extra time to get ready and when we come back to get things taken care of at home if we are only gone 1 week. We have been using them for 2 years now and she is a celebrity there when she comes and goes. Label and inventory EVERYTHING, the other residents like to go "shopping." My MIL hid her dirty clothes because she said the clothes wouldn't come back from the laundry. (She has severe memory problems). We have no family in the area so a friend and a church member would stop by. We called a few times. We also left a calendar at her bedside with the date she was going to be picked up.

So what if she blows up other people's phones? If these people believed her and were interrupting your vacation, then email/text all of them in advance of this current vacation and let them know she is safe in the care of XXX, but is mad you took a vacation. Ask if she contacts them to calm her or just have a conversation with her if she does a repeat of the last vacation.

If your sons are nearby, see if they will take turns covering the week you are gone so you get accurate reports of her well being. That would be the safest coverage for her care.

I don’t know how lucid your Mom is. My Mom was in the early stages of dementia.

We looked for a respite center that was like a vacation for her and pitched it to her as a 3 week long spa.

She loved it…people to talk to, choice of meal at the time of the meal, white tablecloth with real silverware, rode the elevator, joined in activities, etc. we also used that stay to assess whether we could place her there permanently.

I didn’t like the management…but my Mom enjoyed herself!