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So, I would suggest the same things I did with/for my mom when she lived with me. She's in assisted living now, as her needs became much more than I could handle. Get yourself a cleaning lady. Try to keep hubby busy. Whatever he can still do, have him do it. Get him some exercise. Go to the senior center - maybe he can go alone once you get him there a few times together. If/when his needs start growing, get in home help. If things get much worse, you could both move into assisted living where. your chores will be significantly reduced and you'll have help and activities and new friends.
Good luck to you.
For me because I had cared for him for so many years, it was almost a relief when he died as he no longer had to suffer and I no longer had to be his caregiver.
He is now running the streets of gold while I'm here still trying to figure out what I want to do next with my life.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying my new life and freedom, and the grief I had early on has subsided and only comes by occasionally now for a short visit; so life goes on.
It's up to us to make our lives the best they can be, and that is exactly what I am doing. My joy has returned and I can honestly say life is good.
And I just looked at your profile and it looks like you're referring to losing your husband while he's still alive. I initially thought he had died, thus my initial response above. So I will agree with what Grandma1954 said below about getting all the help you can, but remember this too shall pass, and your life will go on if you don't let yourself get too burned out from caring for him. Keep in mind that 40% of all caregivers caring for someone with dementia, will die before the one they're caring for due to stress, so you can see how important it is to take care of yourself.
He survived for 12 + years. I do not want to say he lived because much of what he was was gone.
How did I cope...?
I found a good Support Group.
He was a Veteran so I got as much help as I could from the VA.
I got him on Hospice as soon as I could.
With the help from both the VA and Hospice I was able to keep him home and care for him.
I did have caregivers.
And I was VERY luck that he was not violent. He was compliant. He was easy to care for.
And one of the other saving graces...the house that we moved into was built Handicap accessible. (we had to move, the house we were in was an old family house and it needed many repairs and it could never have been made accessible.)
I am not saying it was always easy...
I am not saying that there were not times I wanted to scream..(and there were plenty of times I did just that in the car with the radio turned up LOUD)
I did have a plan...I did tell myself that I would keep him home as long as it was SAFE. that is....
As long as it was safe for HIM for me to care for him
As long as it was safe for ME for me to care for him.
If at anytime he would have become violent, or if I could not manage, if there was a possibility that I could have injured him, or gotten injured myself I would have had to place him in Memory Care.
Get help to come in.
If there are Adult Day Programs get him involved in one.
If he is a Veteran contact the VA or your local Veterans Assistance Commission and see what he might qualify for.
Contact Hospice of your choice. Have him evaluated. If he does not qualify find out what the qualifications are and as soon as he qualifies contact them. The help you get is amazing as well as getting all the supplies and equipment you will need. And a Nurse 1 time a week and a CNA at least 2 times a week. And you can request a Volunteer to sit with him or do help you do other things.
And find a good Support Group.
When friends ask if they can do anything...give them something to do.
2 of the hardest things being a caregiver...
Asking for help