Is there really life after death? And how do we know?

"But I don't want to believe in reincarnation. How will I meet up with my dad if he is reincarnated?.......Why doesn't he come to me like that knowing how much I want to see him? I grew up with no mother. He was mother and father to me. He was such a good person. ......He had such hopes for me. I was a disappointment."

Janet, I can hear the hurt, the sadness and the pain in your words, and how much you want to see your dad again. I am so sorry.

Spiritual growth is a very personal journey. For me, it doesn't work when someone tells me to attend this, or join that, etc. It is something I have to discover for myself when I am ready. So, I am not telling you to believe anything or read anything you don't want to.

The same goes for personal development, people grow and mature when they are ready. You said you were a disappointment. PAST TENSE. You were, but you are not anymore. You dad would be very touched to read the words you wrote here. If you want to make it up to him, live your life in a way that would make him proud.

Sego, guilt is because you did something wrong, not because someone was upset by what you did.

You and your sister did nothing wrong protecting your mom from these unscrupulous scumbags. She may have been mad, but that doesn't make it wrong.

Let go of the guilt.

I have terrible guilt and will for some time about things we had to do to save her from herself. When you are letting criminals in ( who had a recorded criminal history) to do fix it projects in your house, and they figure out you can't remember if you already paid them, and they ask for payment again and again. And personally take your mom to the bank to withdraw money..

And by legal instrument, we shut that down. Yet take away her agency... My sister and i , me more so, because i made it happen, have insurmountable guilt...

I hope my mother forgives me. And I will never know. We did the right thing, though.

The right thing is unique to each situation.

Ask yourself. Did you act in your father's best interest with no self interest involved? If so. Release it.

My sister and I did act in her best interest. We expected all along to inherit nothing. Turns out we will.

There is some guilt with that. More than some.
.

Dear Janet,

Your feelings are completely understandable. I think so many of us wonder and it is only natural and normal. After my father passed the counselor suggested I write a letter to him. Or pretend he was sitting right across from me and tell him everything I didn't get a chance to say. And then mirror back what I thought he might say to me in return.

Losing a beloved father is terribly hard. Its only been almost 3 years for me and to this day I still regret not doing more for him.

I too hope that one day we will be reunited in some form.

Take care and thinking of you on this Father's Day weekend.

Janet - you are not crazy for wanting your dad back. I'm relieved that you're not planning to end you life. Phew!!!

I hope you can find some peace because that's what your dad would want for you. .

I have no need to take my life. So please don't think that. I just regret so many things. I know I worried him and caused him heart ache. If only I had a second chance. I would have never left home. I would have stayed with him. He has done so much for me. I need to thank him for his love and all he's done for me. I do believe he was with me the night he died but I got scared and ran in bed and covered my head like a child. He never came back. I'm hoping and waiting but I won't get scared this time. He's been a wonderful dad but even as the yrs have passed I have this strong need to talk with him and ask his forgiveness and let him know how much I love him. Must be something wrong with me to feel this for so many yrs. I look forward to death in the hopes of being with him again. I don't want to believe in reincarnation because that would mean I will never see him. If his spirit enters another body he will b gone for me forever. I'm hoping he will be at my bedside when my time comes. Till then I will not have piece. I'm not crazy. Just need and want my dad back.

Jesus is the Way, the truth and life. He conquered death by dying on the cross. As you, ask Jesus in your heart to be your Lord and Savior, He prepares a place for you in heaven. Read the Gospel of John in the Bible. It's amazing.

Your question: "Is there really life after death?"
My answer: Yes, there is.

Your question: "How do we know?"
My answer: I can't answer for "we," but I, myself, KNOW, not just believe, because I have seen the ghost of my dad, and I have witnessed spirits taking over bodies, and I heard the spirits talked through the host bodies. I have seen and heard the proofs, the evidence of life after death.

For people who need proofs to believe, but haven't seen, then it is difficult to believe something without proofs. Some people have faith, some people don't. And some will have to wait until they die to know there is life after death. Or if you're really interested to find out more, you can research and read what others have seen. There are tons of books about life after death, near death experiences, reincarnations. These are books written by doctors. Here are a couple of titles:

Touching Heaven: A Cardiologist's Encounters with Death and Living Proof of an Afterlife by Dr. Chauncey Crandall

Twenty Cases Suggestive of Reincarnation by Dr. Ian Stevenson

But Janet, I have some questions for you : Why are you looking forward to death? Do you have things to look forward to in life? Please answer.

"I am looking forward to death just to see him again." Do you feel that you want to hurt yourself or have a plan to hurt yourself?

"There is no evidence of life after death. Neither is there any evidence against it. Sooner or later, you will know." - Robert Heinlein, from 'Time Enough For Love.'

I'm not sure that bet-hedging is quite the same thing as faith. If you are blessed with faith, you are indeed blessed. If you are not but you feel the need for it, seek it. If you reject it, look into other philosophies and perhaps you will find different consolation there.

