Is there any way to make loss of mobility easier for my grandmother who has Alzheimer’s?

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Is there any way to make loss of mobility easier for my grandmother who has Alzheimer’s?

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I have frequented this forum for the past few months, it’s helped me so much. I would greatly appreciate any advice you may have.
My grandmother has recently become unable to walk on her own after her most recent fall, which resulted in a small subdural hematoma. Thankfully, it was small enough that surgery was unnecessary. It’s been about a month since then and she no longer remembers falling or the hospital stay. She believes she can walk on her own, but she has become physically weaker, dizzy as she stands up, and more unsteady on her feet. It’s unsafe to walk with her into the bathroom because her knee gives out on her sometimes. She needs a complete knee replacement but her doctors discourage this due to her Alzheimer's, because she won’t have the resilience to recover and undergo physical therapy (we have attempted home PT twice before to build her strength).
When she needs to go to the bathroom in the living room, we have the potty chair right next to her. I monitor her with a camera any time we are not in the same room, so I’m there before she can stand and walk. She has become more adamant about not using the potty chair during the past week. She doesn’t believe us when we say she can’t walk on her own and that it’s not safe anymore. She argues, yells, and stands up to try and walk past me. She will stand next to the potty chair and argue until she gets unsteady and must sit down. It breaks my heart because I know she’s unhappy. She gets so angry and looks at me like she hates me sometimes. I feel guilty about it because I get frustrated when this happens every single time she needs to use the bathroom. I try not to argue with her because I’m afraid of being disrespectful towards her but her safety comes FIRST. I know she doesn’t know what she’s saying and doesn’t understand or remember our reasoning. Today, she attempted to push me out of the way and slapped my hand away when I tried to hold her arm because she was unsteady. She fell back in her recliner and she was fine, but this is the first time she’s ever done something like this.
If anyone has any advice about how we can make things easier, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you.

Alzheimer's & Dementia Difficulty Walking Mental Health Mobility

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My mother also lost her ability to walk when she had advanced dementia. She was living in a memory care facility. It sometimes would take 2 aides to transfer her from the bed to a wheel chair, even though she weighed only 90 pounds at the time. Regarding going to the bathroom, try setting up a routine when you take her to the bathroom 3 times a day, morning, noon and night. Would she agree to having you take her to the bathroom in a wheelchair? (Medicare pays for necessary 'durable' medical equipment, including a wheelchair, hospital bed with bars so she can't get out herself, etc., but you may need a nurse or doctor to prescribe it.) Have her wear Depends, and put an incontinence pad under her in bed and on chairs. This is a difficult time for your grandmother, as she loses her memory, her ability to do things, her ability to take care of herself and her independence. She is frustrated, and is acting it out by slapping and insisting on doing things her own way. Arguing doesn't help, and trying to teach her new ways to do things, like using the potty, may not work. She may not have a logical understanding of what is good for her. Try to divert her attention or give her a break of a couple of minutes when she acts unreasonable. One time my mother told me to "go" when I was visiting. Her aide at the residence told me it would be ok just to leave the room for a few minutes. Don't take her outbursts personally. Good luck and a big hug to you both.

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As you've learned, there's no point in arguing with grandma and that's going to continue. Unfortunately, she appears to be at the stage where she could become more aggressive, so keep that in mind. She may try to grab your hair or your clothes - who knows - so be prepared to step away and out of her range quickly. But then you may have to let go of grandma, and she's a fall risk, so you won't want to do that. I'm just pointing out some of the things that I've experienced in taking care of relatives with dementia. And why am I pointing these things out? Because I want to emphasize what others here have already told you, which is that you are getting close to the time when you can't care for her at home anymore. I'm so sorry, but our love alone can't always carry us through this type of thing. Try meds before making any other big changes, and I wish you luck in dealing with this.

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Prayers sent.

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Certainly try an antidepressant with her. Worked wonders with my grandmother and she is much more agreeable and no longer combative.

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If your grandmother isn't taking an antidepressant, taking one might help her. She's very fortunate to have such a caring granddaughter caring for her and I feel as though her attitude could be due in part to depression. My mom is close to 100 years old. Her mobility sounds similar to your grandmother's. She can walk short distances with a walker but her knee tends to go out also, due to a very old injury. When she needs the bathroom we take her by wheelchair. She has someone with her 24/7 taking care of her and getting her to and from the bathroom and it's very challenging to juggle schedules between my sister, myself and the caregiving firm, esp the overnights. Having a commode in her bedroom helps bc she is up between 2 and 7 times in the night. There are alarms on the sofa, chair, and motion alarms in her bedroom. It's all to keep her from falling. I would explain to your grandmother that you don't want her to fall and that's your main goal as far as mobility. But I do think you need help with caring for her, whether it be family or outside caregivers.

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There is no real solution that your Grandma can participate in. She's in a very dangerous stage where she *believes* she can walk, will stand up and try, and then continue to fall. Eventually you won't be able to be there to catch her. My Aunt with advanced dementia was the same. We had an motion alarm on her when in her recliner but sometimes we barely got there in time. She fell 3 times, in the presence of family caregivers, breaking bones 2 of the 3 times. Then one night she escaped her bed and attempted to walk, fell and broke her hip. She passed away in rehab (where she continued to try to get out of bed and climb out the window). As long as your Grandma can't remember that she cannot walk, she is in danger. You will need to wait for an event that causes her to never be able to stand on her own again. Then it become easier and safer to help her (assuming she isn't a larger person who requires 2 people to lift her). May you receive wisdom and peace in your heart on this journey.

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I think that sadly you are moving now closer to the time when your grandmother needs not just your care, but the care of several shift of caregivers with several people manning each shift. It isn't fair to her or to you for this to continue; I think it isn't sustainable. I hope you will think in these terms now. She isn't going to wish to make this move, so it isn't something really to discuss with her, but with the rest of the family.
I think it is time for you to reclaim your own life; grandmother has had hers. This is not going to get better, but only worse. Whether now, or when something like an accident forces this move, it does sound as though it's on its way. I am so very sorry. I wish you both the best. You are clearly very dedicated to her and she has been so lucky to have you during this transition.

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Is there any way to make loss of mobility easier for my grandmother who has Alzheimer’s?

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