Mom Sells home using funds to live in one side of twinplex owned by Son#3. No housing in Mom's name. She pays taxes for her side. Son#2 loses home and moves in with Mom, puts utilities in his name and pays. Mom has POA set up for all bank accounts. POD.

Moms health declines so Son#2 quits his job to take care of her- no income/savings for him.
Mom begins paying Son#2 a monthly to care for her.

Mom goes on hospice with end of life presenting several times but Mom's a fighter. Son#2 continues to care for Mom, but several years acting as caregiver, 24/7 is taking its toll on him. He has become severely depressed and is not sure how much longer he can continue, so a nursing home is possible. Mom has promised Son#2 her savings for putting his life on hold to care for her.

We are doing everything we can to keep Mom out of a nursing home to preserve her funds.
Our dilemma:
1. Since no caregiver contract, should Mom continue to pay Son#2?
2. Since Utilities are in Son#2 names, is it ok for Mom to pay them?
3. Is there a way to protect the savings account of ~ $50k?

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If you get an attorney, his fee can be taken from Moms money and okd by Medicaid. I do too think you'll need one. Like Moms lawyer said, nothing we can do about the past, got to go from here.
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an attorney, like pointed out is a excellent way to go. you don't want to guess at things... things can get really complicated. did she set up the POA with an attorney? my moms attorney gives advise and peace of mind. after he gives advise either on the phone (he charges for that too) or in person. he will usually put his advise in writing and mails me a copy for future reference.
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You should look into Medicare hospice for Mom. I don't believe that Medicare has asset spend down requirements or five-year look-back like Medicaid does.
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Mom needs to ASAP use some of her 50k to meet with a NAELA or CELA level of elder law atty. And do this BEFORE ever applying for Medicaid or entering a facility.
What a hot mess..... you have commingling of income, probably commingling of proceeds of the sale of mom house, caregiver payments without caregiver agreement/tax reporting. And brother sounds like will be unable to be at all
proactive in recreating past expenditures if need be. Imo NOT a DIY, she needs an atty.

And if your response is “we can’t afford an atty”..... really you need to move past thinking this. Your mom’s property sale was recorded to the penny. & Medicaid can do a transfer penalty inquiry on proceeds of the sale and her monthly income from 5 years past. So unless house sale proceeds were all totally spent before June, 2013, it will surface for Medicaid.

National avg for Medicaid room & board is abt $175 day. A transfer penalty on 100k is roughly 570 days based on $175 rate. So if penalty placed that means, mom will be ineligible (even though she is now impoverished and in a NH) for Medicaid to pay until she has private payed for 570 days = over a year in a NH. And private pay will be well over that 50k in savings. She needs an atty, it’s not a diy.
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Mom won’t be eligible for financial help from Medicaid until her assets are used up for her care. That includes her savings. There is no hiding it. If her son is depressed and unable to provide care for her any longer he shouldn’t be doing it, money is not worth the loss of his health, and mom needs good care and not care from a person who isn’t capable any longer.
Medicaid has a five year lookback meaning mom’s finances of the last five years will be thoroughly combed over. As son can no longer continue as caregiver, it’s time to break up that dynamic and use her assets to find her the best care. Sadly, promises like hers should never be made, none of us know what the future may hold
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