And Janet, it sounds to me as if the regrets you're struggling with need more immediate attention. Are you still watching your thread?

I believe it is safer to believe God exists and through faith in Jesus the fear of death is conquered which also means there is life after death because Jesus raised from the dead and find out you were right. I believe that is safer than not believing and finding out that you were wrong.

If Jesus' resurrection were not true, then why would so many willingly loose their life in the days of the early church and today over in Africa and China?

As the hymn says, "Because he lives
I can face tomorrow
Because he lives
All fear is gone
Because I know
He holds the future
And life is worth the living
Just because he lives."

Also, as the Apostle Paul wrote in I Corinthians 15 and I summarize, 'if Jesus is not risen, then our faith is in vain, we of all people should be pitied for that would mean that our sins are not forgiven'

Isthisrealyreal summed it up,

"We know because we believe what the bible says. It is truly simple." 

Your Dad probably forgave you long ago, forgive yourself.

Holding regrets and guilt is a stronghold of the devil.
Don't let him defeat you.
Praying you will find comfort in Jesus.

We know because we believe what the bible says. It is truly simple.

May God grant you peace and comfort with this trial you have carried for these many years. 35 years is too long to not forgive yourself. Please forgive yourself now. It serves no purpose to beat yourself up for something you did many years ago.

Parents are usually pretty forgiving, they remember being young and how hard growing up was, what seems like a huge thing to children or young people is typically not to an adult.

Haven't you ever seen a teenager that just thought their life was over for something that you knew was just out of control hormones? You knew that the catastrophe was just their lack of perspective and not really a big deal. Wonky hormones, poor teenagers.

I am looking forward to passing from this life because I want to shake this fallen world from my memory.

I pray that you can find forgiveness for yourself from yourself. If your dad loved you he would want you too, he would want you to be happy and not eat your heart out over whatever it was. That's what loving parents do. I imagine he was a loving dad or you would not be upset that you hurt him.

I am agnostic. Raised in Methodist church. Many relatives also Roman Catholic.
My mother passed away last week. My cousin, came in from North Carolina over memorial day holiday. Many relatives as well to bid goodbye..

My cousin saw my dad who died some 45 years ago carrying a baby. My parents lost an infant son. I firmly think my mom had an escort, a guide. To where, I don't know. This has been reported too,many times to be an anomaly.

How does that answer your question? I don't know. But I would imagine your father had one or more guides too.

I miss my dad too, who died 10 years before yours. But by my cousin seeing what she did, I am convinced of end of life guides. I hope this is a comfort to you.

Eta. This was same cousin who ran into my dad in Westminster Abbey years ago. London. What are the odds of that in actual life?

Interesting responses!

I personally am an atheist and just don't seem to have a gene for belief. I never did and am 76 so unlikely at this point to change as I have been in many foxholes without belief hitting. However, nothing will surprise me if I am wrong, as I sure have been wrong before. That said, you seem to believe. Whatever you do believe I would imagine you do believe that your father has passed out of our confusing realm into one that has more understanding. I have heard many people who have had near death experiences and the thing they have expressed most often to me (I was a nurse) is that they felt a profound peace, love and understanding. So if this is the case your father, wherever he is, already understands. And what would he want, given that understanding? I would say, as a Mom myself, that he would want YOU to forgive YOURSELF now. Go on and pay it all forward. Work to make others happier. Compliment a stranger. And talk to your Dad. If you are right he may be somewhere listening. Don't spend lots of time, but once a day talk to him, or write him a note. This is what I did today, Dad." " I wonder what you would say to guide me in this decision, Dad." While you are living, I believe your Dad lives. In latin america some believe that we die three deaths: 1) our death 2) the service after the death, or the time of mourning and gathering 3) when the last person who remembers us dies. I wish you so much luck. I cannot imagine mourning this long. I do feel the presence of my parents, who died many years ago, and my bro and I speak of them, remember them, laugh about them, and the lessons we are just now getting that they long ago taught us. If you are mourning this many years I would suggest a few sessions with a good psychologist who specializes in mourning to give you some insight to help you through. Choose love. Choose life. Choose joy. I believe that your Dad, any dad at all would want that for his child. It would make him very happy.

I'm sure your father forgives you. My grandmother always told me that we have to forgive people or we can't go to Heaven. She said "it's right there in the Lord's Prayer, forgive us as we forgive others who trespass against us." She always cautioned all of us to be forgiving because she wanted to spend eternity with her loved ones. Personally, I look at God as a parent much more benevolent, wise and loving than our own parents or than we are as parents. Would I forgive my kids for things they did? Absolutely. And I believe God insists on forgiveness too. I believe that when we cross over, we gain great peace and understanding and love and there is just no room in our souls for hate, jealousy, intolerance, or grudges. Your dad understands and loves you. Someday when you see him again, he'll tell you that.

