Is there somewhere to send an elderly with dementia temporarily so that you can go on vacation?

Dementia patients are only made worse by constantly moving from one place to another particularly as time goes on.

If you think 6 months is tough, the stories of others here are heartbreaking as I read about the loss of their own mental and physcial health, some have lost contact with family or friends, loosing their jobs, spending all of their own savings and retirement, closing a business they started, leaving a home of several yers, children feel alienated, people divorcing, absolutely not having any life at all, and living under the Fear, Obligation and Guilt often placed upon them as a child which now their parent used to keep them intraped as if carring for them at home equals promissing to take care of them or honoring your parents ,etc. just to share a summary of the worst that I've read since coming her in November.

I don't know the answer to your question, but based on my experience with putting my mother into rehab after a stroke, the nursing home saw her need for her to stay there, but my sttep-dad wanted her home which became a major mistake. Be ready if a rehab or nursing home takes her to first pay some big bucks unless you have a doctor's order for her to go to such whereby medicare B would pay 100% for the first 20 days and second for them to tell you that she's really too much to have at home which will only get worse and worse and place an incredible burdern on you, your marriage, your daughter, etc.

You definitely need a break, but you also need to take a serious look and have a serious discussion about why you brought her into your house and how realistic is this care given the other parts of your life?

Glad you asked this! I am one of the people Crowmag refers to and I am just today going to start calling around to find a place for mom for a week so that I can take a break. It's not because I want to, but because I must. I am worn down to the point that I am starting to make some seriously bad decisions. I need to take a break for the health, safety, and well-being of both of us. I am going to try and use mom's time at a facility to have her re-evaluated for any problems I might have overlooked lately, and hopefully, with her dr.'s support, this may help defray the costs.

Thanks everyone.

Most asst living/alzheimer places have a respite room available to rent for the day or week. I would start there.

Ads on this site led me to an Alzheimer's care facility in my area. I have visited, they have visited my home, met my mother and I researched. I have not used them but I will feel no remorse when I do choose to ge some respite. I was required to have my mom's PCP fill out a medical needs form and administer a TB test. Also, remember there are Skilled Nursing Facilities (SNF) and facilities for AD sufferers that don't have urgent medical needs. In California Medi-Cal will only pay for an SNF. There are options. So definitely get some respite, it'll allow you to become a better caregiver. GOOD LUCK.

I checked and called facilities while caring for my mother 86 yrs. with middle stages of Alzheimer's. Respite care is expensive: most rehab or convalescence homes charge between $2000-$3000+ a month for long term care, short term care runs about $190-$250 a week. Take it if you really have to, just think of it a payment of part of your vacation.
Another option is try "Senior Day Care". I was at my wits ends when I was caring for my elderly mother, with little to no help at all. I was overwhelm, depressed, and loosing my self. Then, I found a Day Care facility near my home, it was a great help. She went for couple hours to several hours a day just so I could get some rest and recuperate. She was able to make new friends and participate in activities. The fees are affordable: $10 hour, I could use as much or as little as I needed. It's help with relieve stress immensely.
Third option, is hire someone to come into your home and care for her 24/7 while your on vacation. The are home care providers that hire nurses and licensed caregivers to stay at your home to a care for your love one. Check around, do research to find the best on to fit your needs, make sure they are licensed and bonded. That means they thoroughly check and screen the people they hire. If there is theft in the home they will go after the perpetrator, or if there is an accident in the home your protected form being sued if the care giver is injured. In addition, home care providers can help with bathing, meals, senior-sitting (babysitting), transportation to doctors, and more on a daily bases.
Your lucky, you only had your love one for a sort time. You haven't had to care for your love on continuously for years and years, your just starting out. Find out all you can before you become a statistic as Crowemagnum had mentioned at the top. I didn't know about resources, forums, online support, home care assistance, day care or respite. After caring for my mother for four years with little to no help or vacations, finally I'm getting my life back with getting the extra help I needed. I just wish I had know about all this sooner.
Good Luck to you.

Thanks Glitterart. I just hired a company to come in one day a week and give her a thorough bath, trim her nails, clean her ears, help her with her hearing aids and straightening/cleaning her room. Yes, I could do all of those things but this gives me one day a week to do EVERYTHING ELSE that gets put aside because she is so time consuming. She does go to our local senior center sometimes but it's only for 2.5 hours and til I drop her off and drive home, it really doesn't give me time to do much before going to pick her up again. It doesn't really give me any extra free time but it does help her to stay socialized. I'll have to call around to see if we have any facilities to provide repite care. At the ballpark prices that you listed above...that's not a bad price to pay for a nice vacation and some sanity. Thanks!

Ted & Daniel, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one! I usually do real well with all of it but after a while I find myself losing patience quickly and getting snippy at the dumbest little things. These are the signs that tell me I need a brief vaca! Coming back renewed with a little more energy and a little less stress benefits her as much as it does me. I know that the nearest Alzheimers facility is over 3 hours away from me but I think there are a few homes and rehab facilities that do offer weekly/short term rooms and care. Just need to find the pricing to compare. But at this point, I can't really put a price on sanity now, can I?! Thanks!

giles,
Sorry I put in the wrong information regarding the prices of respite care. It's $195-$$250 a DAY, not a week. It's expensive, but if your really need the help and the rest -you should do it. Look online for "senior day care in your area. The one my mother goes to is half a mile away, I never knew they were there. I usually put her in for a couple of hours 3x a week for 4-5 hours.
Don't feel bad about hiring someone to give her a bath. I hired a home care provider to help with shower, nails, and change her bedding. Yes, I could do it to, but this way I don't have to, plus I can have some time to rest or tend to things I've been putting off.
Even if you only get 2.5 hours of free time, DON"T do errands or choirs. You can always get to them later. Do something for yourself: exercise, have a picnic in the park, visit the library or book store and brows magazines or books, go to a restaurant, or get a manicure. Anything just for you.
In the beginning I only had two or three hours of free time, here or there. I wasted my free time on dumb chores. I used to complain I never get a chance to read anymore. I had to make an extra effort to take the time to read. It's so rewarding to be able to say I finally finished a book.
Everyone need time to recharge and refuel. You'll be a better caregiver, when you take care of yourself. Like you said, "You can put a price on sanity". Best wishes to you.

Glitterart, I'm planning on taking your advice. As soon as the weather is warm enough! There is a lake near her senior center so I plan on taking a snack and a book so that I can read by the lake and get some sun while she's there. Come on Summer!