My husband and I have taken care of my step-father for the past 2 years. Step-Father recently passed. We had him live with us after Mother passed. This was a very demanding and physically exhausting job. My step-father has 6 children who did not want the inconvenience of caring for him. I am now inquiring about retro pay for his care. I was unabe to work as he needed 24/7 care. He actually lived in the lap of luxury while we attended to all his needs. I did all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, hygiene, Dr. appointments, financial obligations, social planning. My husband and I were newly married in 2017 and never able to take a honeymoon. This was littlerally 24/7 - 365 days a year of caring for someone who is 6'3" tall and 250 pounds. when he fell which was often, if we were able to lift him up we did. Otherwise, we called 911 to come and lift him back into his chair or bed. He was a good man but enjoyed being served hand and foot. Meanwhile, I am left with no job and need to find my identity all over again. e also took care of my Mother in our home prior to her death from 8/16 to 3/25/17. If anyone can tell me about their experience in knowledge of retro pay for care giving I would appreciate it. I did not think of this while he was living as we just knew it had to be done as he had nobody to help him and he coukd not afford a facility to take care of him. He was hospitalized 11 times in the past year. We were always in contact with the doctors and provided aftercare when discharged. I was responsible for making sure he had the proper medication and given to him as instructed by his Dr.. He went through a triple bypass in 1/18 and it all went down hill from there. I am taking the time I need to in order to get back to life with my husband, my health and back has suffered and I need to get back into the work force.
What’s in his will? And who is Executor?
please tell us that he had assets, a will& didn’t die intestate (no will)...
What do his assets look like?
you don’t have to be exact but what kind of $ amount is his Estate likely to add up to? 50k? Or more 500k? Or nothin?
Any assets that were POD (pay on death) to you? Or others?
or other direct beneficiary item - like a life insurance policy- that names you as the beneficiary. Or names others - family, friends?
I ask clause your post kinda reads that he had no $...”could not afford a facility”.
Since he’s deceased anything regarding $ from his estate will be in my experience all tied into the terms of his will and how the named Executor deals with the distribution of the assets of his estate as per his will and any claims filed against the estate. You could file a claim against his estate & do in details with receipts for all costs of care. But there has to be assets for probate to make sense to get opened.
So did he die with any $???
If they don't accept it then you have no recourse, unless his children will pay you from their inheritance.
Let us know what you do and how it works out. We learn from one another.
I am sorry for your loss, hugs!
You’re a kind and generous daughter so please do as Joann advised and look towards your future life shared with your husband. Time to relax and go on that honeymoon.. come back restored and refreshed and ready to start your new life 🙂
The vast majority of grown children or step-children do not get paid for caring of a parent/step-parent.... unless that parent can pay them from their own savings.
Since where was no caregiving contract drawn up when you first started to take care of your step-father, I really doubt that you can get paid after the fact. Now, if you had kept a hand-written daily diary of everything you did for Step-dad, maybe there might be a slight chance. It's too late to create one now.
I realize it would have been awkward to ask a parent/step-parent to pay even if you knew that a caregiving contract available.
I agree with JoAnn, don't dwell on trying to get reimbursed.
Did he have money? If so, you should have set up a care agreement where he paid you for his care or at least rent. I don't think you can go after his estate now. Just look at it as u did a good thing and now u have ur lives back. You haven't been out of work that long. Take that honeymoon. But I wouldn't dwell on trying to get reimbursed.