We all ponder these things and it’s scary. I am Christian so much of my basis is in its general teachings. But there’s always the “what if they’re wrong?”. My husband’s take is that humans can’t totally grasp infinity and eternity (I sure can’t!), so that’s why faith is there. We have to trust that God, or whatever your understanding of the divine is, is going to take care of you.

I don’t believe in a Hell as most religions portray it. No fire, no pitchforks or any of that. My feeling is Hell is complete detachment from God. If there is no God, there’s no love, there’s no hope, no help. That would be the scariest, saddest life I can imagine. Kills you slowly from the inside.

Another angle is that we are living energy— what many call the soul. By default we would keep existing even if we’re not in the body anymore, because energy cannot be created or destroyed.

This is a question in which you will get many answers. Some don't believe in an after life, some do. It is my conviction that the Bible is a true account of history and also tells us the future. The Bible has over 300 prophecies that have come true. Most of those regarding Jesus and his death and Resurrection. Jesus said "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except by me." John 14:6 Faith in Jesus Christ (of the bible, as there are many false jesus' out there) as your savior, repenting of your sins and submission to his word is the way to salvation. It takes an open heart, and study to find the truth but if you have that then I believe God will give you the truth you need to make the correct decision. As for our loved ones who have died and the guilt we have for words unspoken. We all have that. Things we said we wish we hadn't; things we wish we had. We are imperfect people. I'm sure your dad knew you loved him. I'm sure that hurtful words spoken were known to be said in anger. As a child, parent and wife I have said things I didn't mean; my children have said things they didn't mean and I know that. It's a part of life. My whole family is gone with dad as the exception and he has almost forgotten me. There are many things I wish I had done differently in my relationships with my family. Will we see our loved ones? I believe yes, if we and they are "born again" believers in Jesus Christ. Our relationship with God is a personal one. He is our creator and his son, Jesus, died to pay the penalty for our sins. Every human who has been born has had to make a decision about Jesus. My own father ridicules my faith. I pray for him but should he not become a believer then it was his decision to reject the God who loved him so much he had his own Son die for his sins (John 3:16). Let the past be past and look for your own relationship with God. Lots of people have heard the Serenity Prayer but not the whole version. Here it is, may if comfort you. Serenity Prayer - Long version
God grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time.
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as he did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would like it.
Trusting that he will make all things right,
If I surrender to his will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this world
And supremely happy in the next.
Reinhold Niebuhr, Noted German Theologian

You must have been very young in 1984, you have been carrying this with you all these years? I am sure he forgave you for whatever you did. Live for today, make the past a guidepost...not a hitching post!

I DEFINITELY believe and know in my heart there is life after death, no doubt. You need to start reading and this is a GREAT recommended start: https://www.amazon.com/Talking-Heaven-Mediums-Message-After/dp/0451191722 If you can't reference the bible for life after death messages, reference the mediums who talk directly TO our departed loved ones, and then write about their experiences. There are way, way WAY too many of these types of stories out there for this to be a bunch of made-up hogwash. And, if your religion tells you it's forbidden to reference mediums for information, just put that thought aside and read some books on the subject ANYWAY. And tune into the Long Island Medium on television, and to The Hollywood Medium Tyler Henry.......they're both wonderful. I have about 20 books on the subject in my library, so just send me a PM if you'd like a few more recommendations.

Once you begin reading about life after death, you'll realize that your dad already KNOWS you're sorry for the way in which you've behaved towards him because he is always with you and can hear you when you talk or pray to him! You don't need a medium to talk to your dad........you can do it directly!
Best of luck on your journey to learning the truth!

I have felt the same way. My dad passed away 2014. I was afraid of what would happen to him and I felt guilty that I didn't tell him how sorry I was and how much I loved him. However, I had a dream of my dad crossing over into the light with his aunt. I never met her, but I describe her to my mother and she told me who the woman was and showed me a picture of her. Anyways, I have told my dad how I felt and I believe that he heard me.

I think you should talk to your dad and maybe forgive yourself.

I do believe that there is life after death and I always did even before I started reading the bible. It is something I feel in my bone marrow!

Yes friend, there is an afterlife for everyone, & our destination is up to us. God left clear directions to heaven in the Bible, which is: Jesus' Cross. We can't ever make it on our own merits... So God provided a Savior for us to embrace or not. 1Cor15)"Brethren, I declare unto you the Gospel which I preached unto you, & wherein ye stand;
2) By which also ye are saved...
3) ...how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; &
4) that he was buried, & He rose again the third day." (God raised Christ to show us that death isn't the end, & show that Christ's cross was acceptable payment for the sins of the world.)

You couldn't have been too old in 84. Kids do things when they are young and I think our parents forgive us. I know I have forgiven my daughter.

None of us really know what happens after death. Some have found salvation and feel they will go to heaven and see those we have loved. My Mom had faith and knew where she was going. I know she is now pain free and whole again.