a free training agency that will teach you how to bath them, change messy diapers and how to put on condom catheters correctly. Or basic CPR and first aide training?

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The 'elephant in the room' question is Why?

Why do You need to learn all this?
What are the barriers to having trained nurses & CNAs look after your LO?

No man (or woman) is an island.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Beatty

In my State, CPR training has to be done once a year by a person certified to teach it.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Done4now, it's good you want to learn basic CPR training, etc.

Please note, for CPR, the patient needs to be lying flat on the floor. Would you be able to move your hubby from his bed to the floor in such a situation?
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Reply to freqflyer

I would ask his primary if he could request in home care for no other reason to teach you how to do things properly. Maybe DH could use some therapy to strengthen him.

I will tell you, at 73 I would not be doing this. Once bedridden and with the care he needs, I would place him. See an elder lawyer about splitting your assets. His split going towards his care and then applying for Medicaid. Once you have Medicaid in place, you remain in the house, have a car and enough or all of your monthly income of SS and pension to live on. I am just giving u the basics and Elder Lawyer can go into more detail.

I would try Hospice if ur not ready to place him. Also, Medicare has ""intermittent" care you may want to check out.
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Reply to JoAnn29

From reading your profile it sounds like you're already getting burned out from caring for your husband, and the fact that you say that you "hate hate" having to change him tells me that perhaps you've bitten off more than you can chew, and it may be time to be looking into the appropriate facility, where he will receive the 24/7 care he requires and you can get back to just being his wife and advocate.
Or at least time to hire some full-time help to come assist you.
Like Grandma1954 said below I would see if he qualifies for hospice care as they will have aides to come bathe him a couple times a week and a nurse to check on him once a week to start, plus they will supply all needed equipment, supplies and medications all covered 100% under hubby's Medicare.
But don't think for one minute that bringing hospice on board will lessen your load much, as you will still be responsible for 99% of your husbands care, and will still have to hire some help if you're to keep him in the home.

My late husband was completely bedridden and under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life. I had to hire an aide to come every morning to put him on the bedside commode so he could poop. My husband had a supra pubic catheter, so all I had to do was empty his catheter bag twice a day, so I didn't have to worry about changing his diapers, unless he on a rare occasion pooped later in the day, which thankfully only happened a few times.

So if your husband is a morning pooper like my husband was,(or whatever time of day he usually poops)it might be beneficial to hire an aide to put him on the bedside commode so he can poop instead of letting him go in his diapers. Having an aide come every morning was very helpful for me.

And if in all honesty it's just all too much for you, it's ok to have your husband placed in the appropriate facility, as you have to do not only what is best for your husband but also for yourself.
I wish you the very best as you travel this journey with your husband.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to funkygrandma59

If this is your husband you are caring for I am so very sorry. Caring for a Spouse changes so much more than many people realize.
Now I am going to take the last of your question first.
I strongly suggest that a POLST is signed. (more detailed than a DNR)
It details if you want CPR and then it goes into more medical interventions. Full treatment, Selective Treatment, Comfort Focused. Then it goes into Intubation and Feeding.
CPR in most cases if done correctly will break ribs, may break sternum, break ribs and possibly puncture a lung. IF you survive you then have to heal not just from the event that caused the need for CPR but you now have to heal from other problems caused by CPR as well as possible brain injury due to lack of oxygen for a time.

Now to the other questions.
I have one for you..
Is your husband Hospice Eligible? If so the CNA that will come 2 times a week can help teach you all the tricks that will make caring for him easier. And you will get the equipment that you need to make this easier. The CNA will also order all the supplies you need.
A Nurse will come each week and order medications that will be delivered.

I will tell you right now that you will need to hire a caregiver that can help. No one person can do this alone.

And now for another tough question.
Have you thought about placing him in a facility that will meet his level of care?
Doing so is not you giving up, not a failure, not an indication that you do not care. making the very difficult decision to place someone in a care facility means that you realize that the care needed is more than what you can do at home.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Grandma1954

I am sorry for your situation.
Where is your LO now? If in hospital or rehab now, ask if the staff can make time for 'Carer Training'.

If home already, that is tough, but employing care staff (CNA/Support Workers) could show you how they do things. you could also try googling CNA training videos online but face to face will be so much better.

If this is a case for Hospice care, many people report hospice staff are very supportive.

CPR & First Aid courses are run at a cost where I live & require booking in for a training class.

I hope you are not the only person providing care? Everybody needs a team & everybody needs time out.

If you have specific questions, there are some RNs & care workers here that may be able to give specific advice too.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Beatty

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